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How to Deal with Self Righteous People? Long Explination.?
I love my best friend/ roommate. He's very mature, very caring, and I have massive amounts of respect for him. But, I often get frustrated by his self righteous attitude. He claims he doesn't want to impose his beliefs and ideals on others, but that is exactly what he does. He spends almost all waking hours dedicated to personal growth, which isn't bad, but the sources he uses have turned him into a robot. He has tunnel vision, and his intelligence mixed with these ideologies and religious beliefs have made him difficult. He rarely admits he's wrong, he doesn't respect the person I am, and he tries to come off as a sage or wise man at all times. It gets tiring when jokes turn into debates on ideals, or he passively attacks my points of view. He tends to act like he knows best, and he fails to take many things about people into consideration when passing judgement. I want personal growth, but the more I follow his ways of the thinking the emptier I feel, and it's sapping my creativity. I just can't stand the person he has become, or the person he is trying to convince me to be.
In short, he's a good person, he has a kind heart, and he is an appealing individual, but he wants to be the ideal image of success, a religious servant, and a wise individual. The issue is that he is obsessive and despite all the books on success and garnering an understanding of others, he seems to know very little about how different people function different ways, and he is more often than not belittling others for not being what he views as ideal. Too often I get lectured like a child for getting stressed out or not having his mentality about how I handle things. He doesn't see his flaws, and when others see through him he has a million excuses and pulls these lengthy discussions on how he is o complex that he decides when to withhold information. He just can't admit he is just as flawed as the rest of us.
All of this culminates in frustration and annoyance.
How can I handle this?
Exactly, Howdy Mom! He's a magnetic person, and he knows how to walk the walk and talk the talk to the right people, but he doesn't seem real to me. They don't live with him, so they don't fall to his scrutiny, or his "God will find a way" attitude. They don't have to deal with him. Because I choose to be creative, and I don't waste my youth on get rich quick schemes, or trying to change every aspect of my thinking in order to be successful, I'm wrong. He's just enamored by the ideas of financial freedom, and these books on leaving a legacy and being perfect that he fills his head with trash. If just positive thought made you a millionaire, I'm sure a lot more people would be rich. He just can't handle the fact that things are out of our control at time, and that even the hardest workers don't get far in life. He basically has an answer for all of life's problems, and he comes off as a pseudo intellectual at the rate he spouts o
3 Answers
- Anonymous8 years ago
Well, first off, this guy is wound up pretty tight..one day his springs are going to pop out of his pointy little head. Sure, his high & mighty ideas are interesting; maybe enigmatic. However, does he live in the real world? Sounds kind of like he is intellectualizing his entire existence. You must be a very patient friend. Make sure you spend plenty of your precious time with people who have different ideas to round things out. He will probably balk at this, but you may be doing him the biggest favor of his life.....there is never just one perspective on anything-good to remember. I just eant you to consider this one last thing--I think he is full of ****;+))
Source(s): Just guessing - ?Lv 44 years ago
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- ?Lv 78 years ago
Actually, it doesn't sound like he's a good person. He sounds like a pretentious, narcissistic douchebag.
Anyone who professes to be all about "personal growth" is really just saying "I want to be better than you".
How to handle it? Tell him that until he achieves the perfection he seeks, you'll be hanging out with the rest of us imperfect people and having a lovely time, thanks.