Am I the only one who sees marriage, kids and a mortgage as a trap?

To answer your question directly _ NO. you are not the only one.

However you do paint an over simplistic and general view of the world. There are many different ways that one can earn a living, one can be married and have no kids if you wish. You can live a frugal lifestyle that doesn't need a large income. People in less fortunate countries would swap places with you in the blink of an eye.

For instance in parts of africa - you are born, have no education, are hungry and struggle to feed yourself, then you starve, then you die.

You are wrong that most people want the path You describe, so many people have meaningful worthwhile jobs that they derive much satisfaction from and also help others. eg doctors, nurses, firemen, teachers, farmers, charity workers, sports coaches, pilots, i could go on and on and on.......

First of all, its all about perspective and OBVIOUSLY you have a very jaded perspective on family, marriage and kids. You're not alone, a lot of people feel this way and its often due to growing up in a dysfunctional family atmosphere with unhappy parents. I'll start with your first premise on the college degree and job. If you determine before even entering college what you're passionate about as a person, and what YOU value, NOT what society thinks you should value, then you can get an exciting degree which will allow you to get a good paying job doing something you ACTUALLY LOVE DOING (I have this). Of course working 9 to 5 behind a desk and a cubicle isn't attractive or alluring to ANYBODY, but it doesn't have to be that way. As far as a home and mortgage, people become "trapped" as you say in this regard when they purchase a home and mortgage that's ABOVE their means. If you (and your spouse) make enough money to pay your mortgage every month on time, all other bills, go out and have fun/entertainment, take regular vacations AND still bank some for the future, then how is a mortgage trapping you? And as far as children, if you see them as financial obligations, rather than and extension of the love you have for your spouse, and extra people in your life to love, then either you're really young, or you're just not the parenting type (and that's ok because not everyone is). And if you and your wife earn a decent living and budget properly, it will reduce the arguments over finances significantly. My wife and I RARELY argue over money. I know the life you consider "ho hum" isn't for everyone, but you've essentially reduced every positive thing about that life into a negative. I don't know what you consider a better or more exciting life but lets say for instance yours is traveling all over the world, dating many different women and never settling down and never having kids. Sounds fun huh? But how about the fact that you'll NEVER feel grounded or like you have a place that's your own. You'll never have that special person in your life that you can share your hopes, dreams, goals, joys, pains and fears with. In fact, you can't even count on that person to really be there for you AT ALL when you need them most because they aren't "yours". You won't have the joy of watching a baby you've created grow, kiss your cheek and tell you they love you, learn to tie their shoes, read, write, ride a bike, go on their first date, go to high school prom, get married and start their own life. You see how I quickly made the alternative look just as bad as the picture you've painted? Its all about perspective and what YOU as an individual value in life.

I'm not having kids or getting married, don't know about the mortgage. If you want to own property and you're not a millionaire or you got no parents to inherit from, how else are you going to get it? But then maybe it isn't worth getting?

1. Sort of agree. A lot of college degrees put you in no better of a position than when they didn't have one. A degree in certain subjects like physics or law can be really useful. Gives you loads of options and probably a high salary. You say it won't give you any adventure or meaning in life, that's true, but if you looked for that in your job, you wouldn't have one. I sometimes work 7 days a week, 10 hours a day (a lot of which is overtime)... At least I can have the satisfaction of knowing I have a fat wage coming in at the end of the week.

2. Mortgage set up so you can't pay it back? Even if you don't, you're living in a half decent home.

3. Agree mostly. Children suck, it's best to have them if you have a high salary. I certainly couldn't provide for one.

5. That's not always the case... But yeah that sure does suck for those it happens to. I hope you've got a better plan for yoursel...

Okay, so you figured it out. The society won't get it's ugly clutches on you. Now what are you gonna do about it? Don't waste your time trying to explain this to friends and family. They are probably too well indoctrinated to be saved. release them to their destinies and get yourself ready to become one of the lucky few. Society needs the masses under it's control so it can flourish. It doesn't need you. You are the fish that "got away". Now, you've just freed up the next 40 years of your life. What are you going to do with them. Do you want go to Disneyland? Probably not. Do you want to start an orphanage in the Philippines? Probably not. What do you want to do? The world has just opened up and said " I'm waiting, come over and take a big bite". Think about it. Take your time. You've already reached a point in your young life that few ever reach. You are aware of "the world". The next step is become "self aware". That is to say that you understand who you are and what you want..This can be a tough one, but I have confidence in you since you have already showed so much promise... Look deep down into the vast expanse called your heart and see if you can locate someone..they might not be recognizable at first, but they will recognize you. Get to know this person, it will be well worth the time. They will tell you all about those wondrous things called dreams, and which ones are special just to you. After this, you will be on your way to all that the world has to offer, all the things that so few take advantage of. The stuff of true happiness and contentment..

This is what condoms, abortion and stem cell research are for.

I'm still studying and I already have absolutely nothing from my life and hate every moment of it's slavery.

I wonder if anyone is happy at all, especially given that in today's society we produce more than we need, because some people can produce enough for everyone else. That means other people are obsolete before given a chance to prove themselves at all.

The society will have to change because it's spiralling into a world where nobody has any time for anything at all.

Even if you get rich and don't have to do a damn thing in your life any more you're feel horrible if some newbie took your place in the company and drove the company to the ground.

On the other hand, you have people that know nobody needs them so they just look busy, but aren't really useful to society. I call them 'leeches', because they cheat on exams to get jobs they aren't capable of doing from people that worked honestly out of truer responsibility for society.

In my country we have some guy that got an award for a significant achievement in science. He now works as a garbage man and that's not even remotely an isolated case.

If society rewards hard work, it should reward it fairly. At the very least, we know half the people are redundant and all our needs could be satisfied by people sharing their jobs so each works half as much.

With better, more moral and more fair organization we could achieve just as much without sapping ourselves of life.

We are in this together whether we like it or not.

However, after this lengthy text I imagine I too will feel helpless in making that a reality. If only we didn't age, than working hard to achieve progress would make more sense.

I think that everything you have said might prove to be true, but it is only one facet of the truth. One hundred and fifty years ago Thoreau wrote "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them." The way to avoid the pointlessness of the dance is to not allow the prescribed steps to be the only ones you take. Sing your song, even if no one is listening. Especially if no one is listening. The scenario you have set out is a distinct possibility, but it becomes reality only if it is allowed to be. If you are fortunate to be with a partner who fulfills you, and vice versa, then the emptiness you describe will never materialize. The difficulties still may, especially if you have children, but as one who has passed through middle age I can tell you with absolute certainty that the sacrifices are well worth it. I have learned that nothing is as important or rewarding as raising children who will in turn will continue to perfect the vital affliction known as life. If you are blessed with the companionship of a loving partner then whatever you do with your life will be both successful and fulfilling, no matter how difficult. If you don't find such a being then much of your scenario need not take place at all. Thoreau never married nor had children and as a result he lived the life he chose, simple and focused on what would bring him joy. I retired several years ago, my children are happy and self-sufficient and I spend my time as I chose, singing my song to the emptiness, sometimes hearing the echo. Best wishes.

Marriage, kids and material things are the prescribed bundle of happiness, however much it happens to bring. People could go 'adventuring' as you put it, but I think they're scared of what they will or won't find. I talk to my parents about this and they regret being mortgage slaves. They have a nice house and the big yard, but we still grew up what others would consider poor and couldn't afford necessities at times due to being strapped into everything, credit card debt, unnecessary things from when they were first starting out. I don't think people make themselves unhappy following this formula, but trying to live beyond their means they do.

Have you heard of those tiny houses? I wish they were legal, but you're house has to be a certain size to be on a lot, which is bs and more proof that we're being conditioned to be greedy.

Children do cost money, but when they're not being bratty they can bring joy...Plus, people want someone to be there on their death bed and go on passing their ideals, life philosophies and genetics down when they're gone.

Cats and Ants.

You can't herd cats. You can't tell them what to do. Nature has primed them to be able to survive by themselves without a 'system' or 'society' that they belong to.

Ants, on the other hand, have a strict social order where the good of the colony trumps any sense of individuality. You're a soldier, a worker or a queen. Shut up and obey.

Now which creature do humans most resemble... cats or ants?

The funny thing is, humans can be both. Human civilisation has always found room for the loner individualist as well as the collectivist. It always has and it always will.

So if you don't want to get an office job and a mortgage then don't, brah.

Under this Big Sky, there's room for every school of thought.

Finally ONE SANE HUMAN on this planet!!! I couldn't agree more with you my friend. I am so happy somebody else and not just me can also SEE what is really going on. It's all b/c of social pressure. We are being brainwashed since the day we are born. Very few of us ESCAPE.

You really MADE MY DAY!!! Thank you for Existing!!!! (Of course if your parents didn't want kids you would not be here now to make me so happy!!!) But anyway I feel like hugging and kissing you for being so smart. It's so rare to see people think like you.

X X X X X X X X X :-)

I have already figured all that out myself. I have known it's all a rat race, useless, and meaningless, a willing surrender to slavery. That's why I decided when I was a teenager to never marry, have kids, or a job.

I am now 40, single, childless and unemployed by choice. I am FREE!!! I am definitely a CAT, not an ant (this goes to the other poster!).

Look at my question, it is relevant to yours

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Aqwg7...

The meaning of life is man made by each individual. It can be based on what one really wants and needs and on society's dictates and I think in reality is a mixture of the two. The utterly amazing evolution of man is predicated on social behaviors. Society is our greatest tool as a species. Through the interaction we learn language (lost first generation if not taught by other humans), family units with associated customs to protect them, and countless other behaviors that have helped to evolve us at the rate we have.

At the same time and equally as relevant, it's been the man thinking to the sound of his own inner desire that makes incredible advances for our species. Yet that man wouldn't exist without society. The jist is your life is whatever you want it to be and will be what you focus on. You are a product of an evolution focused on meeting the needs of social and biological life, and you wouldn't even be able to sit around questioning the meaning of life without the societal aspects. Evolution has created a species who can sometimes consciously create meaning through the satisfaction of needs. What this means is nature is designed in such a way that meeting needs is the purpose of life for the ultimate goal of life. You can meet your needs any way you want. You aren't outside of nature, and nothing about any of our various needs is unnatural. (When suppressed they can seem unnatural.) Nothing is in opposition to you but yourself. Do what you have to to be quiet and figure out what you want and need and go be god lolz.