My boyfriend ruined our first anniversary?

You say you're doing the things he should be doing for you. Therefore, if you want him to put some effort in, stop doing everything. Simple as. You went and booked the hotel, you paid for it too, right?

Well, rather than getting all upset about that, just let it go. From now on, you simply make plans for you. You want to go out on a Saturday night? Don't wait for him to make plans, make plans yourself with friends and go without him. And NO, he can't tag along if he decides on the spur of the moment he wants to go. Be nice, but firm. Girls only.

In future, if he doesn't have anything planned and set up - reservations made, the lot - for Saturday night by Wednesday, then you go and make your plans for your weekend WITHOUT HIM. If he complains that you are doing all this without him, smile sweetly and explain NICELY that he didn't arrange anything in advance for the two of you, so you thought he wanted to go out with his mates, so you have arranged to do something with YOURS.

It must be Wednesday, always. If he phones on Friday and says how about it for Saturday, say, oh how sweet, but you already have plans. Then you wish him a nice weekend and say goodbye and put the phone down.

The secret is to be hard to get, but a pleasure to be with. When you do speak with him, always be nice, but firm - don't go back on your own plans just to please him.

And if he starts issuing ultimatums about how he'll ditch you if you don't be more available to him, tell him goodbye and good luck. And yes, it IS that easy. Don't waste time on guys who are merely hanging around with you for now.

Maybe he was trying to be cute, by giving you the traditional 1st anniversary present - paper (i.e. the coloring book, and kids books).

I'm not saying it's not lame, just trying to give some explanation for the unusual choice.

But the fact that he also got you to buy your own Christmas presents... That doesn't sound good. If I were you, I'd be looking for an exit strategy. If he can't even be bothered putting in some effort, he's really not that into you, and you should stop wasting your time with him.

Could be a few things

Sounds like he didn't want to do hotel thing, but just went along with it

Alternatively (and maybe), it could sound like he doesn't feel the need to impress you anymore. You're his girlfriend, and you live together, what are you going to do, move out?

You've just said this yourself too. You're committed to the domestic relationship, which doesn't make him feel like he needs to do much else

If you don't have any children, and you're not married, you have a great insight into the future here. You can try and make him change for a time. If not, you can get out

But yes is my answer to your question, you should be upset after the effort you made

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If you do get back together, don't let the same issues that destroyed your relationship crop up again. Have a good, long talk about how you're both going to make it right this time.

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Listen, there are many guys out there who are bad at gift giving. You know how they say, "It's the thought that counts?", well it's true. Now if you know for SURE that he put no effort into it then yes, you have the right to be upset. I would be too.

do you have kids? it sounds like he gave you someone else's gift because he didn't have anything for you.

it doesn't sound like you're important to him or a priority. it sounds more like you're invested in the relationship than he is.

this is where you start rethinking your relationship. you have to figure out if your disappointment in him is a deal breaker or if it's something you can work around. you have to figure out if you want him more than you are disappointed in him.

He is a loser.