I'm so close to suicide, what do I do?

Question

First of all , I know it's selfish and not the answer.

I'm 15, for the first 10 years of my life I was bullied constantly, I would hide in the school toilets to avoid people and would always stay back at school to avoid conflict with others. My "dad" divorced my mum when I was 5  and I have never gotten on with my new stepdad.
2 years ago I was raped whilst on holiday with my family, nobody knows about that incident.
Last year I was almost hospitalized with Anorexia nervosa, I would self harm excessively and now never wear short sleeved clothing.
I don't self harm anymore.
I've been feeling much better these past few months , with a healthy lifestyle and eating. 
But today I got a message from my "dad" who I have not seen for 8 years, this message was a direct attack to me and my mum threatening to take us to court for a bill that he never paid.

He then went on to tell me that I was not his biological daughter, so I now do not know if he is my father. I'm pretty sure I am and that he is just trying to attack my mum through me.

vin v · Answer

Stop giving so much care to what everyone else thinks. Realize that people will try to hurt you and get things out of you in every way possible, that's just how it is. You should respond to that by not succumbing to the **** the world throws at you. Stop giving a **** about your "dad" has to say. if he doesn't want to support you it's because he has a selfish mindset. The person you have that is close to you is your mom. If you kill yourself, you are going to leave your mom hopeless, she's probably put a lot into raising you. Don't kill yourself because people will always be assholes, and throughout life you have to deal with that, learn to deal with it, talk to your mom, stop talking to your "dad" and tell him to stuff it, because you are better than that.

Sarah · Answer

Call somebody. Especially if you are feeling that way right now. If you have no one you know that you can talk to there are all kinds of places that can help. Google help if you need too. Also I would look into therapy. For someone your age you may even be able to get free help. You don't seem like this is something you want, but I understand how strong those thoughts can be. So call somebody or distract yourself when you feel those thoughts coming on and get professional help. 
I'm sorry for what you've gone through. But you sound really strong, it may be hard but I'm sure you can get through this.

Anonymous · Answer

Just remember that you have such an amazing world to explore, if you can just make it to 18 you can leave it all and start fresh. If you end your life you'll miss out on some of life's most amazing experiences. Don't waste so much potential, you're life has barely begun.

? · Answer

I don't mean to sound creepy or anything, but personally I think you should start hanging out with me. I give great hugs and I am a very good listener. I'll bet we could be good friends.

Jimi Hendrix · Answer

think of the moments of happiness that you have... tell your closest friends about it, they will help

rachel · Answer

please talk to God, suicide immediately sends you to hell for eternity, please don't go that route

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I'm so close to suicide, what do I do?

6 Answers