How do you handle people who haven't RSVP'd to a party invitation or have said "Maybe"?

For this instance I'd send out a very brief, very firm but reasonably light-hearted final notice. Say that RSVPs are due by X date and that anyone who has not sent an RSVP or has responded with a "maybe" will be considered a refusal.

In the future -- this just came to me and I think it's good -- all invitations with RSVPs should be sent with a description of the general area where the party will be held BUT NOT THE ACTUAL ADDRESS and an explanation that the address will be sent only to those who RSVP in the positive. It would solve the problem of people showing up after not sending an RSVP!

Best of luck!

I really like Dolly's response, except that I think it's much too close now to the actual date of the event. Her suggested wording for an email would be *perfect* for sending out to non-responders and "maybes" a week *before* the RSVP deadline.

But at this late date, long past the RSVP deadline, you really do need to give final numbers to the place you've booked. I'd be tempted to assume they're not coming, EXCEPT you then run the risk of them showing up anyway, with not enough places for them to sit and possibly not enough food.

In the same position you are (except it was for her wedding), my cousin last year had no time nor inclination to telephone people who hadn't RSVP'd by the deadline. She waited one more week (in case some of the cards got tripped up in the mails). She then sent out an email to the non-responders that read: "Just wanted to say we're sorry you can't make it to our wedding, but we'll be sure to share photos with you afterwards. Best to you, 'Rachel and Jacob' " She immediately heard from several invitees who insisted they WERE coming, but they lost the Reply Card, or their dog ate it, or any number of other (lame) excuses. Anyway, that email gave the bride her final count.

It's a pity that people are so rude about RSVP's these days. But, I don't think it's right for you or any other host to have to go to extreme lengths to track down people who were honoured to be invited in the first place. Good luck, and Happy Anniversary!

If they are family, you can call them without a problem. If some of them aren't all that close, like your mother's aunt or something, ask some closer relative to check. In any case, if you added a RSVP to the invitation you can always call to check. That is your prerogative. If they are NOT family or close AND if you didn't include an RSVP, you can still call, but in that case you should explain your concerns while asking for a confirmation.

Write another e-mail or text message if you still have time to prepare for more guests. I would say something like this :

As you know our special day is around the corner and we would like to have all our friends and family members celebrate it with us! However, it is understandable that some of you might have busy schedules or are unable to make it due to various other reasons. So, this is a friendly reminder for you to send me your last minute RSVP before May XXX as I am almost done with our final arrangements.

We would like all our guests to have a pleasant and wonderful experience and so, your prompt response would allow me to do preparations for an awesome party! For those who are unable to attend, we thank you for your friendship and kindness throughout the years and you will definitely be missed!

As far as maybes are concerned, I think an e-mail like this would make it clear that you would not be able to accommodate anymore people after the final "deadline" ( I am not sure what your situation is- whether you have booked a place). Maybe you can make extra arrangements for people that show up just in case!

Happy Anniversary!

Haven Party Invitation

Wow...and actual etiquette question and not some teen asking about if a boy or girls likes them or not.

I would say to wait until you have about 7 days before the event and count how many of these ambiguous 'replies you have. Assuming most all of your total invitations would be in by then you can either choose to just add a few more to the tally on the chance they will show, or you can do as suggested already and contact them with the proviso that if you do not hear back from them you will assume they have other plans. And then whomever does not respond within however many days you deem appropriate for this, then simply subtract that number off the total.

People should have the simple, common courtesy to at least respond to these. There is great time and expense associated with events like this.

If you do not hear back from some of these rude people, I would suggest they be considered to be on the do-not-invite list for future events.

Good luck....hope it all works out for everyone!

how about that does indicate that people actually DO NOT WANT to come to your event? they did not rsvp - they re not coming. and they consider u too insignificant to waste time on contacting u if they re not coming. the same goes about maybies - people just do not want to be rude, so they re trying to give u a slide softly. what can u do? book only the places for those who rsvped.

ps. and the idea of not giving the exact address or time of the event in the invitation mail is a very good idea - those who did not confirm will not show up messing up your plans. happy anniversary

At some point, you gotta quit running after people and give the caterer a number. If you have heard nothing from people by the time that number has to be given to the caterer, it is appropriate to assume they are a NO. For those who have given you a maybe, they should be a NO as well. It sounds like you have given them plenty of time to ensure that their calendars are either full or clear and if they have the funds to make the trip. The closer they wait until the date, the more expensive plane tickets will be too.

Send text alerting them that if they don't give firm answer by a certain date then you can't include them. Don't be rude just say it's a seating issue.