Why do I still love him?

So me and my ex broke up nearly 2 years ago and We ended on bad terms ( he got a gf 2 days after we spilt and that broke me) he was my first love, my first everything, hell we were even engaged and he was living with me at one point then we broke up and he seemed very happy after we broke up with the new girl way more happy than he seemed with me. He was with her for more one than he was with me.. He contacted me just recently saying he was sorry for how he was when we broke up he told me he never loved the girl he was with just cared for her he said he had no place to live nd was offered to live at his ex gf house (they spilt she cheated on him nd he moved to another city) nd said he was miserable living there nd worst time of his life according to him but why must he tell me I'm the only one he has ever loved after all these times? I'm really confused and I don't know what to do cuz we both don't want to get bak together nd I can't be his friend either but Im so confused.. I had convinced myself all these times that he never really loved me nd I was doing fine now I'm just lost at his words to me.. And I was his first love first everything he also told me that we had pretty good memories nd he remembers every little detail of our relationship nd told me that he doesn't remember crud of his last relationship. Please help..?!?'