What should I do if my husband will not go to counseling for depression?

If he had a broken leg which made it impossible for him to have a job, and he refused to have the leg treated, would you spend your entire life supporting him financially while also helping him in and out of the wheelchair? He says he loves you, but he isn't willing to do what's necessary to be a decent husband to you. Please don't play martyr -- this guy has the responsibility to himself, to you, and to others to get himself some professional help. If he isn't man enough to be a man, you are being unfair to yourself trying to prop him up. That isn't how it works. If you walk out, he will either sink into a hole (which is what he wants to do), or he will man up. My vote is to walk -- that's how you find out just how much he really cares about you, and how much he really cares about playing "my leg's broken and everybody has to carry me around".

sigh........this is why you use your HEAD when getting married. If you knew he was depressed and had anciety, you were stupid to marry him.