How will I know if I'm really a lesbian?

Question

Ever since I could remember I had these attractions towards girls. As a young girl I've kissed a lot of girls. But, the difference back than, I couldn't see myself with a female. Like in a serious relationship. The older I got the more I saw myself being together with a female. Even being married to one. 


Just recently I experienced something with a lesbian stud. I was drunk (well acted like it) and we kissed and hold hands and kept flirting. When all of this was going on, I was very confused and I asked her about my sexuality. She told me I was bisexual since I had sex with a guy but also told me soon I will know. and now she has a girlfriend. :/ 


-I don't get it. She came on to me first. Do lesbians just mess around with "straight girls" and don't take them seriously cause they're afraid.

-P.S.S I'm not questioning my sexuality because of that night with the stud. I have always felt this way she just made it come out more. and now she has a girl :/

-I think I'm bi-sexual tho. ( a true one)

Shug · Accepted Answer

No, lesbians do not just mess around with straight girls, but you are not straight either. It sounds like you are conflicted about social roles as opposed to sexual roles. If you kissed girls when you were younger, and can see yourself married to a woman, then you are a lesbian. It does not matter that you sleep with me, because your sexuality is not determined by who you sleep with, it is determined by who you want to sleep with, who you dream of being with, and for you,,,I believe that would be a female.

reme_1 · Answer

Is there a fake bisexual? lol
If you are attracted to both men and women you are bisexual.
If you are into men with just curiosity for other women, you are bi curious. 
If you see yourself with another woman, married to another woman why are you considering yourself bisexual?
If you are so serious about women, where do men belong in your life? 
if you are now longer interested in men, it was probably because you were on the journey to finding your authentic self-- a lesbian. 
You need to figure out what you want in your life. 
We don't all figure it out at thesame age, same time, in the same way,
(I was a late bloomer. Back  THEN girls got married so even tho I didn't care for guys I got married. It was not a greatsuccess. When I was 26 I fell for my first women and realized why everything was "off" in my life. Got out of that marriage and lived my authnetic life, never looking back.)
HUGS from a senior lesbian

Yarn Freak · Answer

From the sounds of it, unless you are attracted to men as well, you are most likely a lesbian. You didn't talk much about your feelings towards men, but keep in mind that bisexual is as valid of a sexual orientation as any. For a while in your life, you may find yourself in a state of questioning, but eventually you will figure out who you are. I think if you look deep down into your feelings, and how you could see yourself with a man or a woman, you will understand what sexual orientation you are. It might take a while to get out of a state of questioning, but eventually you will know what it is you like.

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How will I know if I'm really a lesbian?

3 Answers