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Cancer man is making me lose my mind!! HELP!!?

Sorry this is long, but this has been a long process :) I met this guy last August at a wedding (8 months ago). We have a ton of mutual friends, so I knew who he was but I had never talked to him until then. He was staring at me all night (he is a cancer) and of course he was the very first guy I noticed as soon as I walked in (I am a Scorpio) there was an instant attraction. He never came over to talk to me so I walked over and asked him to dance. We talked all night long and we ended up hooking up that night.. I know!! not good!! Anyway we stayed in touch after the wedding but we never hung out. In the beginning he would initiate conversation and talk to me almost everyday. He was as giddy as a school girl and he would always tell me how much I made him smile. I would always ask him to hang out and he always had some excuse, maybe he was making one up or maybe he really had stuff going on I'm not sure. But we never hung out. After a month or two of just texting we finally agreed to meet one night and an hour before he was suppose to arrive to my house he backed out. I kind of yelled at him (first time ever getting cranky at him) because I was getting tired of him always making excuses not to hang. So after I yelled at him I apologized and so did he. but then I didn't hear from him for 2 months. Then out of the blue he texts me on New Years Eve and says Hey Stranger hope you had a nice Christmas, Do you have plans for tonight? I said yes and told him to enjoy his night. After New Years we texted a bit then in January I finally bit the bullet and said I'm coming to see you tonight I hope you don't have plans. A little forceful I know but I was done playing around with this guy. I didn't know why I am so drawn to him. Its like this unexplainable attraction between us or something. After I went to his house that one night things seemed to roll good then he would back off.. waayy off! and I wouldn't hear from him for weeks. I would initiate a text but it seemed like he wasn't very interested in talk to me so I stopped texting. After weeks I would hear from him. Small talk stuff. I always find myself asking him to hang out and he usually is free to hang out but he never asks me. When we are together we just lay in eachother's arms and snuggle.. joke around.. and talk about everyday life stuff. Never anything too deep. We go out to eat sometimes or get food and bring it back to his place. He always pays. One time I even cooked him dinner and he seemed to really like that. I can be pretty quite by nature and I feel like I don't open up to him enough. Its hard for me to open up to people in general but when we are together he just stares at me and he is pretty quiet too, but other times we laugh and have good conversation. Sometimes after we hang out he doesn't talk to me for weeks. Then I hear from him again. I'm ready to drop him because I can't deal with these long waiting periods of him not contacting me. I feel like I do it all the contacting. So my questions is.. Is this normal for cancer men to act this way? is he into me? or should I split? I have thought of asking him strait up if he likes me but I've hear crabs don't give straight answers. What do you think?? When we are together it is always at his house which is fine I like being there, and we act like a couple. But as soon as I leave its like I dont exist sometimes. I try to text him/call him to carry on a conversation but he is very reserved. I feel like I am totally chasing him and I dont like it but I feel like thats the only way to talk or see him.. He told me once straight out that he never asks anyone to do anything ever. BUT if he doesnt hear from me for awhile then I DO hear from him. ugh my brain is melting over this confusion. I wouldnt be so interested if he wasn't what I was looking for, minus the lack of communication. I think he likes me but its almost like he is dragging his heels for some reason.. Or am I being too pushy??

Update:

Thanks everyone for you replays. You all have given me a lot to think about. I think everyone has a lot of truth in what they posted. At this point I am going to stop contacting him. I know it will be hard but I need to move past this. I will give him the space because clearly I need the space too and if he comes around he does and if you doesn't then so be it. It's important to remember what you deserve.

20 Answers

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  • ?
    Lv 5
    8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Hi lulu85,

    Let me explain, I'm a Cancer guy too.

    Cancerian men are afraid of rejection & getting their feelings hurt,

    so they play cautious in love, hoping their hearts desire come to THEM..

    They rarely ,or WE rarely make the first move,

    but because we are emotionally attached as Cancerians,

    we feel compelled to talk if we see a potential love diminishing..

    The "lack of communication" isn't really his inability to communicate,

    from the sounds of things..he has Mercury in Cancer, like me,

    so he's a subtle & quiet guy...HOWEVER...you have to note that..

    He never makes plans with you..& whenever u do, breaks them off -

    ON PURPOSE - It's a Cancerian's manipulative tactic to see if..

    you really like him..Cancerians are very hearty people. They want a

    SURE thing..that's why we often play hard-to-get like "school girls".

    He sounds like he may also have a Cancer Moon or Cancer Venus.

    These individuals are so protective of their feelings, playing "guard"

    is how they discover who truly loves them in the long run.

    Scorpio is more assertive than Cancer, and quite frankly,

    It's on this Yahoo section that u'll learn Scorpion are meant for Crabs.

    You have to show him that you care about him DEEPLY..even though,

    you mentioned you guys talk, but never a "deep convo"..trust me..

    he's YEARNING for a "deep talk"..all cancerians are deep people.

    No, you're not being too pushy..in fact..u have to keep being like that..

    so that he eventually comes out of his crabby shell..

    As a Cancer myself, my advice is, stop "chasing" him though..

    because although that's "what he wants"...you'll only keep tiring urself

    & feeling like you're wasting your efforts & not getting anything back.

    Wait for HIM to contact YOU...& when he does..talk on a platonic level.

    That way..you'll coax em into manning up..

    Cancerians are ruled by the Moon (planet of changes),

    but don't be fooled..in thinking that they change their emotions

    the way they change their minds..NO:)..when we love..

    we love hard..so I would suggest you hang in there..

    You know what you should also do..

    pretend like he is already your boyfriend..

    because "in his mind"..he considers you his girlfriend..

    but due to his crabby nature..he won't act on it..

    for the fear of losing u.

    By pretending that he's yours already,

    you won't work yourself up so much

    when you see him ignoring or keeping distance,

    let him do his crabbily-constructed moves..

    whenever he makes these slightest move - BE LOVING..

    and then because you know now that he backs off right after contact,

    beat him to his own game...ignore him after he makes his move.

    I know it sounds complicated for an assured person like a Scorpio,

    but your Cancer needs a lot of doting on..and reassurance..

    he just needs to know you care..then he'll open up..he loves you.

    just put that in your mind..he's already urs..no 1 else is in the picture.

    Relax. He's doing what he does ON PURPOSE..he wants to see..

    where you stand, so that he can feel comfortable about liking you..

    cos we Cancerians know..that when we are fond..we are VERY fond..

    to the point of being clingy..so he's trying to protect himself from

    unrequited love..you just have to pet your little crab on the shoulders..

    so that he knows he's with an "equal partner"..just play level with him

    Source(s): he fell in love with you right after you guys hooked up too.. so don't feel bad about the fast frolicking.. he felt what you felt..
  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    1

  • 5 years ago

    If anyone tells you to act like you're happy without her, don't. If you want her back you need to grovel.

    Read here https://tr.im/t8rxg

    Do something romantic. Nobody does that anymore. Leave flowers at her door. Write her a letter, and put it in her mailbox or with the flowers or something.

    If you really love her that much, get her back.

    I would say other than just pouring your heart out, all you can do is move on. But don't ignore her, don't put on a front... Or you will never have her back.

    No guarantee that grovelling will work, but if you really want her, and you're already unhappy what else could go wrong? You don't have anything to lose.

    I grovelled to a guy I loved. We were in so deep that we nearly hated each other. I grovelled so hard that I was crying. And we were together for maybe a week or two, and then he left town. Life's cruel.

    But you have to live the heck out of it. The things that you will remember are the things you pour your heart and soul into.

  • 6 years ago

    I dont know the answer, but I wish I did, this is what Im going through right now!

    So, I met this Cancer man one night about a month ago, it was an instant attraction for both of us, drinking was involved and it turned into a one night stand, he took my number in the morning but didnt give me his, I also didnt ask, So the next night he knew I was DJing at the place we met the night before, he came in talked to me seen I was busy and didnt stay long, I got his number from a mutual friend the next day and text him and told him that he didnt even say goodbye, he said he couldnt find me, when he was leaving, anyway, hes a conductor on a railroad works an hour 1/2 from the area we are in and he works 24hr shifts so his time is limited, even texting if hard for him when hes working, he gets about one day off a week, so anyway when he gets home he usually texts me and talks for a bit, sees what Im doing, asked me to come over one night and cuddle and I couldnt go, anyway last night he called I met him, another one night stand, but he slept in this morning got up, hung out with me for a bit and then he had to go home, but he kissed me before he left, which he didnt do on our first one night stand, so Im curious as to if it meant anything or if he was just being polite? There is definitely a strong physical attraction between us. I also don't chase him, I make him come to me, and he does. Help.. LOL

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  • 8 years ago

    Im going to have to agree with Kate. Im a cancer female and when I was single I'd do what he's doing to all the men that were just a booty call to me or just a fling. I'd ignore them and if they would contact me I'd choose weather I wanted to see them or not there for he's not taking serious. Im sorry doll, When im into someone because im really interested im on them 24/7 I like to keep,contact through out the day and spend Time when possible with them. I would never disappear for 2 months a week or even a day because I'd fear losing that someone. Even if I know I could get possibly rejected or hurt I put my all In trying..You see I said ”trying” an effort to meet you at least half way or even more. Im dating a cancer man right now since day one that we met he calls me texts me all day long and we make the effort to see eachother no matter how busy we get. He calls me during his lunch and at the end of the night to talk and finally say goodnight. I also reciprocate the same because he's more to me than just sex im taking him serious he's not a fling to me or booty call I want to give him my full attention just as he gives it to me. So I'd say to put your feelings first and move on regardless the zodiac sign if a man really wants any women he will see her worth and know it's not going to be easy and pursue her.

    Source(s): Cancer
  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    You want to get your ex back? You found your way to this article, so chances are pretty good, you are looking for relationship advice that will help you get your ex back!

    Have you found anything worthwhile yet? Probably not.

    Was there cheating involved? Either you or your ex? You don't have to tell me, but there is more to what happened than the cheating. You want to get your relationship back to where it was in the beginning?

    Do you remember when you used to look at each other and smile? What happened to those days? I will help you get them back! There really is nothing more important in this world than love. Think about it. Is it really that important that the dog peed on the carpet. Does that make the world stop revolving? Is it bad enough to ruin your whole day? Of course not! It also is no reason to yell, scream, or rant at your significant other either.

    I can't tell you how many times I have heard couples arguing over the stupidest things in the world! Dishes, garbage, where they had dinner last, whose mother is worse, which one doesn't like the others mother. Does this stuff really matter in the long run? No, it really doesn't!

    Discover how to get your head back on straight. Discover the secret to the "Stockholm Syndrome" (why hostages bond with their captors) All of this will help you get your ex back.

    Get the relationship advice that you need to get things back together. Get your life back in order, and be happy! Over 5100 people have taken this relationship advice and have put happiness back into their lives. It will cost you less than a trip to your shrink, and you will probably be less aggravated!

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  • 6 years ago

    This Site Might Help You.

    RE:

    Cancer man is making me lose my mind!! HELP!!?

    Sorry this is long, but this has been a long process :) I met this guy last August at a wedding (8 months ago). We have a ton of mutual friends, so I knew who he was but I had never talked to him until then. He was staring at me all night (he is a cancer) and of course he was the very first guy I...

    Source(s): cancer man making lose mind help: https://tr.im/EDTMy
  • 8 years ago

    He knows you are too interested that's why he does not bother too much. I know it's hard to be away from a cancer guy, especially when you are so confused, i know it's a awful feeling bcos I've been there and done that... But you need to be away from him for you both, him and mainly you. The Cancer guy should really contact you if he was interested. Stay away from him and move on, he will still be part of your life..Bcos I know he will think of you at some point. The feelings there because he payed for you and stares at you. He needs space so the feelings could grow. He needs space away from you and make his mind up. He need to figure out how he feels about you. eventually he will realise that he does actually miss you. if you attentive and polite to him most of the time then he will. Cancer do come across hard on the outer shell, but they want things that is good for them and want people as possessions. another thing is don't do things to make him jealous and say things that make him feel insecure

    when you yelled at him he contacted you after 2 months because you scared him and it was an excuse for him to text you at new years. Be you and move on, focus on your self and find ways to improve your self. Cancer men appreciate women who look after themselves , he will come back at some point. :)

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/FT7kf

    Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.

    The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.

    Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.

  • 5 years ago

    Cancerian Man

  • ?
    Lv 4
    5 years ago

    The first thing to do is to let all your emotions out. Surely, if you want to get your ex-girl or boyfriend back, he or she means a lot to you then you must love her/him, very much, so you are hurt badly. Well, shout let it all out! Do not be afraid to cry if I want to. Perhaps you want to have a smoke or a drink even if you never did before? Well, it won't do you any harm. Just don't fall into hard drinking, because that way you will never have a chance to get your ex back.

    If you wish to visit to know more about..(Getting Back With Your Ex) you can do that here

    https://tinyurl.im/vGrMT

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