What should I do, guys?

Question

First off, my girlfriend and I are both 17, both seniors in high school. We've been dating for nearly a year (January 7th) and I'm finding myself more and more conflicted over whether or not I should continue the relationship. Everything was fine for the first few months, but things got rough both sexually and emotionally and have continued on that path up until now. She gets upset thinking about college and graduation and the fact that she doesn't think she has a large social circle or anything. She uses me as an example of someone who's got things going well for them - I know where I'm going to college, have scholarship opportunities, and have a lot of friends from different social circles in our school. She repeatedly gets upset in school during class, sometimes crying while teachers are giving lectures. I don't personally understand her sadness or why school needs to be the place to let it out, but I guess that's more of a male/female emotional barrier. I've been talking to a few other girls (just friendly chats and stuff) and am starting to think that perhaps a break would be a good thing, or just throwing in the towel altogether. My only reservations are that she has an awesome family that really likes me, she hasn't done anything to me to make me *want* to break up with her badly, she adores me (not sure why, there), and I don't want to feel like a year of my life has been thrown away.

I know this is probably a typical high school problem, but I just wanted to get some feedback from people who have more life experience than me. Should I wait until after our anniversary? Should I just ride the storm and see if things get better? Try to force things to get better? Should I ask if we could take a break for a few months? Or should I end it altogether ASAP?

Thank you so much guys. I hope I don't sound like a jerk, because I do really love her and I don't want her to be completely devastated. I just don't think it's fair if one of us isn't happy to keep it going just for the other's sake.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You cannot make yourself responsible for someone else's happiness, and remain emotionally healthy, no matter how much you love that person.  Dating is about finding the right person to spend your life with, not by searching for the perfect person, but by finding out more about urself: what kind of person r u comfortable with, enjoy being with, attracted to, etc. 

U have to have love AND b a very good match. She will prob b hurt, but that's better than leading her on. It sounds like she may need counseling / medication. It's not normal to cry during class on a semi-regular basis. 

U should stop having sex w/ her. That may show u 'omg, the only reason I liked her was that I like sex' or it may clear ur head and u realize 'she's a pretty amazing person who really gets me, but because the sex was bad it was affecting the rest of our relationship. 

There's nothing wrong w/ taking a break. U may find 'I can't live w/I her' or 'I'm so much happier w/o her'

? · Answer

Either you're completely dumb or you're just not picking up on what's going on. Don't break up with her. What she needs is your support. She's depressed. Help her expand her group of friends by introducing her to some of your friends you know she'll get long with. Help her pick out a path for her future. The "during class break downs", she's not paying attention to what's happening in class. She's thinking about her life and how, from her view, it sucks, resulting in her having an emotional break down. That's not just a high school experience. That can happen anytime to anyone. The two of you could have a great future together. you already said her family likes you. Suppose you two got married, that knocks out having in-laws who you hate. She adores you, she probably looks up to you for help and guidance. And as of right now, you might be her only light in life. My first advice, get some friends together after school some day and introduce her to them. Make her feel welcomed. Second advice, help her think of what she wants to do in the future and find something she likes.

? · Answer

just ride the storm and see if things get better

? · Answer

trust in the anal gods to lead your wiener towards justice and you shall be saved

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What should I do, guys?

4 Answers