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chandra
Lv 6
chandra asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 8 years ago

I think I upset my sister?

Oh dear , I honestly didn't MEAN to , I am just concerned about her...

She and her husband have been on a tight budget for many years and it has been hard for them

We had a phone chat yesterday and she told me she is going to have a tin of tuna with pasta for dinner

I know there is nothing wrong with that but it is all she had in the house and she had no herbs or spices to add to it and she told me she would not be able to get any for a week or so

Her husband has a job now so I thought things had improved for them as they often had no food in the house before when he was a student

It hurts me to think of them struggling but I think it has become the norm for them somehow and they survive on very little food sometimes eg very cheap tinned stuff

I know times are hard and things are hard for many but FOOD is important and I was hoping they would be able to afford better food now like chicken and fresh fish and veg etc which are cheapest in the outdoor markets or frozen fish etc from Iceland ( UK )

I am just CONCERNED about her as it does not have to be the finest steak but I would love her to eat NICE food and enjoy it rather than basic survival stuff and her husbands job wage will probably steadily remain the same so things may not improve

I expressed my concerns to her via Facebook message when we were both on it as she has been on my mind for a couple of days and I wanted to help

Obviously it is a sensitive subject and I didn't want to offend her but I think I DID as she ignored my message and did not reply like she normally would :-(

I am HOPING she realised I expressed my concerns because I CARE and I honestly thought things had improved now her husband is working and I want the best for her , but seems things are pretty much the same as before and not set to change and I can lend her money if she needs it but will probably struggle to pay it back

A part of me is upset because I don't feel she is being ''looked after'' and she cannot work due to health problems , she gets a little bit of DLA but she said she is going to spend it on food but what is her husband doing about the food budget??? :-(

I did not ask her that of course I just told her I was a bit worried about the lack of food in the house :-( xx

Update:

I'm not being ''nosey'' and nosing into her life but maybe she thinks I am and is getting defensive about it because she wants to 'cover it up' and of course protect her husband , she doesn't often openly discuss real issues and doesn't always feel comfortable doing so or being honest and real about things but I hate to think of her struggling in silence and would LOVE her husband to spend more money on food and cut back on other things as it feels she is being neglected and not getting the life she deserves! :-(

Update 2:

She is pretty much house bound so can't go out for food x

Update 3:

Menykats - She told me she CAN'T get any herbs or spices till her DLA MONEY comes in 9 days time!!!

And I sent her a PRIVATE message on Facebook so I am not that insensitive to post it on her wall for all the world to see so who is the one jumping to conclusions??? ;-)

She DID say she could not afford any for over a week until she got her DLA .....I am the one who knows what she said , not you! loooooool

It is natural and normal to want the best for your family and not see them suffer - I was being a concerned sister and if that's wrong then I am wrong but I don't think it is!!! :-) :-) x

( Maybe you are the one who should butt out!! LOL )

Update 4:

P.S If YOU were my sister I would WELL AND TRULY BUTT OUT!!! :-)

4 Answers

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  • Andy
    8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Ah don't feel bad. The reality is nobody should be living like that...and they know it too.

  • menykats
    Lv 7
    8 years ago

    I think you are jumping to conclusions about what your sister said. She said she was going to have tuna and pasta, but she had no herbs or spices; and she wouldn't be able to get any for a week. She did NOT say she couldn't AFFORD any herbs and spices for another week-- she just said she didn't HAVE any at the moment. Maybe, for some reason, she is just unable to go to the grocery store for another week.

    What's wrong with a can of plain tuna anyway? I often make a meal for myself with tuna right out the can, along with a can of pork and beans.

    I think it would be best for all concened if you butt out of your sister's life on this subject. You have said that you didn't mean to offend her; but yet you sent her a message on FB (where all the world can read it) about this because you wanted to "help" her. She has not responded. That should be a clue to you that you ARE offending her and that she does not appreciate you posting her "problems" on FB, where everybody and his dog can read about it.

    My advice to you is to"butt out", if you wish to remain friends with your sister.

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    I personally think it is a matter of how close you are to your sister. Your sister should respect your wishes. Talk to your sister.

  • Marina
    8 years ago

    agree

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