How long is too long for an engagement?

There are no rules. If 3-5 years is good for both of you, then that's how long it should be. It's no one else's business.

The reason so many people say it's silly is because it's usually done for the wrong reasons. For example, if you don't plan to marry for 4-5 years, what does the engagement bring you that you don't already have? There's just no good answer to this. Is it about having a nice ring and someone you can call fiance? Is it because one or both of you feels more secure using this term to describe the relationship? (This is called a "stake his claim" ring). Is it about telling the world you love each other? If so, why does this matter?

The point here is that when people get engaged, in most cases they are ready (financially, emotionally, mentally) to BE married and the process of planning the wedding has begun. If the engagement takes place for any other reason, it needs to be one that makes sense, because you'll be asked about it.

Anything more than a year is usually too long.

Unless you are emotionally, physically, spiritually and financially ready to get married THAT DAY, don't bother getting engaged. I'm not saying you have to have the money in the bank for a huge 200 person wedding the second you get engaged, but if you still have years of your life left to live and tons of stuff to prepare before actually getting married - it's not worth it.

Actually being married is so much better than being engaged. Don't waste your time on the in-between stage. Do it right.

If you are both in college I'm assuming you are between 19-21 correct? I think that is a normal engagement time for people of that age. I wouldn't rush into anything. Typically, the older people are when they meet the faster they get married (for children purposes). The average man gets married at 27 and the average woman gets married at 25. Just food for though.

My wife and I got married a year after we met, but I was also 26 and she was 24

An additional comment: I wouldn't make a public engagement until 12-18 months before you are actually married even though the two of you may already know you are going to get married. It could be a personal engagement. The other poster is right. You only publicly announce an engagement when you are ready to actually start planning the wedding. Choosing bridesmaids, church, who is invited, etc.

You have been together for four years.

How long have the two of you been living together?

You think that by waiting another 3-5 years you can still wear the white dress ??????

Go to the courthouse and get it over with. Stop pretending you are the "bride" we all dreamed of in fourth grade. You are well into your life together as a couple. "Waiting until" the planets align just right is silly.

Do you think any of your family or friends don't consider you two married already????

It is your relationship and if that is what you are comfortable with waiting which is smart to wait until both of you are graduated then do it. If you wanted to wait until you are closer to that point that would be ok too.

I think it's pointless. Unless you are actively planning a wedding -- nobody is going to care if you call yourselves "engaged".

I think anything more than 2 years is too long.

5 yrs. should be fine, actually....