Serious puns galore!?

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

When chemists die, they barium.

I swear, jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray. He's a seasoned veteran.

My friend is addicted to brake fluid. He can stop any time.

How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.

Stayed up all night wondering where the sun was...then it dawned on me.

A girl recognized me from the vegan club, but I don't think I've met herbivore.

I was reading a book about anti-gravity, and I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about a dictionary. It was a play on words.

The doctor's record said I had Type A blood, but it was a Type O.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

PMS jokes are NOT funny. Period.

The Indians were here first because they had reservations.

Got a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory today. Hope there is no pop quiz.

Energizer Bunny Arrested: Charged with Battery.

I really didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Best way to make Holy Water is to boil the Hell out of it.

Cataloged a dinosaur who had an extensive vocabulary. It was a thesaurus.

If you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

If a clock is still hungry, it goes back four seconds.

The baseball was getting larger, and I had no idea why. Then it hit me.

Broken pencils are pointless.