What do you think of my first draft for my movie review? Comments are welcome :)?

The review, as a representation of your personal feelings towards the film, has merit. However, I have some questions and ideas about this.

The suspension of disbelief: this is what makes people believe that what is on screen is actually happening, no matter how ridiculous it might seem. You mention parts where the character couldn't have actually done what she did or that parts seemed absurd. If you think about it, all fiction film is absurd to one degree or another. So it is tricky in reviews to talk about how unrealistic something is because... well... it's all a bit unrealistic. But if there are moments in the film that are so absurd that we, as an audience, get pulled out of the story telling and say, "Ok, this is a movie with sets, stuntmen, and re-writes," and the filmmakers don't want you to get pulled out of the experience, you should definitely point that out (there are discussions to be had about satire, parody, and medium specificity that could be had if the filmmaker wants to jolt the audience out of the cinematic experience, but this is not the place).

Comparison and contrast: Comparing movies is fine and useful in a review. However, you compare and reference a couple of movies and a TV show. The review can get bogged down in comparing how this one movie A is like movies B and C, and then contrasting what makes movies B and C great over movie A. It starts to seem like an advertisement for either movie B or C, and it robs you of an opportunity to express the weaknesses in movie A.

Charitable viewing: You don't have to like a movie, you might even think a movie is mediocre, disappointing, or just plain bad. But something to always keep in mind is that hundreds of people worked on that movie. They nurtured it, cared for it, maybe even gave blood, sweat, and tears for that movie. People exceptionally good at their craft tried to create something with a mind towards showing it to others for judgment. So when writing a review it does well to consider the time and effort put into a picture, not just from the director, writer(s), director of photography, and producers. But also the grips, the electricians, the make-up girls, the unpaid production assistants who happily woke up at 3:00 am to fetch coffee, make phone calls, and act as human sandbags for light stands for twelve hours, before going to a part time job, so they could afford their rent AND be so blessed as to get to work on a film set. And we come full circle, again, it doesn't mean you have to love every movie... you can passionately dislike a movie, but there were plenty of people who loved that movie desperately. And it does well to recall those people to ensure your review is a formalistic critique and doesn't become a mud raking opportunity to belittle a project.

***(I don't feel like your review is mean spirited at all, but I know that the tempation to marginalize a movie as the very best or the very worst is a big one).

In general you reviewed this movie based on their personal feelings and experiences. It's Negative.

“Opinions are like armpits – everyone has them and some of them stink,” so the old adage goes. This phrase rings doubly true when it comes to movie critics and their reviews of films.

Hi, I think your review sounds pretty good, but I am no expert. I would suggest you post your review on Movie-Blogger.com It is a movie review community full of movie reviewers likr yourself who will be better qualified and happy to give you some feedback on your review,

I haven't seen the film, but it was indeed a very well written review