I want to go on a cruise alone without boyfriend?

Question

I broke up with my boyfriend almost 3 weeks ago.  We'd been together for almost 19 months.  I broke up with him because of his insecurity (didn't trust me, so I never went anywhere or did anything) and his overall negative attitude.  We've been on several vacations, including 2 cruises, and I was miserable the entire time because he kept being so negative the whole time, and I didn't end up doing a single thing I wanted to on any of them.

I tried to go on a cruise alone in April to get a break and he SPAZZED and made accusations, so I booked him on it too and it ended up misreable as well.  

To make myself feel more empowered after the breakup, and give myself something to look forward to, I booked myself a 5-night cruise for October. 

He begged nonstop for another chance, saying the usual "I'll do anything it takes, I swear, etc"  Last weekend I went to his house to "talk" and we ended up hooking up.  We've maintained contact regularly and been hanging out, though he's been giving me the space I asked for, which I really appreciate.

Unfortunately, his personality hasn't changed at all (duh) and he's still a pretty negative person, even if he's making a conscious effort not to direct it towards me lately.

Is it fair enough to say to him "I'm going on a cruise in October alone, and if you don't like it, there's the door?"

I'd never cheat.  I just want to go on a vacation I can actually enjoy for once, and unfortunately, he and I are simply not compatible vacation-takers.

Mircat · Answer

Why are you asking this?  The guy isn't going to change?  His insecurity and jealousness is not something he can simply shut off.  He has to want to do that and why should he want to?  He's going to remain insecure despite his promise to try harder.  I mean you've already seen that he remains that way just re-directed.  As long as it is there, it will come back and be directed at you sooner or later.  His issues aren't little.  He'll say and promise anything to get what he wants but to actually be able to make changes and I don't mean stop it but not even have the issue so he doesn't have to focus on not doing it will not happen.

I don't think you owe him any explanation at all.  Just because you hooked up doesn't mean you're a couple.  Go on your vacation.  He'll be the same old guy when you get back which should tell you there were no changes made.  You aren't a couple there is no cheating.  You can do whatever you want on the cruise with whom ever you want.  Your vacation is your business, it is private, and it is none of his business to know anything about it.  I might be inclined to tell him the day before I left that I was going on vacation but nothing further.  He's a big boy he can keep himself busy.

Give a great deal of reflection on the future with and without this control jerk.  I'm positive you can do better.  Have a great time!

Tyler · Answer

wanna know why he was insecure cause u gave him reasons to feel that way....do you even love him?

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I want to go on a cruise alone without boyfriend?

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