How does one reassure themself they're not totally unattractive to the opposite gender? -_-?

Question

I will acknowledge this is a strange question. I think I'm having a bit of 'down-day' today :( perhaps I'm seeking some comforting words as opposed to a generic 'answer' :'D 

I've 16 and I've never had a boyfriend. Never. Unless you count a 'boyfriend' at four years of age and a 'boyfriend' at six years of age (he was my boyfriend for an hour, I think...it was never quite confirmed XD) as having had 'boyfriends'. Throughout high school, I was single, and looked over (probably regarded as "ugly", too) by the lads, and consistently b**ched about by both the girls AND lads. Needless to say, this knocked my confidence and self-esteem somewhat.

I was reminded quite depressingly of my relationship-less state on having to stand next to, for ten minutes straight, my best friend being groped and made out with by her boyfriend. Not to mention constant interruption, while I was trying to talk to her, from him snogging her and fondling her. That was rather embarrassing >.<

Anyhoo! I try to remember that I get...how to phrase it...'admired' (looked at or stared at) sometimes by men aged 18+. From their cars -_- . Or while I'm doing the weekly shop with my mum >.> 

But then I remember, it's all very well to say to myself, " You get looked at! You're not that bad!" but I've never been able to say, " Someone genuinely has a crush on you. Someone wants to be with YOU." Never. Nope. Nada. Nein. Noooo! X'( I'm sure nobody has ever had a crush on me. The boys I liked in high school would like some other girl.

 Men I find attractive when out and about don't give me a second glance...so I end up feeling I'm never going to be good enough for someone I find physically attractive (if that makes any sense :s). It's come to the point, where if I see a physically appealing guy, I think immediately, " Oh. They don't like me. I'm a dark haired, mixed race, small boobed, large tooshie-d, short, shy girl. They want a blonde, blue eyed, big boobed, skinny, really confident girl. Don't even entertain the idea of them liking me." XD

How can I overcome this feeling of not being remotely appealing? I have my confident days where I'm happy in myself...then other days, like today, I think- " Nobody would touch me with a barge pole. I'll go buy twenty cats and live the life of a spinster. Men I like don't like me." XD 

Dearie me. Someone help me stop wallowing in self pity XD it's so pathetic! XD If anyone would be willing to help me out here...I'd appreciate it :) xx thank you xx

Ollie · Accepted Answer

Hey there, I kind of feel your pain :)

In my school days I had the worst few months of my life - family and personal issues spawned into depression and I lost all my self worth and conidence.

But that's passed now and as I went to college I gained a whole new attitude to life. Now I try to regard myself and everyone else as unique, beautiful individuals.

Even if you don't know it, you're a unique and intellectual being; you're yourself and being yourself is what you're best at. If people dont appreciate that, then screw them. Someone will soon come around who loves you and respects you for who you are, even though it sounds sooo cliche.

There is no one else like you in the world, so don't be down. Act confident and have self-worth and this will radiate and vibrate from you. People will then definetely notice this. I mean even if you saw someone that was really cute but looked mopey and shy, would you really want to talk to that person? Or would you rather talk to the vibrant, smiling, extrovert cute person next to them?

One way i mentally boost my confidence is by listening to feel good songs about how life doesn't always have to be mopey and depressing, and about how you should just get up on out there and live your life how you want. Music like that puts me in the frame of mind that i'm worthy and makes me confident. Music is so cool and powerful in that sense. 

I really hope I've helped, please feel free to message me if you want more advice, peace <3

randomheart707 · Answer

Wahhhh i'm a loserrrr too i'm crazy short weird and yahh ... Loll well I mean I get hit on but i'm too crazy for people like when I go out somewhere i'm just a ***** to guys then later i'm likee why did I do that wtf is wrong with me I think i'm mental for instance this week I told everyone boys with blond hair and blue eyes are ugly as fudge and I would never date them what happens I get hit on by blone hair blue eye bimbos this one at the gas station was okay but he looked like a hoodlem so I was like ewww and he kept chasing me around this little gas station being like hey hey hey and i'm going in every isle to hide then the next day my mom wanted some food at this la granja place and this blonde hair blue eye biskit starts making the moves on me in front of my mom I had to act immachure I made this mean face at that hotti hot guy and was like beat it of course it doesn't stop him so I walk away I really thought he was cute but I don't know how to express these things i'm really shy I go into defense mean I despise you mode if anyone hits on me my mom is now trying to give that guy my number ewww sigh:/// its embaressing when you're mom tries to hook you up the boy was coot I think you're pretty but you're just too shy like me to be able to date I think my problems is when I was a little kid I was veryy small and invisible and I grew up kind of whatever and now when I go places people try to talk to me but i'm simply afraid and I don't know how to react but hide away you should just build forts and act like a kid its what I do I suppose i'm stuck in a childhood time warp i'm like peter pan a child who never grew up i'm pathetic and really mean to boys and Ican't stop they do everything all wrong-.-!!!!

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How does one reassure themself they're not totally unattractive to the opposite gender? -_-?

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