Tamara M

We're moving to New Orleans in October. I'm extremely excited, but I've never been there before. We want to rent a house, not an apartment. I want a safe neighborhood, but we can't afford more than about $1,100/month tops for rent. My new job will be out on the very east side of town, near the Bayou Sauvage National Wildlife Refuge. I'd like a fairly close commute, but if it's not a safe area to live, then I'd be willing to drive a little farther. We don't have kids yet, but want them soon. I'm not familiar with the different "sectors" of town yet, but I'm working on it!

Additionally: as a bonus, I have one weekend in early September to "sell" my boyfriend on moving there from Tampa. If you have any amazing restaurants/bars (we are in our 30's but still into "clubbing" when on vacation) or evening cruises you can recommend, I'd really appreciate it!!!!!!

There was a certain battle drill we did in Iraq for the enemy breaching the perimeter. You'd "declare" it--it was a really unique word. It's driving me insane all of a sudden not being able to remember what it is. They'd say the word over the intercom during the battle drills.

Please help.

I know salaries have gone down drastically recently. I've heard anywhere from 80-130k. Does anyone know if they still pay hazard pay? I'm talking about L-3 stratis only, not other companies.

Last night my boyfriend of 2.5 years and I went out to a bar/grille for dinner. We'd never been there before. There was another woman at the bar sitting next to my boyfriend. He made conversation with her right away, and it turned out they had a lot in common. They liked the same sports teams and they actually went to the same high school--she was a year older than him. They weren't flirting or anything, but he basically talked to her the whole time, and I didn't feel included at all. I tried to include myself from across him but it was like I was interrupting every time. He didn't put his arm around me or his hand on my leg or anything and talked to her from the time we got there until the time we left. I felt disrespected by this, because if you're at dinner with your girlfriend the majority of your attention should be on your girlfriend, not on anyone else, especially another woman. Talking is one thing, esp if all three of us are all included. But to spend the whole night talking to someone else to me is disrespectful because I was left out. Am I just being jealous and unreasonable?

Valentine's Day was terrible. I cried a lot. My boyfriend was driving us to a dinner cruise that I paid for us to go on. He wanted me to run in an buy him cigarettes at Walgreens, and started counting out money while driving my car (which I still owe $26k on, and he's already had one accident in...it was the other person's fault, but he could have prevented it). The light turned red quickly and everyone started slamming on their brakes. I grunted and tensed up. It was just a short grunt, half a second.

He instantly started screaming at me, and saying that I was calling him a bad driver by making "those noises and freaking the *** out". He screamed and screamed for 5 minutes straight, and said he was thinking of turning around because he wasn't "dealing with my sh*t tonight" and he was "so tired of it." He gets furious if I say something like "hey babe the light's green" when hes texting someone at a red light or calmly say "watch out" when someone veers into our lane. I can't say one thing or make a single noise, or even grip the OMG handle without him screaming at me, and saying I'm accusing him of being a bad driver.

I said I want him to get some help for his anger and he said it's my fault and I "Make" him scream at me, because I know he doesn't like it and I do it anyway. He said if I know he doesnt' like it when I comment on his driving then I should stop doing it, and that if I know by now that it'll "make' him scream then it's my own fault if I get screamed at. He said "I'll get help for my anger when you get help for your mental issues" referring to me "freaking out" over "people braking 100 feet away."

He went in and bought his cigarettes, then came back out and got in the car and said "sorry" and changed the subject.

Been together for 2 years and 2 months. Live together. Unfortunately, this isn't uncommon.

Which one is correct when in trouble/danger:

"I need your back!"

vs

"I need you to have my back!"

Also:

"You've got my back!"

vs

"I've got your back!"

We are in disagreement about which is correct.

Also, are both terms usable, or are any of the above just completely wrong?

Thanks.

Friday evening, he went to grab some chips out of the pantry and I stopped him and said "no, those are for when we're drinking tomorrow night."

He said "huh? where are you going tomorrow night?" and I said "nowhere--you'll be here, won't you? We're drinking, aren't we?"

And he said "oh....yeah."

Yesterday morning he tells me he's going out on his friend's boat. That's fine. He did say that it would be a lot of fun, and that they were going to be docking at different bars, and invited me to come. I declined (not my thing).

I got one text from him yesterday at about 5:45pm saying that his phone battery was about to die and he'd send me pictures later.

I tried calling 5 times between 6pm and 10pm and he didn't answer. Also, his phone rang 6 times every time I called; if it's dead it always goes straight to voicemail.

I texted him about a dozen times. I got what I assume is a drunk text around 8:45 with just some random letters, so his phone obviously wasn't dead.

He NEVER came home. In fact, it's 1:15pm the next day, he's been gone over 24 hours now.

He didn't call me 'til 11am today and I was too upset to answer.

We don't live together, but he spends about 6 nights a week here and always lets me know when he's staying somewhere else (his house, a friend's, etc)

I texted him saying I was very upset and feel disrespected and don't want to talk to him right now and turned off my phone and left it in the car.

Am I over reacting?

Is this normal?

He's 34, I'm 28. We've been together nearly 2 years.

Back in June, I broke up with my boyfriend because he was constantly being a jerk. Derogatory comments all the time, always judgmental, constant profanity, never affectionate, etc. I basically dropped all his stuff off at his house and left him a note and then went on vacation with my family. He called constantly and wanted to get back together.

After I got back from vacation, I was trying to distract myself from the temptation to talk to him, and replied to a personals ad a guy put out who was new to the area and just looking to get to know new people. I posted on my Facebook about it, because I thought it was funny he had his parents come pick him up after 2 beers.

I ended up getting back together with my boyfriend shortly thereafter, and we've been back together since. Well about 2 weeks ago I left to go get food during a baseball game and it took forever. I was drunk and didn't realize how long I'd been gone and when I came back he wasn't there. Then he called me and started calling me a wh*re and s*ut and c*nt. He said he was done with me. We fought because I had no clue what his deal was suddenly. When I came back to the hotel room and found him he yelled and called me all the same names. When I went leave he said "what, are you trying to get passed around again tonight???" and said he knows I'm seeing other people, and that he went through my facebook! He went through all my private messages and posts and profile and everything.

I still don't know how he got into it--all I can think is I must have accidently left it open.

I said I didn't want to break up with him and he said he can't trust me because I'm "seeing other people." We were broken up, and the guy and I literally just talked for like an hour.

I told him he can get on my facebook any time because I have nothing to hide and gave him my password. He doesn't have a Facebook--he says that it's for idiots and wh*res. And now he makes comments every day. Like "why don't you have a relationship status on there?' "Why is your address on there?" "where are the pictures of US?"

Do I have a right to be offended that he went through my facebook without my permission, or is he right to be mad that I met someone else after breaking up with him?

I broke up with my boyfriend almost 3 weeks ago. We'd been together for almost 19 months. I broke up with him because of his insecurity (didn't trust me, so I never went anywhere or did anything) and his overall negative attitude. We've been on several vacations, including 2 cruises, and I was miserable the entire time because he kept being so negative the whole time, and I didn't end up doing a single thing I wanted to on any of them.

I tried to go on a cruise alone in April to get a break and he SPAZZED and made accusations, so I booked him on it too and it ended up misreable as well.

To make myself feel more empowered after the breakup, and give myself something to look forward to, I booked myself a 5-night cruise for October.

He begged nonstop for another chance, saying the usual "I'll do anything it takes, I swear, etc" Last weekend I went to his house to "talk" and we ended up hooking up. We've maintained contact regularly and been hanging out, though he's been giving me the space I asked for, which I really appreciate.

Unfortunately, his personality hasn't changed at all (duh) and he's still a pretty negative person, even if he's making a conscious effort not to direct it towards me lately.

Is it fair enough to say to him "I'm going on a cruise in October alone, and if you don't like it, there's the door?"

I'd never cheat. I just want to go on a vacation I can actually enjoy for once, and unfortunately, he and I are simply not compatible vacation-takers.

Trying to find an answer for my distraught friend.

He had a strawberry patch in his front yard. He got a notice on his front door a couple months ago that "your yard is in violation of city code" but didn't specify which ordinance/code he was allegedly violating. He emailed his city councilman who replied with "I'll look into it."

Three days later he came home from work and his patch had been mowed down and torn up by the city, with a notice on his door saying it was his failure to comply with their earlier request.

Anyone know which "code" or "ordinance" he could have possibly been violating? They're strawberries!!!

Friday night my bf of 18 months and I went out for sushi. It was nice. I said "let's go do some shots somewhere" and he said "i'd rather do that tomorrow night than tonight to be honest with you" and I said okay. We got a couple beers and went home. Then yesterday he left around 10 saying "I'm gonna get out of here", and I figured he was playin golf or out on his boat or something, but he always calls around sunset to let me know what's up. he didn't. I tried callin and he didn't answer. It was 9pm, and I texted him saying I guess you're not coming over. I feel dumb. i'm gonna turn off my phone, hang my nice clothes back up and go to bed. Miss you."

Did I over react? Should I be mad? I know we never said we were definitely going out, or made specific plans, but it sure seemed like it to me. Now I worry when I turn on my phone there will be angry messages from him, so I've been avoiding it.

P.s. my work schedule's changing and it's my last weekend off for the next 4-6 months at least, and he knew it.

Ok I'm clueless on electricity so I apologize if I don't explain clearly.

In my garage, I have an outlet that had the little "reset" and test buttons like in the bathroom. My garage lights stopped working, and my water filter (it's external but the wire was run into the garage and plugged into the outlet) powered off too. I have tried on the fuse box to my house (I own my house so have no landlord) to switch it on and off and it switches all the way on and off just fine, but still no power. The outlet says "light must be on when tripped" and the light comes on when I turn the fuse box to "on" for the garage. I've hit the "reset" button on the outlet 100,000 times and it immediately trips again every time, even though everything is off or unplugged. Please help.

I know you don't for the weekend drills.

But for WLC, OCS, AIT (or officer training schools) do you receive BAH?

I have a 3 week WLC coming up later this year....also thinking of applying for OCS eventually.

I'm going on a Carnival cruise tomorrow. (Yay!!!!). I have a question: if you buy the Bottomless Bubbles card, and don't want to buy their tumbler, can you bring your own cup or Tervis tumbler, and have them fill that with soda?

I'd ask them directly but hold times right now are over an hour.

My boyfriend and I have been together for just over 15 months.im 28 and he's 34. My family is thousands of miles away, but his is like 30. He visits with them sometimes, but has never taken me. I know it's partially my fault; he's invited me to his nephew's soccer games before, where the whole family goes, and I don't want to go because I work 3rd shift and they're at like 1pm. It just seems like he would have invited me to dinner at his parents or something by now?

i have a new part time job. they already formally offered me (verbally, over the phone) the position. i'll fill out the HR paperwork here in a couple weeks when i get back from vacation. i have a 5 day drill next month. i haven't mentioned being in the reserves yet because i didn't want it to affect my chances of being selected. when and how do i tell them?

I'm overweight but want to improve myself. I'm really self conscious about the bouncing and jiggling. Do you think that if I run on the sidewalk along the street people will shout mean things at me, or think "good for her"? Should I pay for a gym instead or am I overthinking?

I already have a full time job. I work nights right now, but will be switching to second shift (2pm-12am) this summer. I just bought a house and am having trouble making my credit card payments. I want to just pay them off in the next year--about $9,000.

What's a nice flexible part time job I can work that's reasonably obtainable in this economy, that works with my schedule? I only want about 12 hours a week.