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Lv 7
? asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 8 years ago

hi, please rate my poem?

hi there, I know m not a good writer but please rate my poem and if you have any suggestion feel free to comment. thank you

I have to be honest with you, so please understand

When I first meet, I didn’t see any part of me in you

But then I saw you picture and I said this can’t be true

What a beautiful lady in a black and white picture that was you

In those picture, I saw your eyes, so amazing

It made me fall in love with you.

I knew you were special so I gave you my number

I wanted to know if this was real, so I gave you a call

We talk for the first time, we were both nervous

But luckily we got to talk and knew one another

Now I’m happy and I’m glad I took this chance

Because by chance I met another angel

Everyday when I don’t see you,

I count the seconds that we are apart.

The day seems so long but you’re in my heart.

I know this love might be distance and must be hard on us

But please be patient and don’t give up

I honestly want to tell you this, I want this more than anything

I want you more then any lady in this world

Cause in my heart, you’re my new world

I really do hope that you feel the same way

because I want to be with you forever and a day

2 Answers

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  • 8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    It's okay, very typical, been done a million times before, no original style. And rhyming poetry annoys me, I feel that it can sometimes limit what someone really has to say. No interesting language here either. I mean, I can tell it is of importance to you, but it comes across as a journal entry.

    And it's very cheesy; not my thing.

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    it was really good mit made me think of my own life thank you can you please check out mine thanx

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