Should you ever ask for a gift back?

Question

I was reading a Dear Abby letter and the person and their partner bought the partner's mother "a beautiful diamond cocktail ring for Mother's Day." She's now 84 and when she passes on, this person wants the ring back to have it turned into a ring for the partner. The person thinks it's a gesture that would please him and his mother as well.  She plans to leave her jewelry to her granddaughter but this person believes the ring will mean so much for her son.  This person thinks the granddaughter will probably pawn or sell it anyway.  Abby thinks it's okay to at least ask as do many of the commenters but I think it's tacky.  I'm of the belief that you never give a gift and then ask for it back.  I think it's poor etiquette.  The commenter could save their money and buy the partner a new ring.

Antst · Accepted Answer

I'm surprised that Abby thinks this would be OK.  It is never OK to ask for a gift back.  Even when we think we have a good reason to ask.  At the time a gift is given, it is OK to say "if you're ever done with it and want to get rid of it, I'd love it if you'd offer it to me."

Also, although it is OK to talk with elderly relatives about their wills, medical care, and other arrangements, it is rude to discuss how luxury possessions will be divided up.  This is something that could make an older person feel like everyone is waiting for her/him to kick the bucket so that they can all dive in and start grabbing items.

Anonymous · Answer

complex subject. look in google and yahoo. it may help!

? · Answer

You never ask for a gift back.

You're also not supposed to ask about what sort of inheritance you're going to get.

Anonymous · Answer

Ummm... No. It would be rude and offend the person u gave it to

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Should you ever ask for a gift back?

4 Answers