chandra

My back garden gets NO sun , the sun is at the front of the house , have checked all the time since I moved in but TODAY for the first time I have got some sunshine in about one third of the back garden

Does it go through some slight rotations over the spring and summer which means I may get some MORE sun out the back later in the year?

I was surprised and happy today when I saw some sunshine on 1/3rd of the back garden for once!!! :-)

It has been going on for a while now but her drinking got much worse after 2 bereavements in the space of a week ( her Uncle & Nan on her Dads side )

She also had a recent problem with bullying by a girl in her area who has already beat her up once but the police are not treating it seriously as the threats made are 'her word against the girls' but I have been staying with her pretty much all the time since March firstly to help her through the bereavements which she took pretty bad & then the bulling incident which is ongoing so we are looking to move her out of the area

She hit the drink BAD after the bereavements & then again recently but she has a 6 year old boy with special needs which she does find stressful in itself as a single Mum BUT the worrying thing is his needs are not met when she is drinking so social services are involved & the current situation is if she relapses I HAVE to be there to see to my Grandsons needs

Problem is it gets too much for me at times supporting her , looking after her on her 4 day binges + looking after my Grandson & TRYING to look after myself and she has begun hiding bottles and lying to my face & I feel I cannot even be around her and simply keep WATCHING her drinking , then sober , then drinking again , then sober and it seems it will never end & she has been hospitalized today as is feeling suicidal but am scared she will blag her way home & then nothing will change! :-(

I met a guy today who honestly seemed interested in me , his face lit up when he saw me and he was asking me a lot of questions about my background and my life and even asked me if I could cook

There wouldn't be an opportunity to meet again but I thought he would ask for my number as he did seem interested...

Do guys sometimes just ''bottle it'' and not ask?

He got a little bit flustered and shook my hand , said ''it was nice to meet you'' then scarpered lol

The only reason I am confused is he seemed genuinely interested , but obviously not as he did not take the opportunity to see me again

Thank you for those who supported me and answered my other question :-)

I have another question

WHY would someone post on Facebook ( my daughters friend ) the following ;

''What an amazing start to 2014 , my 2 boys and engaged to the man of my dreams!''

.........When the guy beats her black and blue???

Often , and continually - I mean would you REALLY describe him as the ''man of your dreams''

Is it that she ENJOYS being beaten and gets off on it? ( serious question! ) Please do not be offended , she is in the sex industry and gets off on kinky rough sex

Or is she just DELUSIONAL to his faults and blinded by 'love'

Or is it just that she wants to PAINT A PICTURE TO THE WORLD of everything being pretty and wonderful in her life when it actually SUCKS

And WHY would she agree to marry a guy who beats her???

Sorry , it gets confusing , as I have had some 'failed' relationships myself with guys who are knob heads but even when I was with them I would never describe them as the man of my dreams or agree to marry them because I KNEW WHAT THEY WERE LIKE , obviously , it was staring me in the face! I was in a relationship with them , but do people want to paint a picture of everything being perfect when it's not even though those around them know it's not? xx

Am REALLY upset at the moment

My daughter and I have fallen out badly over her current fiance who I dislike

I know it is her choice and decision

I have backed off completely now , the stress was affecting me badly

I just feel so sad , upset and very concerned for her :-(

He has 6 children with 5 different women

He is awaiting sentencing for assault on one of his exes which he got found guilty of but he says he did not do it and his ex is making it up

He has already been to prison for assaulting his schizophrenic brother

He is not respectful to my daughter or myself

He is extremely manipulative yet charming and seems to be able to pull the wool over peoples eyes without them realising

He has no money , my daughter pays for most things including treats like hotel stays , meals out , drinks etc and he just walks in & eats off all the Christmas food I bought for my family without asking and he contributed nothing as all his money goes on his kids and his own personal bills as he does not live with my daughter and does not seem to want to

She seemed to have the idea about getting engaged and married and the engagement happened very quickly , no ring bought for her 'as yet' , no enthusiasm from him about the wedding at all

They were previously friends for 6 years after having a brief relationship 6 years ago & both had moved on but got back together recently at at time when my daughter was vunerable and needed someone and some support and companionship and did not want to be alone

I am concerned for her on many levels but also for my Grandson who has special needs as she is a ( usually BRILLIANT ) single Mum to him but her behaviour has changed recently as there is A LOT of STRESS in the relationship

My daughter has been drinking heavily etc since being with him , hardly eats and has become aggravated with my Grandson way more than usual

I am scared , angry , concerned and upset that this guy has now come between myself and my daughter and he does not even deserve her!!!

I am hoping she will see sense of course as I have not even listed ALL the traits and problems with this relationship but SHE is the one who is suffering , not him , and it has affected the wider family now too

Help please!

She has asked me to accept him but I can't and I told her why , she has enough stress in her life already and I help out as much as I can but this guy has ADDED tons of stress to her life ( and she was having bad panic attacks all day on boxing day ) but she still seems excited about the wedding which she keeps bringing forward as seems desperate to get married as her sister is settled down with husband and child and another on the way

Her sister did not even guess there were any problems and she thought he was an angel for some reason

I just want my daughter back as she is not even her usual self anymore and I have never seen her in this much of a state and I have never disapproved of any of her other boyfriends , only this one , unsurprisingly but she does not seem to see it as she 'loves' him!

I hope my question makes sense??? lol

My sister liked a comment I made on one of my friends Facebook page but she is not friends with them

Would it have showed up in her news feed somehow?

Can everyone see the comments I make on my friends pages even if they are not friends with them?

It baffled me but I don't want everyone seeing what I write on my friends Facebook pages if they are not friends with them...

HOW did that happen even?

Please answer!!!

Oh dear , I honestly didn't MEAN to , I am just concerned about her...

She and her husband have been on a tight budget for many years and it has been hard for them

We had a phone chat yesterday and she told me she is going to have a tin of tuna with pasta for dinner

I know there is nothing wrong with that but it is all she had in the house and she had no herbs or spices to add to it and she told me she would not be able to get any for a week or so

Her husband has a job now so I thought things had improved for them as they often had no food in the house before when he was a student

It hurts me to think of them struggling but I think it has become the norm for them somehow and they survive on very little food sometimes eg very cheap tinned stuff

I know times are hard and things are hard for many but FOOD is important and I was hoping they would be able to afford better food now like chicken and fresh fish and veg etc which are cheapest in the outdoor markets or frozen fish etc from Iceland ( UK )

I am just CONCERNED about her as it does not have to be the finest steak but I would love her to eat NICE food and enjoy it rather than basic survival stuff and her husbands job wage will probably steadily remain the same so things may not improve

I expressed my concerns to her via Facebook message when we were both on it as she has been on my mind for a couple of days and I wanted to help

Obviously it is a sensitive subject and I didn't want to offend her but I think I DID as she ignored my message and did not reply like she normally would :-(

I am HOPING she realised I expressed my concerns because I CARE and I honestly thought things had improved now her husband is working and I want the best for her , but seems things are pretty much the same as before and not set to change and I can lend her money if she needs it but will probably struggle to pay it back

A part of me is upset because I don't feel she is being ''looked after'' and she cannot work due to health problems , she gets a little bit of DLA but she said she is going to spend it on food but what is her husband doing about the food budget??? :-(

I did not ask her that of course I just told her I was a bit worried about the lack of food in the house :-( xx

WHAT CAN YOU DO???

This is the 3rd year it has been happening and on just day 2 of the new term my Grandson has been bitten on his leg by another child at his special needs school

I know the other child cannot help it etc BUT I refuse to keep sending him to school to be injured by other children

The school seems to think it goes with the territory and I am supposed to accept it?

But I have had ENOUGH now and I cannot accept it any longer but do not know what to do :-( :-( :-(

I feel like a fool for going out with him in the first place , but was not aware he had a drinking problem at first

It got steadily worse , he is in denial , doesn't make sense when he's drunk and gets abusive but clingy

I met up with him at the bar yesterday he works in ( not the best job for him but there is an obvious reason he likes working there , being surrounded by alcohol all the time ) as it was the owners Birthday & he wanted me to come along

I was HOPING we could have a simple good night out together as couples do but from the minute I got there ( he was already drunk ) I found he was being disrespectful to me and way too clingy and all over me in front of everyone which I did not like so I told him so

He was being boisterous and treating me like one of the lads and even grabbed me in a ruddy head lock after which I walked out to go home

We talked and he apologised and said he would treat me better the rest of the night and it improved a bit but I still had to keep telling him if he stepped out of line by eg grabbing my bum in front of everyone which I HATE as I find it really disrespectful & even his friends told him off for how he was treating me & talking to me & I think one of them even warned him he would lose me if he carried on!

He was trying to get me jealous about some girl who liked him but I told him I didn't give a sh*t ( I don't like game playing )

Things escalated when he ran out of money after buying me 2 ciders and spending the rest on himself! lol

He kept asking his friends to buy him a drink & there was an air of desperation about him

His boss bought me a shot & I sip shots as can't seem to knock them back & I took 1 sip of it , put it down & in an instant the twerp who was supposed to be some sort of boyfriend to me grabbed it and knocked it back in an instant without even asking me!!!

To say I was peeved is an understatement & it escalated quickly into an argument in front of his friends & he told me to p*ss off out of HIS bar ( yeah , right )

I was leaving anyway but he followed me and stooped so low as to ask for the money back he spent on my 2 drinks for the night ..... I just said something unpleasant to him and got on my bus and had already told him in front of everyone that I NEVER want to see him again & he just shouted out some very nasty names to me

He lies alot now & makes things up so his friends will only have his 'version' of events and he always twists things even though they saw how he was treating me and did not agree with it but he probably won't even remember what happened and I am WELL RID OF HIM , glad I spoke my mind etc but just want to know there is the possibility of meeting a NORMAL guy in the future who respects me and treats me like a real lady which is what I want not this b*llshit! lol

I took my ex back recently ( silly I know , but I was missing him and the companionship )

Anyway after just 4 days I had had enough as he was worse than ever ( he has ALOT of problems )

He is not in a healthy place and I don't think he actually ever will be which is why I can't be with him as he would just drag me down and make me miserable

Having trouble over the past few days with just missing him even knowing I can't be with him for my own happiness sake

I have been having a hard time in my life too and have been having difficulties which is probably why I felt I needed his support and companionship as I only really started missing him when I was down about things ( and then he turns up out of the blue and we get back together which I unfortunately soon regretted )

I like to be real and DEAL with things ( he 'deals' with things by using alcohol and drugs ) and I know its normal to miss someone after getting really close to them again but I just need someone to TELL me it's normal , because I don't think I will feel this way in a while as time heals things and once my life gets back on track I probably won't feel this way or miss him at all to be honest

( I'm sorry but it's not a constructive relationship , but more of a destructive one which is why I cannot be with him any more )

I just wanna stop missing him but I can't seem to at the moment and need to know that once I perk up again and tackle and resolve the personal problems I am having that I will be FINE

My daughter & I are worried as in my Grandsons school book today they said he had an ''absent moment'' for approx 10 seconds today at his special needs school

What does this MEAN???

I cannot find any info on it but presume it is a term people who work with children with special needs use??

We have just never heard of this term before and have not noticed what they have described before and they have never mentioned it happening before , so any clarification from anyone in the know would greatly help

THANK YOU! :-) x

If you did something purposely to p*ss your so called girlfriend off ( who you have been with for 3 years ) and you wanted to annoy her but she did not respond is that WORSE then if she gave some sort of reaction by text etc

In other words you did something to annoy her but she actually doesn't give a sh*t is that worse than if she responds even angrily? lol

I'm not a money grabbing person at all , just want to be treated well

My 'boyfriend' asked me to look for a cheap hotel deal so we can go away next week and I love finding bargains so looked everywhere online & found a hotel by the seaside for £24 for the both of us ( £12 each ) he said he needed a break out of London and I agreed it would do us both good and was looking forward to it

We also agreed that as I had something else I had to do on Valentines night that we would go out for a Valentines dinner on another day , so I found a cracking deal for a 2 course meal for 2 for £8 , that's just £4 each which is amazing since it included prawn starters & lamb main courses so was very happy & looking forward to our bargain dinner too...

He came round today to book it but fell asleep as soon as he got here but when he woke up he started moaning about the cost and prices of it all - I had already got us a £10 discount each on the train tickets and got just about what rock bottom bargain prices I could for everything!!!

He works extra hours and his rent is dirt cheap as he shares his room with another guy

Anyway he started moaning and said its all going to ''cost him a fortune'' and he 'forgot' he had to pay his rent on the first of the month , but he has been paying his rent on the 1st of every month for years on end so how would he forget??? lol

So he was proper moaning about the cost and I told him I was looking forward to it and lots of women wouldn't be happy about a £4 Valentines dinner but I didn't mind ( especially as I love fish / prawns & lamb! ) but he was moaning and getting reluctant to go ahead with it all EVEN THOUGH HE NEARLY BOUGHT A £34 JACKET & WAS LOOKING @ TRAINERS FOR HIMSELF ONLINE A FEW DAYS AGO , but he said he would get them next time he was here

HE wanted to go away for a nice trip , the first place I suggested cost £73 for 2 nights so I even got the trip down to just one night for £24 but that wasn't cheap enough obviously

So I decided I DIDN'T WANT TO GO WITH HIM ANYWAY as had put up with alot of **** already as have a major problem he was supposed to be helping cheer me up with but he wasn't actually anyway and I just changed my mind about EVERYTHING including being with HIM

Anyway , he wanted to go ahead with the £8 for 2 dinner but I said NO as I didn't want to go anymore anyway since he was moaning about it & he stormed out which is fine coz I don't want to be with him anyway

So ladies , how do you feel about proper stingy men??? I don't want a posh restaurant with champagne and caviar but to have him moan about a £4 Valentines dinner & a very cheap trip away which would have cost less than the trainers & jacket it makes me resentful because he was supposed to be looking forward to it , supposed to love me , and supposed to want to spend some quality time with the woman he loves even though it was on the cheap which I didn't mind at all

I got the cheapest prices possible and he was STILL moaning , and I do events and he gets free entry and free drinks which suits him well and I just get a packet of crisps from him on the way home when at least when I'm on my own I get myself chicken and chips and I hear other girls even get a KEBAB!!! LOL ;-)

He is a smoker like myself but he was resenting giving me a few of his fags when he visited so he stopped bringing his fags round and would buy them for himself on the way home! I needed a lighter today as have none in the house so was going to ask him to get me one but got nervous about it so was going to ask him to buy me a box of matches instead!!

I am pretty skint and smoke roll ups so it was nice to have a proper cigarette occasionally together and sometimes I don't think he would care if I was starving hungry and had no food in the house even though he works in a restaurant and gets free food to bring home whenever he likes but never brings me any and only did so on 2 occasions when he first met me when he was trying to impress me lol

I think its a ruddy joke personally - I just want the normal things and kindness is a lovely quality and I had already got him his Valentines card and present but he hasn't even THOUGHT about mine SO HE HAD TO GO and ''I love you'' don't crack it if he does nothing for me from his heart!

P.S His presents are going on Ebay :-) lol it is a bit hurtful though coz he makes me feel like I am worth nothing when I am worth WAY more than a £4 Valentines dinner and a Travelodge type hotel or a box of matches or a packet of crisps after a free night out! ( and he's got money for jackets and trainers for himself )

Ok it MUST be UNLAWFUL of course but she is very upset of course that after falling out with a ''friend'' the EX friend called my daughters son a 'spastic' just because he has special needs ie Autism

This must of course be against the law in the UK?

She wants to take the girl to court but was wondering what sort of sentence the girl would get as she has all the evidence on text

Thanks , please would you answer this as urgent as we know it is against the law but we don't know what sort of punishment is usually handed out regarding this sort of thing???

Am having a SERIOUSLY difficult time at the moment and need my boyfriends support but he isn't exactly always understanding as he sees any sort of depression etc as a WEAKNESS when it is actually perfectly NORMAL under the circumstances

So we had an argument about something yesterday & he accused me of turning potty because of the HERBAL tablets I was on and I must admit I was a bit scared to tell him I was on them as knew it would give him ammunition if we fell out as he despises any sort of medication that is prescribed for nerves etc even though he is a nervous / often stressed person himself but won't admit it

The tablets are GENTLE and I am doing very well considering as am actually trying to cope quite well myself without meds from the doctor & just drink calming tea as a sleep aid etc and am on nothing strong or addictive at all etc

He has this thing about ''being strong'' all the time whereas if ANYONE swapped places with me they would be feeling down right now too and that INCLUDES if they were a grown man! ;-)

I have tried appealling to his ''better nature'' as he has a friend who he is fond of who has some issues and struggles in his life and is on strong medication but he describes his friend as a ''lovely person'' NOT a weak man!..........

Yes because I confronted him about him doing something wrong that I didn't like he blew up at me and practically accused me of being crazy and he said ''I knew this would happen now you're ON THE PILLS''!!!............

Its ruddy natural Passiflora , not hard core Valium or something and it IS actually helping me!!!

He had someone in his own FAMILY who got so depressed they tried to commit suicide but he said it was because SOMEONE PUT A SPELL ON HIM .....It ''wasn't his fault and didn't know what he was doing''

I asked if this person was under alot of pressure at the time and he said YES but couldn't admit that is why he was driven to that point it had to be that someone had cursed that person lol so no understanding for me going on here it seems and I wonder if I am actually wasting my time???

I will try explaining things gently to him as I need his support right now and would love him to have a better understanding of basic human being issues rather than ''HAVING TO BE STRONG ALL THE TIME'' which is pretty ruddy well IMPOSSIBLE although this is what HE always tries to do

Anyway he is not talking to me at the moment even though I've done nothing wrong , so will wait and see when he calms down as he is usually very caring but has not much sympathy when it comes to it reaching a point of depression symptoms or the like and he's not good with talking about & getting out feelings even though he says its not good to bottle it up as he doesn't like me crying at all even though it really HELPS!!! x

Its a little bit or alot annoying that I am bushwhacked today but coz my ex who came round to CHEER ME UP actually upset me and made me feel way worse is sleeping soundly like a baby at his place when I CAN'T SLEEP coz HE is the one who upset ME! :-( :-( :-(

Right , you go round to cheer your girlfriend up as she's having a bad downer kind of day due to stress etc but you c*ck up and make a mistake which hurts & upsets her & when she tells you she is UPSET about it do you go into offensive mode and not fess up and say SHE is in the wrong and going loopy over her problems which you were trying to cheer her up with or do you AT ANY POINT feel guilty that you went round to cheer her up & make her feel better but you ended up making her feel WAY WORSE

I mean if you were really concerned about her wouldn't you just admit your mistake or not even admit it BUT AT LEAST APOLOGISE FOR UPSETTING HER

( I didn't have a go at him or anything , just told him I was upset about what he had done but he just went angry and bollistic and denied it and said I was crazy when I am actually not ..... spose all I wanted was a simple apology! ) :-( :-( :-(