Fight between heart and brain?

This is very common problem, sometimes worse for some people more than others. You cant completely remove this problem, this is part of being HUMAN. We ALL have times where I brain tells us 1 thing, but our hearts desperately wish for another thing. The dilemma is often between our brains saying what is the RIGHT or CORRECT thing to do & our hearts WANTING or DESIRING something else. You cant remove it completely, but you can train yourself to choose the CORRECT behavior more often, even when your heart wants something different. This is all part of the maturing process - learning to modulate & control your own thoughts & behavior (aka: Self-regulation)

I would suggest that when you have a conflict between what your heart WANTS & what your brain says you should do, you try the following (these are part of Self-Monitoring):

1. Self-Feedback: Remind your heart what would be the good outcomes (relationships, family, friends, social, money, job, school, etc) if you follow what your brain says you should do. Talk to yourself about what you want in life in the long-term & how doing the right thing will help you achieve it. In the long term you want to pass your classes (right?), so studying for the test will help you pass the test & class (not watching TV/movie). Give yourself positive feedback when you do the right thing.

2. Self-Consequation: Ask your heart about the CONSEQUENCES of following what it wants now? If you watch a movie instead of studying for the test & then you fail the test: does your heart really want to fail? Does your heart really not want to have any money because you foolishly spent it? If your heart tells you to do something for some1 you love but you know its wrong - ask your heart if it really wants to suffer disappointment & anger from parents, society & friends? The second part to this one is setting or accepting consequences for yourself if you mess up. If you fail the test because you didnt study - admit it, dont try to avoid or change it. If you go shopping all day on Monday when you knew you shouldnt, then no shopping the rest of the week. If you eat too many sweets, do 30 mins hard exercise!

3. Self-Reinforcement: Make rewards for yourself when you have identified what you should do (brain) vs what you want to do (heart). Ex: You have to study for a test, but you want to watch TV, Study for 1 hr then afterwards give yourself a reward of 1 hr TV time. If you dont eat sweets all week, then treat yourself to something yummy the last day (it will seem even sweeter after waiting!) If you are successful each week in NOT spending more $ shopping than what you have set aside, reward yourself with a night out with friends, movie or a nice dinner. The reward should be small, so you arent ending up spending more money on the reward than if you just wasted all of it shopping in the first place.

4. Self-Limitations: Make some rules for yourself about what you can & cant do. Set aside a specific amount of $ each week & month to go shopping with. When thats gone, it's gone - dont spend anymore & dont take anymore into the store than what you have allowed yourself each week/month. Set a limit on TV: 2 hrs a day, no matter what. A movie isnt usually longer than that - if you want to watch a movie, then dont watch any TV before or after the movie. Set aside 1-2 days per week for eating treats. Set a limit on how long phone conversations (20 mins, up to 1 1/2 hrs per day), number of texts per day, computer time of any kind (unless studying), etc.

5. Goal-setting: Set some specific goals about what you want to achieve in life, write them down & then outline several ways you will achieve your goals. Write also a list of healthy habits in life that will contribute to success. Make this list & put it in a place where you can see it daily. Things like: studying hard, eating less treats, exercising daily for 30 mins, saving money, etc. Also make some basic life goals like treating others more kindly, not fighting/arguing with family/parents, exercising daily for mental health (not just for weight loss).

Below I have posted some links that talk about self-regulation & monitoring, also why we needs these, how they work & some ways to learn self-monitoring & regulation. There are also a couple sites on habits for successful people that I think might help you.

Brain And Heart Fighting

It relies upon on whether you employ your analytical and logical ingredient of the suggestions (left) or you enable your emotional ingredient of the suggestions take the lead (spectacular). good success. added suggestions: A fool will shop on with the guts without adequate regard for the coolest judgment and analysis of the suggestions. A fool may additionally shop on with solely the analysis of great judgment with none regard for the thoughts of the guts. that's a clever guy who enables the guts and suggestions to marry. the two come to a unified decision wherein the two the guts and suggestions are in contract. that's a adventure made in heaven.