I miss him but I don't want to be with him?

Question

I took my ex back recently ( silly I know , but I was missing him and the companionship )

Anyway after just 4 days I had had enough as he was worse than ever ( he has ALOT of problems )

He is not in a healthy place and I don't think he actually ever will be which is why I can't be with him as he would just drag me down and make me miserable

Having trouble over the past few days with just missing him even knowing I can't be with him for my own happiness sake

I have been having a hard time in my life too and have been having difficulties which is probably why I felt I needed his support and companionship as I only really started missing him when I was down about things ( and then he turns up out of the blue and we get back together which I unfortunately soon regretted )

I like to be real and DEAL with things ( he 'deals' with things by using alcohol and drugs ) and I know its normal to miss someone after getting really close to them again but I just need someone to TELL me it's normal , because I don't think I will feel this way in a while as time heals things and once my life gets back on track I probably won't feel this way or miss him at all to be honest

( I'm sorry but it's not a constructive relationship , but more of a destructive one which is why I cannot be with him any more )

I just wanna stop missing him but I can't seem to at the moment and need to know that once I perk up again and tackle and resolve the personal problems I am having that I will be FINE

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It's just a habit that you need to break. Spend more time with friends and family. Get busy doing something so you can take your mind off him. It's normal to miss him and the companionship, but like you said, it's a destructive relationship. No good will come out of it.

Lauren Marie · Answer

it is completely normal that you feel the way you do. I mean you obviously have history with the dude... and its alright to reminisce over the memories... but when you pin point all of the bad things (like you just did) you make it seem like there are a lot of cons to the situation. one thing I can promise you, is if you move on with you life and just eliminate him- you will find new passions, maybe even a good guy. but the ones who do drugs and use those as a crutch are the worthless pieces of **** you have to get rid of. you'll be alright. just take it one day at a time:)

? · Answer

Then keep your mind off of him as he has to find his own resolutions. If he isn't willing to change himself for the relationship because it is giving off a negative impression. Then it is not worth you getting hurt more than you should for the problems he faces that he isn't willing to resolve for himself. You probably have attempted to help him in the past, but if he is not willing to accept help. Then he is lost within himself. Until he can see what disasters and a slow spiraling end to himself, he is slowing drowning in his fate.

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I miss him but I don't want to be with him?

3 Answers