Empty Nesters-what do you do when the kids are out?

You need to start now in becoming active outside the home. Learn to sell houses; or train to become a sales person in a busy department store where you will be around people all the time; become a licensed maid service and clean homes of the elderly; train to work at senior centers or hospitals. Do part time work to get yourself out of the house.

Join a gym; work at a gym.

Join an art class, or a sewing class. My daughter joined a quilting club after she learned to quilt. They even make small quilts for babies at hospitals.

Most of all, get it into you mind that your son is now a man and does not want to do things with his mom. And this is the way it is suppose to be.

He will be married someday and you will have grand children to play with. DO NOT make an enemy of you daughter-in-law. Make her your friend and she will make sure your son and your grandchildren see you often. Invite her to cook with you, especially during the Christmas holidays.

God bless you, dear lady.

The two years leading up to the grand departure are far worse than the actual event. Take it one step at a time. There is much work and expense getting them to that point. After graduation and the summer before college starts you'll be so busy trying to keep up and when he's fairly settled elsewhere, you'll feel fabulous! You finally have time to read the stack of magazines, watch your favorite shows, take some classes you've always been interested in, have a makeover, travel-it's YOUR turn.

He'll be back and forth for a couple years and then he'll finally launch. Our kids came back a few times and left again, hopefully for good this time. Nothing's written in stone. Just try to enjoy your own life when possible. You sound completely normal.

Oh there is soooo much to do with your new found freedom. Hopefully he will go to a local college. If they go far away I have seen by experience they some times fall in love with their new area, (and why not) as it represents their new adult lives , and many times they are no longer interested in coming back to "home base" after graduation. Hey its no guarantee as even going to school locally they can still decide to seek parts unknown, but I do believe you have a better chance of keeping them closer without smothering them or trying to hold onto their childhood longer. Its the law of averages,, going far away he could meet a life partner from another area, staying close to home pretty well assures he will keep the same friends he grew up with. Now back to you, you did not say whether you had a partner or not but there are so many things for empty nesters to do. Also many kids return home after college as it is sooo expensive for them to live on their own. Reconnect with some of your friends with grown children, pursue the interests you had,. before you became a parent. It sounds like you did a great job as a parent as he has developed normally and is moving thru his new life stage in a healthy manner. Good luck with the transition. and God bless.

It must be hard with just the one child. People with more kids look forward to an "emptier" nest IMO.

I have one boy (28) whose company I miss as he's gotten older. The college years were rough, but he moved back home afterwards. The other boy (25) will always need me, he has Aspergers and needs a lot of direction and guidance. I may never know the meaning of a Completely Empty Nest!

Start finding your own intrests and hobbies now. When he is out the door you will have something to occupy yourself for those first weeks when you will miss him the most.

You sound like you have done a great job of being a mom so far and I think you will manage this big life transition just fine.

The youngest that any of mine moved out was 27. The oldest to fly the coop was 38!!! and there's still one in residence at 34. Another left at 33. We must have made the place too comfortable for them to wish to leave. I never got to experience the empty nest - until I moved out myself and they all come and visit me here. That's nice.

Spend more time with my friends. I do things that I didn't have time for and couldn't afford to do when the boys lived at home. Now is the time to start these things--not when they are gone.

Remember that they will be moving back in. Too expensive to live on your own today.

It hurts bad at first..