Pay mother in law for babysitting?

Wow. Do you even realize how selfish and self-serving your letter sounds? You complain about your mother in law and what she spends her money on. Then you end by saying that she acts like your money is her money and what you should be able to spend your money on. You say that you gave her $600 about 2-3 weeks ago. You didn't GIVE her anything. You simply paid her, then you have the nerve to complain about her spending it within that time period. Just because she retired from work at age 50 does not mean that she should have to watch your children for free.

You and your husband SHOULD feel like you have to pay her for her time and service to you. She doesn't owe you anything. Just because she is the grandmother to your children does not mean that she is obligated to raise them. You really need to take a long, hard look at yourself. You seem to think you are entitled to her services for free.

Start making some phone calls. Check out the childcare services in your area. Check into the care and time and money it will cost you to employ them. Are they going to receive the same loving care? Is the caregiver going to give them as much of her time as your mother in law has?

When you are done doing that, sit yourself down with your mother in law and discuss how much you are willing to pay her. She actually deserves more than what you would have to pay for childcare. I'm sure she is doing a better job than a stranger would. AND... pay her on a regular week to week basis. Not just when you feel like it. You try paying bills and eating on $600 dollars a month and see how you like it.

And it's really none of your business who she chooses to let live in her home or who she chooses to feed and support. She doesn't tell you who you can have come into your home, does she? You said you are lucky to have her babysit for you. Start acting like it!!

You really think your MIL should do this for free? It's not just a grandma babysitting, it's at least 5 days 40 hours a week, that's not free.

Sure, a date night should be free, but essentially running a daycare, should not.

You, your husband, and MIL need to sit down and decide how much she gets an hour, or a week.

She should be willing to take less than a daycare, but she should get screwed.

And how she spends your money is of none of your concern. It's her money and if she's broke in a week, that's her fault.

My MIL babysits our child for two days a week and there is no way I would let her do it for free, specially since she is supplying most of the food, toys and cleaning items.. She also buys clothes for our daughter as well.

I think its a bit unfair that your MIL is judging you for buying gifts for others, but you should definately sit down with your MIL: and your husband and work out a payment plan, she is essentially babysitting for you so you can go to work. Any daycare out there is not free and your MIL should be treated the same way.

You need to all sit down and discuss this together before she provides any more childcare. If she is in a tough financial situation then it does make sense to pay her something for the time that she is spending with you child (during which she is probably also feeding them). Some people are in a situation where they are able to provide child care for free for their children but it doesn't sound like your MIL is. If you don't feel comfortable with that arrangement then you should look into getting private daycare for your child.

Best of luck to you!

You and your husband have much nerve. You two decide to have a child but some one else must attend to it while you two go make money. The grandmother should be so happy to be with YOUR child that money should mean nothing to her. Wathcing YOUR child is pay enough therefore no cash need exchange hands. Well, if being with YOUR child is such an rewarding experience, why don't you stay home and do it yourself??? OOOhhhhh, I see YOUR family needs the money but not YOUR child's' grandmother. YOU can't make heads or tails over why someone would want to get paid for doing YOUR job while YOU are out getting paid. Now I understand your point.

Since she takes care of the kid full time, yes. You should pay. If it was just one day a week for a few hours, then maybe it woukd be different, but she is providing a loving home for you tobtake your child to while you go to work. I would pay her the same amount (maybe a bit less) you would pay a dayhome. Discuss with her if 600 bucks a month works. If she wants much more, then find a different daycare provider.

ifyour treating her like a banbysitter then she should get paid. figure out how many hours your kid is there and come up with a number per week you would like to pay and what you are ok going up to as a limit. also check local child care and see what they would charge. then go in and work out a number with her. 600 is a lot to blow through in a couple weeks, here 600 per month would be enough for regular daycare for the month but i don't know your area or budget so do what is best for you. you may even do half daycare half grandma care to ease some of her burden now that she is dealing with the niece too, and get your kid into a more social environment with kids thier age. if it was just a once in a while visit thing i would answer different as my mom asks for the grand kids every other weekend or so, so i don't give cash but i do send food every once in a while to help her out since my little 4 and 6 year olds eat like teenagers and i want to help out but if i was useing her in place of child care i would want to pay her in order to show more appreciation for helping me out.

If I were you I'd get out of that predicament before it explodes in your face. Find a new sitter, someone willing to do it. That way you dont have to take crap from her, if you can afford it put your baby in a well known day care system. It will be a lot better than dealing with your MIL.

Sit her down and have a conversation on what she sees as fair payment. If you and your husband don't agree find another option for child care. Don't ignore this any longer. It's your family, she's not going anywhere.

hmm family matters, she shouldnt be rude about it though.

ya dont give give her different amount of money at different times, but sit some times e.g like how they pay in work place. that would solve some problems. so she doesnt have to ask for money when ever she wants