What was the funniest thing you've ever said to a person - Real Life, not made up!?

she invited me to her baby's shower,she didn't tell us she adopted a new dog,on entering the dog growled at us showing teeth like these, looking at us with one eye open one eye close,then i said 'why u so mean today sweety,she closed his mouth and said 'no he's real nice that's just the way he says hi' i said "wow i wouldn't like to see how he says bye".

Hahahahaaaa 22 and 11 are hilarious. I did some thing similar to #7, as a substitute of 'ding' I said 'arrival'. Also did anything similar to #four, not a handshake, just a hi with a big smile.

someone on yahoo answers asked if they were pregnant. i replied that i would personally ask a doctor, but if you want to take the advice of a complete stranger, then fine you sound pregnant to me. Source: Alice In Wonderland

My sister in laws boyfriend says I'm his wife. My reply..."I can barley handle the husband I have now, besides you seem like too much work." Now every time I see him, I call him my wife.

I was really ill but managed to say to a friend : "you look like I feel"!

Me and my friend were arguing over stuff and I said, "You won't even live long enough to die!" (true story gang)