What counts as molestation? Are recovered memories valid?

I have a friend who says she vaguely remembers being hurt as a little girl.

She mentioned some memories coming back a few months ago, but we only talked about it again last week.

She doesn't know if what happened was considered molestation:

Here is what absolutely happened:

Her uncle, who was drunk (as always), told her to lie down and spoon with him. She wouldn't, but he coerced her into it by saying something like: "what's wrong? Is uncle mean? Is uncle scary? Is uncle stinky?"

He had his hand on her rump and was moving it back and forth. I think he also had his leg between hers.

He told her to lay on his "butt" and squeezed her head between his legs, he was laughing.

He did run his hands up and down her legs and *maybe even* she thinks on her genital area (while she was clothed).

This is one thing she's confused about, she says. She doesn't know if that was just him messing around or if he was using her for pleasure.

This is where memories get sketchy. These were "recovered" on her own but she doesn't know (nor do I) if these actually happened:

Digital penetration

Fondling

Maybe even child rape

She remembers the first two very vaguely, that's why she doesn't trust them. The last she assumed was possible because of the nightmares she had/has.

She also refuses to get therapy.

She had nightmares about rape and digital penetration before she even knew what sex was. She's always had weird dreams, so at first, neither of us really thought anything of it until she started getting concerned.

She doesn't trust men.

She *says* she played really sexually with her pets as a kid in very much adult ways. This was still before she "knew" about sex.

I don't know what to tell her. I've looked online and she fits the profile for someone who was molested:

Fear of sex

Nightmares of rape/molestation

Extreme sexual play as a child

Eating disorders

Distrust of men

Sexual confusion

Low self esteem

Signs of PTSD

Fear of dark

What do you think happened?