BeeLiz19

I'm about to leave my current job and I already have another job lined up. I believe I have some vacation time available to me, but I am also confused about vacation pay. I am located in Ontario Canada. Here are my questions:

1) If I take vacation time, I believe I have to request that time and payout from my employer with advance notice, right? How much advance notice?

2) If I don't take that vacation time, then nothing happens, I would just receive the built-up vacation pay, right? I know that vacation pay will just automatically go into my last paycheck, so I'm not worried about that so much.

3) If I hand in my two week's notice, will I be unable to take those vacation days?

I don't even know where to start. I'm just sad, alone, depressed... Insecure, friendless, and back to feeling like the world is hopeless. My mom is the trigger, I recognize that now, but even as she pulls her usual melodrama, I still find it hard to pull back, yet again, and disappear from her life; I was starting to get used to the idea of having a sane mother around. But she's not sane, and she can't fit into my world anymore than when I was 12.

What do you do when you can see others around you who have full and happy lives because it is full of happy people, friends and family, but you can't ever have that yourself? Me, I've buried myself into my jobs, my business, my school, my books, my boyfriend, the few friends that I somehow haven't alienated.... Every time I feel good about what I have, there's something that's just waiting to bring me down. Normally, I embrace every challenge with a large hug and a knife waiting to stick in its back and to conquer it, but there are the occasional times (like tonight) where I'm crying and I just want to curl up under the covers and put the knife in myself instead (figuratively; I've figured out I'm too much of a coward to check myself out; also, there's a lot to life I still want to know). The second, more rational instinct that's creeping in is to curl up under the covers and have my boyfriend cuddle me in the special way that he does and tell me everything's going to be okay, and even though he can't possibly know that, everything turns out alright.

I'd like to vent my feelings on facebook, so that people I know could actually understand for once what I'm going through, but as my dad explicitly explained the last time, it affects him and my sister too much. Typical, no concern for the actual feelings I have, just the concern for how it would look on him, to tell the world how my mother is an insane immature psychopath who should've been locked away years ago.

It might also help you to know that no, I am not a suicidal teenager, and no, I do not live at home, and yes, I am an adult who's for the most part adjusted to life, abnormal childhood aside. This is more of a vent, to strangers who will prove my point that there are very few people who actually give a damn.

Have a good night; may it be full of dreams, and sweeter things, and may it let you avoid reading the post.

So I've been doing some research on the web about women and why they cheat, and what to do after they've cheated and confessed, and blah blah blah... I've felt unhappy with my boyfriend, but I really don't know why. The sex doesn't feel passionate, just rough, I feel like the person I fell in love with is only there sometimes... And I've brought these concerns up to him, all he does is say "I'm sorry, I'll change it", which the thing is, I don't want to change/control him and I wanted him to fight back, to deny it, to put some thought into it... Maybe that's my problem, that I don't feel like he's all here. He's told me that he hasn't felt like himself since he started working, and he has a stressful job that is going to compound when he gets career job... Maybe this is something that will never change, but I had wanted to by the amazing supportive girlfriend of a cop...

These are all thoughts I've had for the past 6 months, but it was compounded by a guy tonight; I'm a firm believer in never playing the "what if" game, so I went for it. Turns out he is completely attracted to me, we have some similar views, some very different views... I'm more cynical, he's more sweet, but I'm really attracted to him in some ways... But I don't know if I could see the long-term with him...

It basically comes down to a guy I really hope I could make things work long-term, versus a guy I would want to try having a relationship with (we've flitted in and out of each other's lives over the past 5 years). Obviously I'm going to get a bunch of random answers, and this other guy was so sweet, he told me to really think about it and to give him a decision. He is really kind like that, and he's the type of guy who's always thinking about others and letting himself get kicked in the mean time. I've told him throughout the times that he has to start standing up for what he wants and what he needs from life... I feel like I've walked my current boyfriend through most obstacles (but now he's a very different person I've molded, which I kind of hate), and if I were to be with this 'new' guy, I'd end up trying to help him grow as well. I don't know what's wrong with me *sigh*.

I am a private music and French teacher, and have been doing so for three years while I attend university.

I am frustrated.

I love teaching and helping others, but at the same time, I've grown to have expectations from my students; that they will try their best, and that they will do their homework/practicing so that they can improve.

I am strict, but fair. I try my best to help them with their practicing, often I even sit down with them and create practicing schedules that fit their times/needs, and we do it every single week to allow for random events that come up. With some students this works really well.

With the rest, the students eventually leave me, and I feel a big part of it is the parents. They don't force their kids to practice and say to me that this is "purely for personal enjoyment". Maybe I'm too hard-core, but don't you take piano lessons in order to learn more about music? You can't learn more if you don't practice, and frankly, practicing is something that should be enjoyed, and I try to encourage that philosophy of practice. The latest student that cancelled lessons with me is the one I am frustrated the most about, because the parent let me know in an email that their child would no longer be receiving lessons from me, saying that it was because I was trying to get them to understand that their child needs to practice (and yes, I brought this up to them many times), and they just wanted her to have fun. Sorry, but piano lessons need to be a mixture of both. You put in the hard work and you enjoy what you're doing. This student had a bunch of things on the go, and honestly admitted that they valued tv time more than practicing, but that once they started practicing, they loved it.... That's a sign of a student who enjoys piano and needs to practice, but just needs a little push from parents. "We encourage our child to practice, and tell our child that they need to do it, but our child just ignores us. We aren't going to force them to practice." This child is between the ages of 5 - 8, and I think personally this is the perfect time in a child's life to learn about time management and about valuing their opportunities. If their tae kwan do and tv is most important to them, then music isn't something they should be doing. ***Just as a note, I'm not saying down-time and tae kwan do should be less than piano, I'm saying that if it's what they really wanted, they should've set aside time for it like my other 30 students seem capable of doing.

So, how far off base am I? And how much am I going to hear that I'm a total b****?

22 years old, but it needs to be appropriate to see kids in (I wear my costume around while I teach).

evil Alice was an option, but it's just too common, I'm looking for something less common and more twisted.

Would be even better if it was a costume from a movie or book, but I can't think of any ideas right now.

We've been dating 8 months. I used to be a bit clingy according to my exes, but with this one, he doesn't see me being clingy. Still, I'm sure to back off and give him a ton of space constantly. My only problem with the relationship is that I think I care a bit too much about meeting the people in his life... It's been 8 months and I only just met his bestfriend.... My friends and family find it weird too, and I've brought it up to him, he knows it's upset me... this guy is perfect for me except for this one stupid little thing (and it's really only in existance because he's never brought someone home before at all)... I've given him in my mind till our anniversary, and then on that day, it's bring me to meet them or we're done...

I've brought this issue up many times to the point that now I feel like the nagging gf; 6 times total over the past 4 months. He doesn't fight me on it, he just gives me excuses. I guess this is more of a vomit-post because I can't do anything about it but wait, but do you think that I've made the right decision here? Or am I being a godzilla of a girlfriend?

This camera is a canadian model, came with an external charger for the battery as well as a cord to plug it into the computer/tv..... In order to access the camera (and memory card's) memory when plugged in to the computer and PMB program, the battery must also be in the camera... it looks like this camera will actually charge its battery while connected to the computer, true or false? I am not positive...

I am torn over so many concepts of my identity right now... Mostly to do with how I interact with the world...

I have always been a people person; I need to help others, and I cannot spend long amounts of time on my own, simply because that is how I am. So when it comes to a relationship and I'm with someone I truly care about, all I want to do is spend time with that special person.

I am with someone who is truly special to me in so many ways than I thought possible. He makes me believe in love, and in myself at the same time. I have the childish reactions of a teenager, thinking we'll be together forever, and I have had many moments where he'll say or do something, and I'll get this memory/flashback of the future, of him looking at me while holding a bundle, of him in a tux giving me a silly look as I walk towards him. We've only been dating for 4 months now (I've been in a 3 year relationship among others before, so I'm aware of how honeymoon-stage this is, we haven't even had a real fight yet), and I'm scared why I feel this way. I don't know how much of it is my biological clock ticking and how much of it is real. I did so much to test this man, to show him the ugly side of my past, but he's come through it all smiling and still treating me no differently. But I'm afraid that my basic personality/nature will push him away. It's always been my experience that if you hold too tightly to a man, they AWAYS push away, and it ends up wrecking the relationship.

I can't help it though. Why is it so wrong for me to want to spend a lot of time with someone so special? I do understand the need for space, and my own need for space, and we do things without each other all the time. We each have lives, and we fill them out. But when we do see each other, it's only for a few hours at a time, and it never feels like enough.

Balance: I also wonder, why the heck do I feel this way, I shouldn't feel this way for a young adult in the way the world is. Today's world is all about holding distance and playing games and being fully independent. But does wanting time with him make me a needy/desperate person? I don't need him to be happy, but it sure does contribute to it.

Looking for a lot of opinions from guys and sympathetic situations from girls.

Just a few interesting tidbits:

*He let me say "i love you" first, like i asked him to let me do.

*He was the first one to say "we're so perfect for each other"

*I told him about these images after much protesting; he just smiled and said "see, that didn't jynx it".

*Whenever he wants to reassure/comfort me, his favorite thing to do is roll on top of me and whisper in my ear "I'm never letting you go".

*By now, he is annoyed that I keep begging him to spend time with me, and he's admitted it. I want to figure out how to change that, or how to feel less like begging him. I feel like the only way I'll be able to do it is bury my head in the sand for a few days.

SO, I have a fairly good idea of what I want to be. However, I really want a costume that I can scrape together (as opposed to going out and buying an official costume). I've looked on the internet, but I can't find that much VARIATION of ideas of how to go about the different costumes below. So even if someone answered about a particular costume you were going to answer about, go for it anyway :)

WITCH

PRINCESS - I'd use my grad gown for this one and go buy a tiara, fairly simple, but if you think of anything else :)

CAT WOMAN - what if I can't find really tight black clothes out there?

GENIE

GYPSY

I really like the idea of a genie and a gypsy.... The problem with the gypsy is finding a good long skirt with a cool pattern, and a good white blouse for the top (wouldn't mind if it was a shorter top even), and the problem with the genie is again, finding the shorter top, and cool bottoms.

I love having sex with my partner.... only problem: i make too much noise! and unfortunately, that does exist because I still live at home with my dad and sister.

We have sex in the basement, with pillows/blankets in my mouth, etc. I still make too much noise (they seriously are screams from both pleasure and a little pain in certain positions).

It is also in these certain positions that he can't kiss me to smother the noise, or anything like that...

I don't want to get a ball gag.... 1) they don't look hot, 2) they're weird, 3) i can't kiss him with it on

and yes, i get that it's a turnon for the guy to hear the noises, but sometimes it's just not practical! hotel rooms are expensive.... please help!

So.... my latest ex.... interesting relationship, lots of fighting, we thought that was normal, turns out we were holding onto each other because we were comfortable....

flash forward: i have been with an amazing guy for over a month, have fallen head over heels in love with him (and for the first time EVER have said "I love you" first).... yes, I am aware that is a new relationship that has yet to stand the test of time, but it is a test I can't wait to take with this guy :). Completely, blissfully happy.

My ex and I decided to try and 'be friends'.... We clearly have different defintions of that concept. He never approaches me (cyber or reality) to chat and catch up, let alone try to hang out. I have tried the past few times, simply because we went from him saying "you're my best friend in the whole world" to him saying nothing to me at all.... It hurts a bit, because he was the only person I could tell all of my feelings to for the longest time. I am over him; I just still feel a little anxiety of sorts in the same room with him, and I just want to get over that and actually be friends.

**When we do talk after I've approached him, he sometimes seems a little strained, but not all the time. It's a hot-cold thing, and it really bugs me.

That's not the attitude to have about guys. I'm saying that IF you find you can't trust him, then it's better for the both of you that you break up. But if you find that you can believe what he says, then great, stick with it. It's for your judgement to decide, and you shouldn't be coming on here asking for exactly what we would say because we simply don't know everything.

The most important point you should've taken away from what I said was to be calm throughout the entire ordeal, that he should be given a proper and fair chance to explain, and then you should judge for yourself whether or not you can trust him.

My message was definitely not that 'all men are pigs'., but it could be 'everyone makes stupid mistakes". This one's your call as to whether or not you want to forgive him and keep the relationship going or end it. I was just steeling you towards the harder; even if two people love each other and are right for each other, there are still times in this world where that's not enough. So even if he says he loves you, you can't let that get in the way of your happiness (and ultimately his happiness too; he wouldn't be happy being in a relationship where he wasn't trusted).

So I have a strong feeling that I am pregnant. The earliest possibility of that would be 3 weeks ago, the latest being a week ago (I know because I have not gotten my period when I should have; 2 weeks ago). I have not had the chance to take a test yet; I will be buying it tomorrow to find out.

I am a university student who has been on the pill, and used protection. I am a responsible adult, and as a responsible adult, I know the best decision for me is to abort this fetus. PLEASE NOTE: I do NOT want anything regarding religion, adoption, etc. I was adopted; it is not a fun road. I would only do adoption if I could afford to carry this baby through to birth, and I can't afford that on many different levels.

I am uncomfortable with my doctor due to many reasons. As such, I am afraid of telling/finding out from him whether or not I am pregnant (part of the reason is that my adoptive mother is also a patient of his, and quite frankly, she makes my life a living hell; do not question this, it is not part of a teenage rebellion, it is simply the way it is). So I am hoping to take these tests (multiple over a course of time, just to be sure) and discover I'm not pregnant, but if I am, what do I do then?

this is in London, Ontario, Canada

Can I walk into a clinic, sign a few papers, and have an abortion right there and then?

I am a very active person; if I snowboard in the next 3-6 months, I have read that I will probably lose the baby that way (due to falling). Should I try then? Note that falling on a snowboard is extremely often and safe (much safer than falling on skis or anything else). It wouldn't hurt myself, but in the second or third trimester it will cause me to lose the baby.

I want to lose this baby naturally. I can't afford the humiliation or judgement, not to mention the medical bills and the time off. I MUST SUCCEED. I am driven to my goal, and an unborn baby that has not yet developed is not going to stop me.

Please give me intelligent answers that go beyond saying "Keep the baby", and "find support from around you". If it turns out I'm pregnant, of course I will find support from my friends and boyfriend, but either way, I am not giving birth. I am not ready financially, mentally, nor socially ready to have a baby. Nothing you can say can change my mind. I am doing what's right for me, and ultimately what's right for the baby too. What kind of life would that child be able to have with me right now? I am a part-time nanny; I see what happens to neglected children, and I've experienced it too. I will not bring a child into this world at this time to experience misery.

Adoption/caregiving is not an option.

I have failed my first year. I understand it's typical. Due to a bunch of circumstances which include enough subjects of rants to induce a third world war, I am feeling blue about my studying. And the worst part is that I can't figure out where my problem is. It is one of the following:

1) My philosophy/outlook on life; I am very go-with-the-flow. I hold peace of mind in high regard by not taking anything overly to heart. ( i attempt to hold this value, anyway). In the case of last year, that meant not taking it to heart when I tried to change my writing style and ended up doing worse on the essays.

1)b. It's hard to live out this lifestyle; I am constantly surrounded by people who seem so easily able to just focus and produce la creme de la crap out of their butts with not a second thought. It's hard to be chill and cool with who I am when I'm surrounded by people who are so determined to be 'rebellious', to show the world that they have something huge to offer it. I don't. I have something that I hope I can pass on to a few students, and help the others bare the brunt of a subject they are forced to take and will never actively use again. It never seems enough though. My friends say I am strong, that they don't understand how I am weird enough to do whatever I want. But I'm not strong; just too sick of the way the world is to be weak.

2) My music-A good friend asked me how I became successful in music (i'm not really, but he insists i am)... I then listed off how I was inspired to learn the piano, then forced, and then made it a game to see if I could correct my own mistakes better than the teacher's, and then made it a game to listen and learn. (He was really going somewhere with this; it was boosting my ego, and at the same time helping me apply it in the field i'm actually studying, but we got side-tracked, and it all went downhill). By the by, studying french and english to teach highschool students.

3) I constantly face crap. But at the same time, do I blame the outcomes of my life too much on situational? Am I simply making up excuses? Sometimes I feel I am. But then I am 'reassured' by friends who mean well that I do face some crap... I can't really trust what the people around me say because they are either trying to give me the hard-toe lesson about it (that's usually my area of expertise), or they're trying to boost the ego. I love them all, but I need a straight uninfluenced opinion,

4) The future-In five years, I can see exactly what I'm doing; I have imagined lectures, thought of projects, thought of dealing with problems, of inspiring students, of creating debates... Unfortunately, I can't see a single thing of the next four years of my life that need to be spent earning that degree so I can get in front of a classroom... *sighs*...

5) Running away-in highschool, I could get away with not facing my fear of my intelligence. Being surrounded by high grades is pressuring because I never feel like I am good enough for anyone, certainly not my bf. And then other times, I am miss Queen Vain and watch out for my pointed stilettos (not actually; I have killer boots, but no thin pumps:P)... I do not know if I am intelligent enough to make it the 2nd try, and I can't afford a 3rd. I should have dealed with the intelligence issue last year, but I ran away, put it off. Blame everything that I do wrong on the fact that I'm 'tired' (which is always my way of saying stressed... but how stressed am i really?, I do not know)...

BY the end of it all.... GRRRRR. And i'm sick of ratting out to my bf about my problems. I'm gonna give the internet a listen, and then I'm going to learn to buck up... Somehow.... tips please?

As far as poetry goes, it sux, i know. It's my first song on the guitar, so the rhythm and flow of the poem has to be kept. I showed it to my best friend and he said the lyrics needed serious work? I didn't think it was quite that bad.

He was a poor boy

With not a penny to his name

They suited him up

And put a gun in his hands.

What a lonely boy

He didn’t have anyone

So they took him away

Missed by no one till today.

C

I wouldn’t give up my life

For a cause worth fighting for

Don’t think nobody would

No one would.

A Cause worth fighting for.

Why’d we send them away

Is it really worth their lives.

Dying another man’s fight

On both sides, see their faces!

C

I wouldn’t give up my life

For a cause worth fighting for

Don’t think nobody would

No one would

A cause worth fighting for.

B

March on

March on you brave souls

While we watch

A cause worth fighting for

A cause worth lying for

A cause worth dying for.

He's a cockapoo, mostly black with patches of tan.

NOT patches.

we've thought of Mocha and Co-co, but those are really girly...

So far Bentley, but it's really a last name.

Any ideas?