Am I really being cruel?

Question

My dad has been an alcoholic since before I was born. Although he was a good dad, there are some things he's done (drove drunk while driving on a mountain, cursing at me for not being able to ride my bike properly, having me drive him to his friends house to drink and smoke weed, etc) that I just can't forgive easily. I live with my mom, and have decided to exclude him from my life after recent events (cussing out my long-term boyfriend, threatening to fight him, threatening my mother, breaking the windows in my house). He has been sober for 80+ days and wants to see me again, but I just can't do it. He had been sober for 6 months before, but as soon as he was out of rehab he began drinking again. Today he called and asked me if he could bring his present out to me. I denied, even though my mother plead and told me that was cruel. Is it, really? After the crap he's done, I should just let him waltz right back in?

Update:

To the ones that I gave a low rating:

I'm not a Christian and do not need Bible verses to help make my decision, I'm sorry. Not exactly looking for ancient advice.

I don't like when people give their own account to try to make my life seem better. I'm very sorry that happened to you, but I don't feel it justifies my own life.

mezzo_soprano_ak · Accepted Answer

I don't think you're being cruel. You're doing what's right and necessary for your own mental health and comfort. You're protecting yourself, and that's *good*. He just shares some genes with you. That doesn't mean you're obligated to keep him in your life when he's been abusive.

? · Answer

He's still your father. At least he was there for you. My father left me & my handicapped brother in the projects with our 19yr old mother. My father tues to help me when I was 20 but all he did was steal from me. If he died today--It wouldn't bother me one bit & my mother was a ***** Too. Neither one can't get anything from me. You claim your father was good to you except when he drink--Forgive him, Get over it... Your father is at least making an effort.. Celebrate Christmas & New Years with Him...4give!!

Dovahkiin · Answer

No, you need time to deal with it. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to expose yourself to toxic abusive people. In time if he changes you might change your mind but that will take time.

austin · Answer

14 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Mathew 6:14-15

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Am I really being cruel?

4 Answers