Can I do anything? Is there a rule...?

Two months ago, my boyfriend of eight months and I split. I called the relationship off; the last four months were long distance, and I realized the fact that we literally had nothing in common was weighing us down. It's a wonder we made it eight months at all!

Looking back, we had a good relationship. We spent most of our free time together, and we had a good time together. Because we didnt have anything in common, we learned from each other, meanwhile maintaining individuality, which is probably why I thought things were working smoothly: I could still be independent, while loving him unconditionally. He made me feel special, and most of the time, very happy.

However, I discovered in an argument we had after our relationship ended, that he kept a lot of things from me, such as how he truly felt about me and how I constantly put all the pressure of our relationship on him, simply telling him that I miss him. I realized that he was a ton more selfish than I thought, on top of what I already knew: He was incredibly judgemental, shallow, and insensitive.

This is where the question comes in:

Before we ever dated, I had had an interest in his close friend, which ironically led to our relationship. As we dated, I managed to almost completely forget that I ever was interested in his friend, although this was a mutual friend of ours. So, occasionally, I was reminded, but I always brushed it off, and never let an unfaithful thought cross my mind.

Now, he's away at college, and his close friend and I are both going to school in our hometown. Recently, we've begun spending a lot of time together, platonically, at first, but then, my previous crush on him slowly came back. And he flirted back, and made me feel so happy and so.... Important, and pretty. It was truly refreshing.

For a couple days, we had reached a point where we discussed wishing we would just consummate our "more than friendship" with a first kiss, although both of us are shy and chicken out. But then, when we got a chance to hang out, he didnt kiss me. Instead, he said, "I really can't do this to -----."

I get it. I know the risks of coming between two friends because Im the ex, and it's selfish of me to even think about it. I know. And I saw this coming. My ex's friend and I had already discussed the consequences, and when we had talked about it, he told me that he didn't think it was any of my ex's business. Frankly, I agree. Im not the kind that would care if my friend wanted to date my ex. He's my ex. It's over. Have at it.

So, since my ex's friend said this, I promised him I wasn't angry. Im not. I understand. But if Im going to get over him, then I need to stop seeing him so much. Therefore, we haven't spoken, either. But now, I simply can't help but think of him. I miss him. He made me laugh. He made me smile, and he made me feel excited for the first time in... Months. He made me want to learn knew things, and contemplate new things, and believe in new things. It was the first time since the summer I was truly happy.

Is there anything I can do? It wasn't his decision to stop seeing each other, or to stop talking, so it isn't like he would say no if I asked him to hang out with me.

Mostly, I believe that it's his friendship with my ex that is important right now, ergo it should be up to him if he wanted to talk to his friend about how comfortable he would be with us seeing each other. But what if I went I my ex to talk about it? After all, the three of us are mutual friends. What would I say to my ex? How could I even bring it up without angering him and making him point fingers at his friend, when truthfully, it's me who can't get over his friend. It's my fault that this happened. I don't know what to do...