Adoption vs. Abortion?

It's a personal choice.

I wanted to parent but was coerced into surrendering. Knowing from personal experience how devastating adoption is (I suffer with severe depression, have been suicidal, and have self harmed) I would abort over surrendering but I should have been supported in my choice to parent.

You may be fine with surrendering but you don't know until you do it. You may even change your mind after having your baby.

Abortion Vs Adoption

Adoption Vs Abortion

Wow, your mom has no right to say that to you! It's your decision, not hers. I think what you are doing is quite UNselfish. I did not have the strength to go through that when I got pregnant. I have never regretted my abortion, but every woman's circumstance is different- I have always told my girlfriends who found themselves in this situation, if you don't feel right about abortion, DON'T DO IT. There are women who are torn apart with guilt for the rest of their lives after an abortion, and no one deserves that. If you feel better about carrying on with this pregnancy, then this is the right decision for you and your mom's opinion doesn't matter at all.

From what I understand though, giving your child up for adoption is the hardest thing a woman can ever do. Don't make your decision until you see your baby. If you are pre-matched with an adoptive couple, you may change your mind at the point where it is too late. If you do decide to parent, there are many resources for single mothers, including government aid and even scholarships if you choose to go back to school. This is your baby, and only you can decide what is best for the both of you. Good luck.

I really don't think that MEN (ahem, international Dave) have any business speaking about abortion or pregnancy, since you will never experience or fully understand either situation. Maybe you should let those of us who have been through it give advice.

@frockney, I am not infertile. And men do not have the right to tell a woman what to do with their bodies when it comes to pregnancy and childbirth, as they will NEVER experience it themselves.

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RE:

Adoption vs. Abortion?

I chose to keep my baby and consider adoption instead od going through with an abortion. My mom called me cold hearted for considering adoption for my baby even though my sister has had 3 abortions including the one she had about a week ago and all my mom said about that was that she isn't...

I am proud of you. I am pro-choice, and have done it all. I have a 5 year old son who is mine and wonderful. I have 3 year old daughter, who has two mommies and is, again, wonderful. And if i hadn't had the abortion i'd have a 7 year old boy as well.

You are doing what YOU felt was right. Your mother can NOT make the decision for you. Her opinion is not gospel, and for her to have said that to you is heinous. But, she, like you or i, has a right to say whatever she will. Even if what comes out of her mouth isn't worth your time to listen to it.

Some children are meant to be here, some are not. It is up to us mothers to decide. And it's a heavy burden. Your mother chose to make sure you lived. And now here you are, bringing in another beautiful woman into the world. The family you chose will be spectacular no matter if it seems no one is good enough for her.

My daughter is amazing, and her family are the reason she has a chance to speak 3 different languages at her age (she's 3, keep in mind). On top of that, she reads at a 3rd grade level. I know that the difference between her and my son is the way they're being raised. Adoptive families are just more financially equipped typically, and it makes having the child raised right more likely.

Just remember:

You are an amazing, strong woman. What ever you chose is what's right.

I think some people rationalize abortion as your pregnant and then you aren't (no harm no foul) and then with adoption, you are giving away your own flesh and blood, how could you do that?

I gave up my first born in 1972. Abortion was illegal and I have no idea if I would have had an abortion, as it was, I gave my daughter away and wished her back for the next 29 1/2 years and then I found her. Giving her up gave me a life time of pain.

You can only do what you think is right. For you it's giving your child up, for your sister it's using abortion as birth control and that makes me ill. Not good. You should point out that the morning after pill is cheaper than abortion.

I just want to say, I know all the thumbs down are coming, and don't care. People seem to think it's okay to kill an innocent child just because the time isn't right for them. It IS a child regardless of what anyone says, not just a blob of cells or whatever they call it to make it easier for them to abort. If the pregnancy tests are positive, it means a BABY is on the way.

That being said, I think you are the complete opposite of cold hearted. That would be someone who didn't care about their child's life. Keeping it to raise or placing for adoption is your choice. Either is great and much better than the alternative.

You are a WONDERFUL person to give that baby a chance.

You are NOT cold hearted or selfish. You have made the right decision. Your sister is the selfish one for taking the lives of her children simply because they are an inconvenience for her.

If you would like my advice on whether or not to give your daughter up for adoption, then I think you should keep her. You are clearly a very loving person so there is no reason why you couldn't be a great mother. Please don't feel that you're not good enough. A baby is a big responsibility but it's exactly the same for every new parent. She won't be better off with strangers, the best place for any child is with their mother.

I think choosing life is always best. But your Mom does not agree with you. You have to realize that this won't be the last thing you do that she won't agree with. That's just how it works. What is important here is what you think. Choosing to parent or give up for adoption is a tough choice. Parenting is tough. You just have to do what you think is right. A few years from now, will you wonder if you choose the right thing. Probably, but you just have to hold fast that you did what you thought was best. And maturity and age and life experience may give you thoughts of how you could have handled things differently. Find somewhere or someone who will be there for you. Some one who will give you the emotional support you need as you decide what step to take next and lets you choose it.