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I Hurt Myself Emotionally, and I Don't Know Why. What Is Wrong With Me?
I'm "torturing" myself. I used to reread my text messages. The fights. Not the happy part but the bad parts. Where I was called a *****. Where I was unfriended. Where people were mean to me. I noticed a major problem, and I delete my conversations now when I get sad or hurt or angry (which usually leads to sadness and hurt).
I stopped rereading messages that way. I stopped "torturing" myself.
But I still do things. Like I want something BADLY, but maybe the other person has another option. I don't try to persuade them to do what I want. I'll just give them what they want.
Not like a pushover. Well, okay, my friend has called me a doormat before, but that's not the point. I mean, it's like I'm dating a guy, and a girl likes him, and he slightly has an attraction toward her. He's a good boyfriend, and he's talking to me about it. I would tell him to date her. I could be madly in love with him, and every word I'm saying is breaking my heart and maybe even making me cry, but I won't tell him how much it hurts nor how much I want him to ignore my words. In fact, I'll argue FOR the other girl.
But what really scares me...is...I kind of like it. It makes me sad and in pain, but it pleases some part of me...
What is wrong with me?
When I say it pleases part of me, I mean, I feel like I'm making someone else happy, so why does it matter how much pain I'm in?
5 Answers
- 8 years agoFavorite Answer
Please get some sort of help. Whether you realize it or not, it's a form of self harm. Emotional self harm. It could hurt and scar the heart the same way cutting hurts and scars the skin. If you can't get help, try to stop, baby steps. It's somewhat rare, but I'm just REALLY glad you're not physically cutting. It's MUCH more dangerous and harmful. Although you should begin trying to stop this form of self harm before it gets much more serious.
Stay blessed!
- 8 years ago
I would count this as a form of self-harm. It is emotional harm. You are hurting yourself on purpose to take away the pain of other things maybe? I've done this. Like starting an argument with someone Mum/boyfriend/friend.
- 8 years ago
It's a form of Self-Destruction or Self Harm. Talk to a therapist or something.
You could eventually start physically hurting yourself, which is life threatening.
- 5 years ago
First of all... there are millions like you. Depressed but not clinically so. Guilt ridden, blaming self for what happened in the past. The cure is to take control of your life and stop making negative decisions against yourself and thinking negatively about yourself. Be your own best friend. Imagine what advice you would give to a friend who suffered the way you do. Then follow it yourself.
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- xxxxLv 48 years ago
You are a masochist. You need professional help.
Source(s): I went through somewhat the same thing but maybe not as bad. I went through a lot of psychotherapy and some of it really helped.
