Fiance cheated again? Please help!?

just break it up dude.

It's more than apparent that your fiance has a lot of growing up to do. Additionally, he has a lot of issues. As a person with an addictive personality, 12 steps would have cautioned him not to indulge in drugs, alcohol, or excessive sex. He uses the excuse that alcohol played the part in him cheating on you both times--this is a serious red flag for your future.

I'm sorry to say that this relationship was not meant for the long haul, I think you have both stayed in it because you were comfortable and have a longstanding history together. I have a motto that when people show you who they are with their actions, you need to believe them. He's shown you that while he may not be a liar (he does get points for telling you the truth), he is unstable, an alcoholic in the making, unfaithful, lacks self control, good judgement, wisdom, and honor. This is no person to build a life and family with. Your fiance most likely does love you, but he loves him self more than your relationship. Please get out of the relationship before you look back over your life and regret the time that you have wasted. You can get over him, you can't regain lost time, energy, or momentum in your life.

Your situation is not conducive to a healthy long term relationship, his excuse for being unfaithful to you is pitiful and you shouldn't accept it if you have any self respect. You've been there for him through thick and thin, I'm sure you have sexual desires and urges too everybody does, but that never makes cheating okay. How will you ever trust him? If you even do make it through this long distance part of your relationship you're not going to be able to forget what he's done in a hurry. What's going to happen when you're together properly? Will you be expected to perform sexually to his standards when he requires it or risk him deciding to fulfill his needs with another woman behind your back?

If he's sleeping with other girls when you've both been together for as many years as you have and he's proposed to you, chances are the behavior will continue, because obviously the fact you're supposed to be in love with one another isn't enough to deter him from cheating. To me that suggests a lack of respect, and a lack of appreciation for what he has. An assumption that it will always be there, no matter what.

Nobody can tell you what to do in a situation like this because only you know yourself, are you happy to settle for a man who may possibly cheat on you all your life? Or do you think you deserve better than that? I think you probably do. Good luck with everything.

See if he'll transfer to your college or vise versa. If that's not feasable, I say you two should break up. If it's meant to be you'll get back together someday. You can still talk and stay in touch, but don't be with him physically while he is going through this. It's understandable that it's hard for him to keep it in his pants, especially given the college lifestyle, but it's going to tear you apart putting up with infidelity and always worrying about what he is doing... and if he can't stop drinking and learn to control himself, he will just stop telling you because it probably hurts him to see you upset.

He's probably not going to like it because I think he does love you, but if he won't come to your school where you can be there for him and he can't quit drinking and buckle down then there is no other answer.

Every time you take him back you are giving him permission to do it again. You need to tell him that you need a break and that you are going to date other men and he needs to date other women during that time. If after a year or so he still wants to get back together then you can think about it, but when you do you need to make it clear that if you take him back he does not have your permission to cheat again for any reason and if he does you will leave him faster than anything he has ever seen.

I'm sorry to be so harsh, but his excuse is bull****! I understand things can be stressful and sex drive is there, but its an excuse and a lie and he knows alcohol makes it worse?... than why does he continue to drink. I honestly would never be able to trust him. By you staying with him and continually forgiving him, you're non verbally saying "its ok, no biggie". Dont do that to yourself. Take care of yourself honey, you honestly deserve better. It wont be easy, but it will be worth it.

YOU have been in a committed relationship for nine years. HE has been a serial cheater. If you give him another chance, you'll be giving him another chance to cheat on you again. Stop wasting your time.

sounds like he has some wild oats to spread. maybe take a break and see if hes still wants to be together when the distance is not a problem anymore. you can date other people at the same time and see if you really want to be with him.

Fool me once shame on me...you know the rest.

I don't think he really wants to be with you. Obviously he feels suffocated by the relationship and wants to meet other people. It's not just cheating I think, he just wants to move on. Meeting someone early doesn't mean anything, in my opinion.

Take a break. If you are engaged and he is still cheating he will probably cheat if you marry him. He loves you, but is just not ready to commit.

you get him wearing your panties,,once he does his mind will be on pleasing you and only you,,he will wanna keep wearing panties and will do anything for your approval to keep wearing panties,,pls you,ll have the greatest sex of your life,,and you,ll never have to worry about him screwing around if he,s wearing panties 24/7