How to stop my 4 year old from crying when I drop her off at preschool ?

A photo of you and her together may help, also if the school has a timeline so she can see what is happening now and then next and when its home time may reduce the anxiety she feels when you are not with her. Give it time, it may take a few months before she is relaxed and comfortable with the routine. Above all remain calm and consistent. Good luck.

shes not in real pain, she just would rather stay home and is thinking of excuses, just a little separation anxiety, ask her why she doesnt want to go to school, and if she doesnt give a good reason, like shes being bullied or something, then the best thing you can do for her is just make the drop off as easy as possible, dont stay around too long, get her in and leave, even if she cries, this way shell see crying and making excuses isnt going to get you to stay any longer then otherwise. give her something to relieve her axiety a little and comfort her, if she can read maybe a little note saying you love her and will be back soon to get her or if she cant a family picture so she can see you and know shell see you soon when shes at school. school is important and its important she continues to go, shell get better at the drop off over time. dont bribe her or reward her or it will make school seem like a big task that she has to get through instead of a normal part of the day, like dinner or bedtime. only reward with praise.

First off, it is normal for some children to have difficulty adjusting to the new setting. Day care settings can be overwhelming if they have never experienced them before. So the crying and the wetting of pants, etc can fall within the range of normal (even if was late coming). That being said,

1) consider how you talk to her and react. Is she playing you? Be honest.

2) consider that there really is something not going well at the center. If you can stay for a bit to get her settled, do so...even if that means coming 30 minutes ahead of typical schedule. I agree with giving her something to use as a comfort of yours. Discuss with the lead teacher what you both can do to make it easier. Feel free to call off and on to see how things are going...and ask to talk to your child. You'll be able to tell if your child has been crying for a long time. Provide them with a "cheap" digital camera and ask them to take pictures of your child interacting with other children and being "happy"....this especially so if they are saying she is not crying after you leave. I also suggest you drop in unannounced at various times throughout the day to quietly peek in and see what's going on. Not necessary to stop your child and make her notice you but just to see how things are going. Also, check their daily routine, etc. Is it child friendly? Is there a lot of movement or is there a lot of sit down "work". Observe the other children, do they seem to have "happiness" issues? Get in contact with the other parents and talk about their experiences with the preschool.

Good luck!

Drop a digital recorder in her back pack. You cannot use it to bring charges because it may illegal, but it will ease any fears you have that something is going on at school. I also agree that she may not be able to handle the whole day, but I am somewhat suspicious about their explanation. Most of the time when the kid gets into the routine, they love it. It is so much more fun going to be with friends than staying home.

Have you asked her if anything is wrong? Most four year olds are somewhat cognizant of the things going on around them so ask her some questions without seeming intrusive. Kids often do not tell you what is going on unless you dig a little bit. You might tell you a few things that bothered you when you were four. That puts you more on an equal footing with her and she may feel more free to share.

I wouldn't gloss over this. Her acting out behaviors are escalating. Kicking and screaming at the door and refusing to get out of bed should be telling you something. I have been around children with emotional disturbances for the past twenty years and I have seen a direct relationship between the level of abuse and the level of acting out behavior. I am not saying they are abusing her but something is happening and you need to get her to tell you or stay a whole day at school to see for yourself. You do not want this to be happening already. I would actually change preschools if I had any doubts. This is your kid we are talking about.

Does you daughter have any language delays? This could be also be part of the problem. Some kids her age have more slowly developing language and I am not talking speech errors. Kids can have deficits in auditory processing or delays in expressive or receptive language. This may just be her developmental rate or it could be a mild language disability. I have seen many kids who have expressive language delays, in other words, difficulty with processing of words to be spoken and they often act out when they are little because they cannot formulate their thought into words.

If I were you and I hate to give advice, but this is important. I suggest you call or go down to your school district main office to see if they have a Child Find Department. IDEA (Individuals With Disabilities Education Act,) requires districts to screen children at age 4 or older for possible disabilities if the parent is worried. Your daughter is trying to tell you something with her behavior. You really need to listen.

Finally, make sure your child doesn't have to sit too long and that the lessons are developmentally appropriate. These days people assume that all kids develop at the same rate and that is just not true. If she is being forced to do academics, she may not have the grey matter for it yet and will get in trouble or even get scolded or punished because she is not able to sit for a long time. I have seen way too much of this, particularly in K. Your child's work is learning to play with other people at this age. This is another area to investigate. Child Find will also look at her current ability levels in not only language, but in daily living skills and pre-academics

If you don't have other things that you need to do try going in with her for the first half hour until she's settled playing of with her friends. Also, try a reward system where if she goes two days without crying she can choose a day out or a treat from the shops.

Just stay calm when you drop her off and give her a hug and reassure her

Is there any reason for full day? That is a long day for little ones. There is a lot of competition, lots of stress, and not much 'down time' in a large group setting like preschool. This might be very stressful for her. If you are not working, skip the full time .

Tell her that there would be a surprise at the end. Buy her ice creams at the end of school and make sure you tell her mummy has to do whats best for you. :)

Your kid doesn't want to leave you so tell her that the school is something fun and exciting. Try staying with her at school for one day and help her have fun. Then, maybe she will enjoy going to school.

Give her something like a scarf of yours for her to keep with her all day so it comforts her, also offer to take her to the park for example if she doesn't get upset.

My best friend used to do this in nursery and her mum used these methods they worked wonders.

Just remind the child about the swings,toys and other kids