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Jealous sibling trying to ruin my life?!?!?

I am a 26 year old female. I have no debt. I have a nice new car. I have a decent full time job. I have money to go shopping. My bills are paid. I have a 34 year old brother who has no job or money. He doesn't even attempt to find a job. He is very lazy and looks for free handouts. He always has an excuse. He has a pity party. He lost his job a few years ago. He has a vehicle but the tabs on it expired so it sits at the house. His license expired so I had to give him money to renew it. He never has money but somehow always manages to have a beer and a pack of cigarettes. He sold everything our late father owned and has nothing to show for it. He often demands to use my car and for me to give him money. He often makes rude remarks when I go out shopping or when I have money. He tells me "It must be nice to have money!" I tell him "It is nice, and I have it because I work hard for it!" My mother babies him and asks me to help him. Why help someone who isn't willing to help themselves?!?! I was in a hard place in my life before but I got back on top and no one helped me but myself!!!! He is so jealous and hateful and spiteful towards me because I am successful and he isn't. I try to tell him success is something you have to work for and he too could have it if he applied himself. He doesn't listen. I am so sick and tired of coming home everyday from work and listening to him cry baby and demand my vehicle and my money!!!! I am so sick and tired of my mother babying and enabling him. She doesn't seem to understand that she's doing more damage than good. Yes, I have a child who lives there too. Yes, I do help out around the house too unlike my brother. What should I do about this? Is this a common or uncommon thing? Is it a mental condition? I seriously think he's starting to lose it if you ask me.

4 Answers

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  • Favorite Answer

    Well you have your life together it's normal that he feels jealous.

    Although i think your mother is the one who set him for failure. He could have a mental illness or he could not have it. You never know. But he just sounds to damn lazy. If he really wanted to change and become someone in life he would ask you for help and take him to a psychologist but he doesn't so that makes me believe he is just taking advantage of you while he can. But then again he could be stuck because he use to being everything handed to him.

    Girl, you work so much that my suggestion is MOVE OUT. You will be much happier. Or if you can't join something that keep you busy so you don't have to see him so much.

    Sadly since he is 34 years old he might end up homeless or you helping him out.

    Sit down with your mother and talk about HIS future. What will happen when she is gone? You will soon have a family and can't take care of him forever. Make your mother understand the consequences of this.

  • Anama
    Lv 7
    8 years ago

    Sounds like he is depressed. Your mom obviously doesn't know what to do about the situation and just wants to make it go away... Every time he asks for something simply tell him you do not go to work every day to give him your car, money, etc. You already have a child and do not need another one.

    At this point it might be time for you to find another place to live so you do not have to deal with this daily or ever again... You are a grown woman with a child, time to find your own place.

  • 8 years ago

    First, Congrats on getting back on top after a rough patch! :) I think you should move out if you can afford to. If you can't, then stay. Whether you stay or move out, stop giving him $ & letting him use your car. That $ would be better spent on your child because he IS your dependent. :) I don't any of this is mental & idk whether or not it's common. I do know that jealousy is difficult to deal with when you're the receiver. I have an older sister who is a jealous person & I was on the receiving end of it for years until I cut her out of my life last year after something horrible she did to me that hurt terribly. Do what's best for your child & yourself.

    Source(s): Experience
  • 8 years ago

    Just say no.

    Tell him you're not putting up with his ****.

    That, or move far far away.

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