First wedding alone? Photographer? Shot list?

There's nothing unprofessional about a physical checklist. You can keep a pocketsized notebook, keep in on your phone or tablet, or even keep a card in your camera bag.

By the way, here's a suggested list to start you off.

http://www.realsimple.com/weddings/ceremony/must-h...

I am a freelance photographer, and I have done many weddings in the past. I tend to agree with your professional that you hired, having a second hired photographer at your wedding will mean that your photographers will have to worry about getting in each others way, as well as possibly being a burden to your wedding party, having to sit through two shoots. This is something that should have been planned before hand and not thrown at your first photographer at the last minute; I would agree that its not really polite. Not only are you interrupting your first photographer's work flow, but it's almost as if you you are saying that he or she can't do the job well enough, and that you don't trust their work. If you really feel you need two photographers at your wedding, maybe you should have asked your hired photographer if he has a partner or a photographer that he has worked with before. I know there is nothing in the contract that says you can't hire two or three or ten photographers, but if I was in his position, I would be annoyed as well.

Have you met with the bride yet? Often they have a list of their own to add to yours.

Have you been to the church, talked with the priest or minister?... know the lighting, are you permitted to use flash?

It would be to your advantage to visit some wedding photographer sites to make/take notes of shots that you may want to propose besides the standard family shots, groom and best men, bride and maids of honor and all that stuff.

Are you going to go to the rehearsal?... that would be a good time to make some test shots and get your white balance set for that location.

I've only shot about 8 weddings and have never used a 'shot list'. I did make a point of always going to the home of the bride to get shots of preparing for the wedding and, if I had an assistant (I always try to use a female if possible so she goes to shoot the bride while I go shoot the groom before the wedding). That's always a special touch to a wedding album... the pre nuptial preparations.

I could go on and on but I think you have the gist of where I'm taking you.

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You don't print a list and read off it all night. It's a dance of sorts. You learn the steps and know where you need to be and what you need to do.

My first ever job was on a 2 day paintball simulation with the ROTC. What I did, was make up a set of expectations, what I wanted to get out of it like painted faces and action shots of people firing. How to get that was left open to the heat of the moment. It's really about what works for you. If you need to print it out then I guess OK, But I'll send you a check to pay my wager if you don't look back after a while and say that you missed lots of great shots because you were trying to get something in your head or fumbling with a list.

Just keep it in your pocket.

Your clients would rather have you looking over a list as opposed to forgetting important shots.

Edit:

I never talk with the minister/church about lighting. I only ask the client what they want. I have often used flash even when it is not allowed by the church, and the minister has never stopped a wedding to tell me not to use it.

If your problem is merely family member groups, have the groom appoint one of his groomsmen who knows the family members to act as a runner to retrieve family members.