Is his 'childhood friend' flirting with my husband?

Most of the time when a guy has put a female in the friend zone he means just the friend zone.The girl who is put in the friend zone doesn't see it that way.she most likely will try and cause trouble between you.she is jealous or she wouldn't have acted sad at your wedding she would have been happy with him.My advice is to tell your husband to back away off form this woman unless you want to have problems.No I am not talking about cheating.i don't think he would do that.Unless you aren't telling us the whole story and he has cheated on you or another relationship. No what she will try to do is put doubt in his mind without him even realising it.If she said to him dump her she isn't good enough for you.he would get m,ad.so she will have to do it in her own female way .little things such as That is so cool she is doing so well in her career I completely understand she doesn't have time to cook you breakfast every morning.. .Doubt one she has pointed out the fact you don't cook him breakfast .That is petty right? Yes, but she will keep putting issues in his mind.The concerns and praises for you will just get more frequent .It sounds silly but this is the way these women are.

I would tell her you need to give her her space hon.Men aren't going to be attracted to a women who has a male friend hanging on her all the time.Don't you want her to be happy like we are ,Hon.

Otherwise trust me the fights will come.Your relationship will suffer and may end. You can't tell him she will be sabotaging you because he will not be able to see it.he will think she is paying you complements about your career.He will think you are being ridiculous.This is why this will work.he can't see it.

Men never see or understand these things. He will just think you are being petty and she will cry that she is so sad you don't like her that she wants two two to be great friends.And he will go over there and comfort her. You will be mad.

I cannot count how many times I have seen women like this break up a marriage.Unless the wife acts first. Most of the time the husbands are blind.they believe in the goodness of women not the trickery many can do.

Also ask him if he would be okay with you being this close to a male friend?

Think about how you would feel if the situation was reversed? If you asked your husband about a specific past event, person or time period of his life, would you want him to lie to you? You have nothing to lose by telling the truth. It was something that happened before you met your husband. He has no rational reason to be angry about it. Yes the relationship was completely inappropriate, but you were the child and you have nothing to be ashamed about. As far as "protect[ing] his reputation" goes, he's dead, I seriously doubt he cares about what other people think about him. Do you really want to choose protecting a dead man's reputation over your marriage?

Isn't that the definition of being in the friend zone, when the words friend and love are used almost in the same sentence? I don't think you have anything to worry about. But I do find it curious how you married him and seem to know barely anything about the nature of their relationship. If I was friends with someone for 15 years, I'd at least bring them up in conversation with my wife/fiance from time to time if in-person introductions weren't possible. I'd definitely explain what exactly our relationship is. I'm sure they are very close, like brother and sister. But if it's anything like the relationship I have with my opposite gender best friend of nearly 15 years, an intimate or sexual relationship is simply not an option or even considered. I suppose at times a sort of flirty verbal exchange happens but it'd be like trying to get it on with my sister or family. If either of us wanted something to happen, it would've happened a long time ago. And telling him or somehow getting him to never see or talk to her again will do nothing to curb your feelings of jealousy because nothing actually got resolved or sorted out. It would only serve to reinforce and strengthen the jealousy when the inevitable day comes when a friend of 15 years needs something in the future. Or even worse, the relationship simply becomes secret and hidden from you and that would only make your feelings and doubts worse.

I think you should talk to him again. Don't be confrontational or sarcastic or angry or focus the conversation about your jealousy or perhaps resentment. It may prompt a more defensive response from your husband since the subject has come up a few times already. After all, he can't control what she posts on facebook. Accusing him or being confrontational with him about what SHE posted will only prompt defensive and nonproductive communication from him. Simply be matter of fact and calm and objective. Figure out what exactly you don't know about their relationship that causes you to feel a little jealous. I think you should ask him why he never had an intimate relationship with her. When you understand why, then maybe you'll have a better idea of what it is that only you offer him that she doesn't and you won't be confused as to why he married you instead of her. Jealousy is a normal response, but nothing good ever comes from it when acted upon hastily. Consider this your first test in maintaining open communication in your new marriage.

Hey, c'mon now. Drop it. What kind of way is that to start your new life? Trust your husband, ok. You're an intelligent, mature and CONFIDENT woman. I love quite a few women, but my wife is my wife and she trusts me and wouldn't insult me with unfounded questions of infidelity. Your husband CAN and will love other women. It's ok. And it's ok for YOU to love other men. Now desire and lust after is a different story, but I love my mom, and my wife's mom, too. Get it? You are the love of his life. You are his partner. You have each others back. Men and women CAN have attractive friends, and old friends. Don't make him defend himself for nothing. Go on her facebook page and tell her that your husband says she's a great friend and thank her for it and say that you're glad your husband could help her. I bet you get a reply that's very innocent and kind. And tell your husband that you got the newlywed jitters and forget about it. He LOVES you. You are the woman of his dreams. He wouldn't have gone over to that woman at the reception if there was anything to hide. Would you? Start your marriage on a ROCK of trust. Let him know this and he will KNOW why he married you. You're his BEST friend. Wives are a dime a dozen, but best friends are the REAL deal, and that's what you guys have to be. EDIT..... Now read HAE's post. Doesn't that sound like a mean hearted, insecure high school girl. She wants you to push through the crowd, raise your fist in the air and shake it at the crowd. You're much more mature than that. ANOTHER EDIT.......sorry. Machine gun woman is a nut. She is trying to plant some venomous seed in your head. She must have been with a stupid guy or else her level of trust pushed a guy away.Your husband does NOT want to get involved in this girls personal life anymore and if she tries to get in touch with him, she will start to annoy him. And he'll tell her that he just got married and he doesn't want to keep things from his wife, so please don't call for any more advise. I promise you that I would have done what your husband did for a good friend at the reception and I would also get annoyed if she started to get in touch with me again. Would a professional counselor call herself machine gun woman.

It sounds 2 me like this woman requires to much of your husbands attention and she may even be doing it 2 get a rise out of you especially given the show she put on at the reception. If she is to be apart of your guys life he needs to set boundries and demand that she show you respect. No late night calls no constant messaging no going out alone she needs to understand that you are a couple and that you do things as a couple. She can't have a close relationship with him with out sharing that same relationship with you his wife. I just went thru this same situation and it all boils down to respect this created a lot of trust issues for me I hope you nip this in the butt before that happens best wishes

It is a hard question to answer. They could be just close like brother and sister. Give it some time and keep a quiet but watchful eye on her.

Often gut feelings are pretty accurate. In this case they don't seem to be trying to hide anything.

I have a male friend that I love like a brother too. That means nothing, if we were going to get it on together we would of did that a long long time ago. Hell, we'd be together today if that was the case.

you may be over reacting .. or Just a bit jealous.. why don't you try to find out about that girl.. get all the facts which would clear any doubt in the mind.. and i don't mean the source of information to be your husband ;)

I'd respond to her post, "I didn't appreciate the tantrum you threw at our reception, and as a newlywed, I really don't want to read another woman telling him that she loves him. Don't you have any decency? Give us the space we need to start a life together instead of trying to cause a problem."

Your husband will get pissed. Just tell him that you gave him a chance to handle it and he didn't. Next time he'll get on that ****.

You need to tell your husband to end this friendship he has with this woman. It's disrespectful to you and this friendship is too tempting.