Revenge poem will you C/C this one please?

Even forgiving the spelling mistakes, I have to say that Wordsworth has already done it - and better, sickly though his poem is.

Daffodils don't "rise and fall among the wood" - they don't usually grow in woodland - that's bluebells. And they couldn't send "crackling golden flames across every leafy vein" unless they were blooming in the Autumn... And there is no way that you could see a million daffodils under a single tree from your window. There is such a thing as "poetic licence" - but you cannot stretch it this far.

Daffodils are my favourite flowers. To see them put into a poem which requires asterisks actually makes me mad. Have you actually ever smelled a daffodil? It smells of almonds. Have you ever actually seen a whole field of them, blowing in the wind? They are wonderful, cheerful, gentle flowers which have no connection with swearwords.

If I were you, I'd give up writing poetry, if daffs make you feel like that.

Carole, you know I admire your writing so I hope you aren't offended when I offer you this copy with spelling errors corrected.

Sitting alone in the window

I stare out in delight

for beneath the grandeur of a tree

I see a wonderful sight

a million yellow Daffodils

all throwing their sun-kissed shadows

that rise and fall among the wood

crackling golden flames across every leafy vein

this was an image of the flower that brightened up my inward eye

God, I could really do with out those open-mouth Bad ***** flowers

Giving me bliss and solitude ..

Give me back my garden of weeds to simplify my mind

Funny, No one else seems to have noticed that it's the shadows that rise and fall, not the daffodils.

Very Nice Poem !

I was away and returned late last night

I opened my window this morning

To catch the first light

And i saw this wonderful sight

The poem reads and shines

A million yellow Daffodils

All crackling golden flames across

on the screen brightened up my inward eyes

Giving me bliss and solitude .

Caz this is pure, full of a kind of purposeful chaos that is your signature as a poet. It's almost a primal thing, the way it emotes is sincere and perhaps slightly over the heads of some who feel the need to say, oh I know it all I am a 'oublished poet...anyone can be a dang published poet these days but to state that like that person up yhere di and to presume thay KnOW what a posm is means they dont get it.

Maybe a critique needs to wander to this site for information on daffodils and the family they belong to plus their range. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissus_(plant)

As to your poem, yes, you did take some poetic license but what I get from the poem is that you are not use to the beauty, only the weeds. A nice metaphor for life and its ups and downs. Do you need use: "bad a s s e d?" Might be another phrase that implies what you are saying without the jarring jolt.

An ugly and chaotic garden of weeds ---> a simplified mind ---> the inherent tranquility of not having to behold the majesty of bliss and solitude?!?

Weeds = i/I; might of/might have; with out/without; no/know; would of/would've/would have; Being/being; , No one/. No one; ...

Emily Dickinson could get away with those "weeds", the rest of us can't.

.

Oh dear! Never ever thought 'bliss and solitude' could disturb someone so much!!! LOL.

I know 'beauty' could tire some...and simplicity is what mind craves after a while, though. You started soaring off beautifully...and then in one stroke of '*****' you brought things down to 'earth'! :)

A successful attempt, I must say!

Lovely! You make a bunch of daffodils seem like a bunch of naughty schoolgirls who have strayed where they shouldn't! A loud, brash yellow does seem to be loud mouthed! : )

And yes, sometimes weeds sometimes seem quieter as they creep about the garden floor without the dramatic showbiz of flashy flowers...I know, I've left weeds with tiny star flowers to wander in my Mum's garden just because they seemed pretty just doing their own thing.

caz

Good very. Poem entertaining. Own her each to.

This is understand don't I thing only the: serenity and simplicity

add weeds do how. It get don't I. A-rse the in pain a are and

crazy like spread weeds.

Solitude and bliss obtain were you happy am I. Thing important

most the is that.

Congrats

_______________________________________________________

Does `published` in this poem of multifarious floral splendour strewn

through the ballooning mind, mean,

`Lives in the pub`?`

caz, you have confused moi.

I was ruminating, chewing over the genus of daffs being a kindof narcissus

what`d account for the overwhelming number under yer windersill...

theyare a triffly-doodoo likely to dominate the perceptual apparatus..

I`d go for a couple o` millionand blow ya mind altogether

if yer going to take poetic licence on garden leave?

I like your numinous `burning-bush` radiant reference a kind of old new flame.

Baby Bio for Plant Perfection...k?

I hope you don`t mind my experimenting on you wiv long werds....

it is my shadow.......forever jung....deffo a bad*ss.

Has all that unweeded-out brilliance double-spacrd-out thou :/?

O well, we luv U... when you`s yellowed by age and wizdum we will too.