Feeling troubled about my ideas and emotions?

I had an experience, and I don't expect any answer, maybe some tips or some words of wisdom. I just want to express this:

I've never really been a "lovely" kid. I am 16 years old. I have never really been sociable, or Lovely. I am smart, cold, and boring. But I am gentle and smiling. I like to help people, I am not selfish. Sometimes I can be evil though. Instead of going out, I study. Instead of having fun, I think of situations, I rationalize. I am a brainy person. Even though, I still think being gentle and helping is a priority, only that I don't meet to much persons. I've lived my life trying to avoid the outside world and focus on studying, because I like it. Until one day, my mom convinced me to go on a trip with my aunt in law and her family. I went, and it seemed a good idea after all. My aunt has a brother, whom has 4 little babies. The oldest one is 5, the second is 4, and the others I don't really know. I was left out alone with the babies, supposedly taking care of them. They were just sleeping, since it was late in night. The second of the children woke up. She is very sweet. She won't stop smiling since the moment you see her. You see her smiling at the moment she enters a room. She asked me to play with her, and so I did. It got late and I carried her to bed. I went to sleep too, and I thought that children can really be lovely and fun to be with. In the morning, I heard her voice saying "wake up!, let's go outside" . We played hide and seek. She liked to grab my hand and play with it. Moments passed and I got emotionally attached, I think. When it was time to part ways, she said she'd missed me, and that I would see her again soon. I missed her for some time. And she demonstrated me that life is not just about studying. Right now, I am not sure if it's her I miss, maybe I just need someone. She showed me that a family can really be possible in my future. I am now depressed. I don't know really what to do. I was looking forward into some vacation courses, but now I don't feel like it. I don't want to read anymore, I don't want to study or do my daily hobbies. I am trapped in the middle of my ideals, It's a big turning point for my life. How do I choose. Will I ever become like I was before, or can I blossom into a different person? Because as insensitive as it can sound, I prefer myself as I was before. Or it would be better that I had a family to be with. I don't know how to choose. Maybe time will make things clearer.