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Frustrations with students...?

I am a private music and French teacher, and have been doing so for three years while I attend university.

I am frustrated.

I love teaching and helping others, but at the same time, I've grown to have expectations from my students; that they will try their best, and that they will do their homework/practicing so that they can improve.

I am strict, but fair. I try my best to help them with their practicing, often I even sit down with them and create practicing schedules that fit their times/needs, and we do it every single week to allow for random events that come up. With some students this works really well.

With the rest, the students eventually leave me, and I feel a big part of it is the parents. They don't force their kids to practice and say to me that this is "purely for personal enjoyment". Maybe I'm too hard-core, but don't you take piano lessons in order to learn more about music? You can't learn more if you don't practice, and frankly, practicing is something that should be enjoyed, and I try to encourage that philosophy of practice. The latest student that cancelled lessons with me is the one I am frustrated the most about, because the parent let me know in an email that their child would no longer be receiving lessons from me, saying that it was because I was trying to get them to understand that their child needs to practice (and yes, I brought this up to them many times), and they just wanted her to have fun. Sorry, but piano lessons need to be a mixture of both. You put in the hard work and you enjoy what you're doing. This student had a bunch of things on the go, and honestly admitted that they valued tv time more than practicing, but that once they started practicing, they loved it.... That's a sign of a student who enjoys piano and needs to practice, but just needs a little push from parents. "We encourage our child to practice, and tell our child that they need to do it, but our child just ignores us. We aren't going to force them to practice." This child is between the ages of 5 - 8, and I think personally this is the perfect time in a child's life to learn about time management and about valuing their opportunities. If their tae kwan do and tv is most important to them, then music isn't something they should be doing. ***Just as a note, I'm not saying down-time and tae kwan do should be less than piano, I'm saying that if it's what they really wanted, they should've set aside time for it like my other 30 students seem capable of doing.

So, how far off base am I? And how much am I going to hear that I'm a total b****?

Update:

@Doctor - I am actually very intune with all of my students, and purposely see what their priorities are. Like most good teachers, I set up preliminary meetings with the student and their families, to discuss goals, expectations on both ends, lesson plans, etc., so that they know what it is they're getting into, and I get to see how much it's the parent's pushing and how much it's the kid's wants. This kid seemed like she enjoyed music, would enjoy putting the work into it, despite the parent's wanting her to enjoy it. I really don't think I'm off base with this one.

3 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Well it probably means nothing that I agree with you, but you can't change anyone's parenting style from the role you're in. I don't think you should do anything differently in lessons, but maybe it's time to take a break from teaching for a little bit so you don't become burnt out and give poorer quality lessons. If you can come to terms eventually with that you did everything you could, and the rest is up to your students, then maybe you can stay more satisfied with your work. You should try to only "take work home with you" emotionally if it is having a positive influence on you.

  • 8 years ago

    You are off base a tad. However, that's okay. It takes many, many years of devoted study and practice to understand and appreciate human growth and development. Now in your particular situation, remember that parents live vicariously through their children. With that said, it is axiomatic that some parents need their children to be well versed in music and French for various and sundry reasons. The parents/guardians, not the students seek you out and pay for your services, right? HELLO! In many instances the students could give a good care about those private lessons. If they had their druthers, most would choose something they regard as fun and rewarding. At the same time, there are those students who are drawn to the disciplines you teach and do quite well with practices, etc., I'm sure.

    Don't beat up on yourself so badly. Talk with your students and get to know some of their priorities. Remember, for the most part, the students do not choose your services, huh? Can you discern where this is going . . . ? Take care and God Bless . . .

  • 8 years ago

    Please do not feel like this is because you expect to much from your students. In most cases, it might be the parents who want their children to do an activity. Sometimes it could also be a friend pursuing an activity and they want to join in. If a student is really into learning the piano or whatever the case might be, they will work hard. It might be that the parents are too lazy to enforce the rules and foresee that your students are practicing like they should. I teach children with Autism, so I know how frustrating it can become when it seems like the students are not putting their all into it. It definitely lies within the parents job. The last piece of advise I have for you, the b word is not even close. The correct word is Caring. The b word is often used by lazy people.

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