Please help!! Should I get out of my relationship?? Not ready for marriage!!?

Question

I'm 17 and my bf is 28.

We have been in a long distance relationship for almost 8 months. I'm going to see him in January for 3 weeks. He can be sweet and caring and he loves me so much. He got rid of my depression and helps my family out when he can..He makes me stress less and i love him.
I know no matter what he'll never leave me, but he is so clingy! He doesn't like for me to out with my friends, he gets jealous over everything, and always makes me swear on his little niece or my dying mother to see if i'm telling the truth. He is a bigger guy and people have left him cause of his weight. (i would never) and he says if i ever leave he'll kill himself. 
He is always talking about marriage and kids and settling down. He cries cause if we get married I have to work cause he hurt his back and knee so he cant work without being in pain. I'm scared cause asked me if i wanted all that and i THOUGHT  did :( i thought i could be ready for marriage, kids, working and the stress cause he would be there. 
He asked me a few days ago if i never went to italy if i'd be alright. And i was taken back, IVE ALWAYS wanted to see Italy.. traveling is my favorite thing...like ever. And he basically said i'd never get to go. I've realized i jumped in too deep. That i said crazy things like "lets get married and have kids" because i wanted someone to love me. and i thought he was the only person who ever would.. that another guy would never like me. (he's my first bf.)
There is this other guy i really like "elmo" is his nickname. and we went to a movie tonight and he held me during it and kissed my neck..i wouldnt kiss him though even though he asked..a lot lol. its not even about elmo why im thinking these things but he's helped me to realize that im stuck in this relationship and that someone else CAN love or even like me..

He's serious and i realized i wanna be a kid or young adult or whatever.. i want to live and see lots of different people and places and not be tied down forever. my bf is ready to stay in his town for the rest of his life and never travel unless he has too.. i want to move and see the world.

What in the world do i do? break up and have him kill himself? or stay stuck? lie in the bed ive made?
please i need advice

Michael · Answer

I am a 52 yr old guy and am in my third marriage, so I am not an expert. I don't know if you have other past issues in your life such as abuse or others, but I do know that I have had a few. I am now married for 16  years A nd am very happy, by the way, my wife is disabled and not able to work. I feel that you must look after yourself first, you will not be able to be what this man needs unless you feel good about yourself first. I hope that all works out well for you, just remember you cannot be responsible for another persons actions or threat of actions.
Good luck
Mike

Anonymous · Answer

You can't be afraid of conflict. Conflict is part of a mature relationship. If you both act in a mature fashion, conflict can be resolved. If he doesn't know there is a problem, how can he solve it, right? You say you are ready for marriage. Great! Your boyfriend, who has a daughter with you and is living with you says he isn't. Why? You are already living like you are married, minus the piece of paper to prove it. Why is he so scared over a little piece of paper? He supposedly loves you enough to have sex with you, make a baby with you and live with you, but he doesn't love you enough to marry you? Something sounds fishy there. Give him an ultimatum. Six months from now, you want to be married or you'll take your daughter and leave and find someone else who actually WANTS to be with you and isn't just with you because he feels obligated to his child. That's not the kind of family you want your daughter to be a part of.

Think about it · Answer

Break up with him!!!! You are young and need to see the world, travel, date guys your age and maybe go to college. You don't need to settle down with the first boyfriend. He's dating an underage girl, has health issues and is manipulating you to think he'd kill himself if you break up. Do you really want to be with someone blackmailing you? He sounds selfish and lazy. Let him find another caretaker. Just tell him you've changed your mind and font want to get married until you're at least 25 and that you are not in love. Don't explain or justify anything more. Don't worry he'll be just fine.

Anonymous · Answer

Please get out of the relationship now, while you can. This guy sounds possessive and clingy. No, he won't kill himself if you leave him. This is only a tactic to keep you for himself. He's selfish and immature. Find yourself another boyfriend. I hope he won't start stalking you (this is what happened with a possessive ex-boyfriend I had). If he does this, get a restraining order right away. Good luck and don't let this guy manipulate you! You're young and I think you should go out with your friends and have fun.

omfgjenni :) · Answer

if you stay, you might get your depression again because youre not going to be happy doing the things you love. since itll be your bf's fault you'll probably start getting stressed and problems might start because of your different ideas of living. if youre not ready he shouldnt threaten or force you. live life being happy under your rules. dont let him take advantage

? · Answer

If ur not happy don't stay move on u have to be happy

CCP · Answer

tell him im not ready for marraige and leave. if you have any problems tell your father/uncles (im sure they doesnt approve anyway)

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Please help!! Should I get out of my relationship?? Not ready for marriage!!?

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