Are my sons going thru a phase?

your boys are growing up and have become young men now hun. sounds like you have a little empty nest syndrome starting to happen there. seems like boys go through this phase, then seem to revert back to a more adult relationship with their parents in the mid twenties. none of them are badly behaved - they sound like well grounded boys, so just do what youve always done and continue to let them know youre there and to do the occassional invite, because between you and grandma, you seem to have done a pretty commendable job!

just a thought - instead of asking "what do you want to do", pick an event or activity you know theyre interested in, and say "im going here on saturday - whos joining me at 2pm?" rather than leaving invites open ended.

Sorry, that's rough. It's hard to say really though, It could be a phase but there also could be a deeper issue that you don't know about, maybe they've felt neglected and became bitter over time about it. I'm not a guy, but I have always enjoyed spending time with my parents, even now that I am grown, so I do find it a bit strange that they would shut you out like that. You won't know until you talk to them about it. Just come out and ask them why they don't want to spend time with you and that it hurts you when they turn you down.

Yeah I don't think it's cool at that age to hang out with your dad. I think first it would be a good idea to find out what it is they like to do. Also- at this age teenagers better communicate best via txt msgs. So try learning how to txt (if u don't already) at first they might find it amusing but u will find communication is much easier when they could txt u words (it seems verbal communication isn't going well). Find out what they do on weekends. Buy tickets maybe to a sports event (if they like sports) and each weekend take one of them so u get alone time with each one). Also- instead of giving money one week- tell them u will take them shopping- so u can spend time with them and get to know more. Use something in the beginning as a bargaining tool/ while u learn more about what they like. Eventually they will get to know u too and might find it not the worst thing to hang out with their dad. Also- most kids hang out with friends on weekends and family on weekdays. (Teenagers). So don't get offended if they rather hang out w friends

Part of it is age. They're young men finding their independence. Talk to them about their interests and you can find something they'll want to do with you. Concerts. Games. Video gaming. etc. Or ask, "We need to hang out some weekend. I miss you. What is something you would like to do?"

Good luck.

They might still be hurt/angry over whatever it is that caused you to split and for them to end up in their grandmother's care. Or they could just prefer hanging out with friends over you.

Yes I do be leave It Is. There at the age were they want to be with there friends.