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Lv 4
? asked in Society & CultureHolidaysRamadan · 8 years ago

Hijabis (and others): What do you do if a man touches you?

I work retail, and every once in a while a customer will touch me. Not in a sexual way or anything. It's just that I don't touch men, so any time one touches me it bothers me greatly, especially if they touch me in the mid-section. (That has happened a few times.) Sometimes I say "Don't touch me," but sometimes I don't, because I know that if I do, I will explode on the guy, and I don't want to get in trouble for yelling at a customer. So my question is - how should I handle such a situation?

Update:

@khlilou - You are very rude. I pray that some day you will learn that words hurt. They didn't hurt me, because I have a pretty thick skin thanks to the Marine Corps. (Yes, I am a Marine. Watch who you're talking to, son.) But some people are sensitive, and you could hurt someone with what you say.

To a few others: I am not talking about someone accidentally bumping into me. Sometimes when a customer passes me, he will put his hand on my side, which makes me very uncomfortable. I don't want a man touching me anywhere, but I understand if it is accidental. You can't tell me that a man placing his hand on my waist for a couple seconds is an accident.

And since some asked - no, I am not Muslim. I am Christian. I do follow very similar principles of modesty that Muslims do in what I say, do, and wear. But, frankly, I don't understand why knowing that should change the answer. Either way I am a woman who doesn't want to be touched by men.

13 Answers

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  • Salam It is okay if some people who touch you all are women. But if sometimes you meet men you must just nodded to them and tell them politely that based on religion you are not allowed to touch and be touched by a male that is not related to u. if it was an accident, it won't count as a sin so don't cause a scene when it's not needed, and If someone is repeatedly touching you, kindly tell them to stop (just tell them in a nice way, listen I don't want to be rude but please don't touch me. Insahallah they will understand), or show it in your body language by moving back.

  • 8 years ago

    I work in retail also. I have not been touched that is wasn't accidentally bump or they did it on purpose. You should say "please don't touch me, it makes me uncomfortable". If you hear a hijab, they do it to see what you will do. Out of rudeness. That is why someone asked if you were Muslim. You were in the Marines?! Bless you! Be tough with them. (not physically of course)

  • 8 years ago

    Salam It is okay if some people who touch you all are women.But if sometimes you meet men you must just nodded to them and tell them politely that based on religion you are not allowed to touch and be touched by non marham If there is a chance to move to another company whose job is not ,meeting direct;y with customers you can move there. But if after saying that you still be touched by your customers you must still be calm,keep be patient and do not angry with them because they have no intention to harm you Besides that you would not be sin too insha allah.

  • 8 years ago

    I would catch the guys hand next time it happens. And move it off you then firmly but politely say "I'm not comfortable being touched please don't". You don't have to yell or be rude just quietly say it. Many guys just naturally tend to make contact and I may not have any ill intent they just don't think anything of it. If it makes you uncomfortable you need to gently, but firmly let them know. If they do it after you've asked them not to you should talk to your manager

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  • 8 years ago

    i work in retail too...and with religious and cultural values aside. customers don't have the right to touch employees...doesn't matter what gender either are. and you can address that to the customer directly or even your management. you don't necessarily have to yell or lash out at them. but it is considered inappropriate...particularly for a strange man to touch another woman. and you have every right to address that and speak out.

    this should not be considered a conflict of religious and social values. you have to understand that even hijabis whether christian or muslim..doesn't matter what faith or culture one associates with...or whether they choose to cover themselves or not... they can all feel the same discomfort your describing. and i'ts not right and you should speak up and state your opinion and get the respect that you deserve.

  • pina
    Lv 4
    5 years ago

    ?????? ????. i'm a Christian and that i placed on hijab. i began wearing headscarves with the aid of command interior the Bible in 1st Corinthians financial disaster 11, the place it says that a Christian lady could conceal her head while praying or prophesying. in the past each thing, I in basic terms wore head coverings in church or for the time of inner maximum prayer at abode. Then some years overdue, i began wearing a "prayer masking" in any respect circumstances. In public in the past each thing I wore bandannas, then tichels, and then hijab. different than for the prayer masking element of it, I specifically placed on hijab for modesty. It does supply me a liberated feeling nevertheless, and does make me sense extra committed to God.

  • 8 years ago

    I agree with NightRain. If you don't feel comfortable with the job, try and find another one. Secondly, it is not a sin upon you since he meant no harm. You can always try to tell the customers not to touch you.

    Insha'Allah your problems will be resolved:)

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    I've worked retail, A few years ago but as far as I remember we had a strictly no touching our employees policy because it can deemed threatening. I would change your body language as soon as someone touches you become very rigid and put your elbow out or your hands up abruptly. Usually people get the message. That's what I do if someone invades my personal space unexpectedly.

  • 8 years ago

    Im a dude but cant you just move. I dont think i know what you mean by non sexual

  • 8 years ago

    Its not your fault you did not intend it to happen but just try to prevent it from happening again

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