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How can I break up with her?
I have been my girlfriend for a little over 10 months, and I love her dearly, but I feel like I'm beginning to fall out of love and I don't want to be with her any more. I have told her that I am feeling unhappy about the relationship and she cried and said she would try harder. After a week she admitted to me that she hadn't tried harder at all. That hurt me. A few days after that I told her that I felt like I was falling out of love. It's mainly because of all the fights we have, we fight about the smallest stuff and it's always pointless, but it's so frequent that I can't handle it. We are very different people and we have completely different mindset, she is very fragile and I don't want to hurt her. This will be the first time I break up with a girl and I feel so nervous about it, I will feel like a horrible person for it. I don't want her to hate me. I don't want to hurt her, but continuing to see her is causing me pain. What can I do in order to preserve her feelings but still break it off with her?
10 Answers
- BrianLv 58 years agoFavorite Answer
Okay, the thing you need to know about relationships:
Like any relationship on the planet, effort is isn't 50/50. It's 100/100.
Honestly, I'd think about it like this:
She's not even willing or trying to make the relationship work.
I think you already figured this part out, and really, there's no point in trying for someone who won't try for you.
As for how to break it off, yet keep her happy:
This isn't possible. I'm sorry to say you can't have the best of both worlds here. Realistically speaking,
You cannot and should not satisfy other people at the expense of your own happiness. It's that simple.
Another thing is: you're probably causing her pain by NOT breaking up with her.
She already knows that you're falling out of love. She already knows that you're unhappy with the relationship. And she hasn't tried harder...Ouch.
I understand that you don't want to hurt this significant other, but you're only hurting yourself (and her) by not breaking it off. This is unnecessary stress.
Remember: Do not please others at the expense of your own happiness. This is our only life, and we deserve to live it the best way we want to.
I hope my advice helped you, and I wish you the best of luck!
- 8 years ago
It sounds like you've already got quite an honest, open relationship. She probably won't be surprised if you've already said you think that you're falling out of love with her, so she shouldn't get hurt too much. Also, if she said she'd try but didn't, maybe she is sort of in the same place, and worried about losing you as a really close friend/being out of a relationship again.
Just say that it's not working any more and give your reasons if she asks - they are perfectly reasonable and not a poor reflection on either of you...at the moment, you're just not as compatible as you'd both like to be.
Hope this helps!
- 8 years ago
-Start off by making sure you want to break up with your girlfriend. You may not be able to take the breakup back if you change your mind after a week or so.
-Avoid telling anybody that you've made the final decision to break up with your girlfriend until you speak with her. The last thing you want is for her to find out from somebody else before you speak with her.
-Tell your girlfriend that you'd like to see her. It's incredibly tacky and insensitive to break up with your girlfriend via phone or email. A breakup is something that needs to be done in person.
-Choose the right location for the breakup. You should meet your girlfriend at a public place where the two of you can talk, such as a park. Avoid breaking up with your girlfriend at either of your homes as the situation could get quite awkward. Breaking up at a restaurant isn't a good idea either, as you don't want to make a scene in front of people who are enjoying a meal.
-Explain how you came to the conclusion that you should break up. This is the hardest part of the breakup as you need to explain yourself without directly insulting your girlfriend. You could talk about how different the two of you are or tell her why you aren't happy. While it's important that you tell her your reasoning, you shouldn't go on for 30 minutes about why you want to break up. Make your point, but do so in as short an amount of time as possible.
-Allow your girlfriend to respond. This is, if nothing else, a courtesy. You may be shocked to find out that your girlfriend agrees that the relationship needs to end. She may also want to ask how long you've felt this way and if there is anything that could have been done. Answering her questions can give the both of you much needed closure after the breakup.
-Be prepared for her to attempt to save the relationship. In many cases, the person who is being broken up with will attempt to avoid the breakup by saying things such as "I can change" or "I'll do anything to keep you." If you've made the decision to break up, there are very good reasons why you did so. Stay strong and make sure she knows there is no saving this relationship.
Tips & Warnings:
-Wait at least a month after the breakup before attempting to contact your girlfriend if you wish to remain friends with her. This time can help heal any hard feelings either of you may have and can ensure that she doesn't get the wrong idea about your call.
-Remember that most breakups are not easy. Your girlfriend may cry or even scream at you. Being prepared for the worst can help you stick to your guns while you are breaking up with your girlfriend.
-Know that it is more than likely that the two of you won't be able to remain friends after the break up. It's too complicated.
Source(s): How to Break Up With Your Girl Friend By Andrew Smith, eHow Contributor http://www.ehow.com/how_5145408_break-up-girl-frie... - Anonymous6 years ago
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- ?Lv 45 years ago
These are my definitions of what you're asking. Unbroke = Not started at all; no training of any kind. Might be sufficiently habituated to handling to get a halter on, but has not been trained to lead or tie. Halter broke = Has been trained to be caught and allow a halter to be put on; leads willingly and without hesitation. Can be tied or put in cross-ties; will stand for farrier or vet with minimal restraint. Green broke = Will take saddle and bridle and EXPERIENCED rider. Can be trusted with experience rider in quiet situation to respond to basic cues to turn in both directions, halt, back at least a few steps, and to make simple transitions from halt to walk, walk to trot, trot to canter. Is not safe or reliable in situations where there are distractions like other horses and riders nearby, or situations that might cause fright or confusion. You never take anything for granted with a green-broke horse because he might regress in his training, might become confused, frustrated, or resistant. Broke = Has enough training that a reasonably competent rider can safely expect him to make gait transitions when asked, including flying lead changes at the canter, collect and extend the gaits when asked, halt, back willingly and in a straight line. Training has gone beyond the basics and the horse has an established discipline "specialty": jumps, or does dressage, or western riding, or some other advancement beyond basic gaits, collection and extension. Does what is asked and if the aids used are correct, will respond correctly. Can be handled by an inexperienced rider in most situations, but won't necessarily respond correctly to aids that are incorrectly given or aids that are contradictory-- i.e., the beginner who uses leg aids for a canter transition but inadvertently gives contradictory aids with hands. Dead broke: Can do advanced work in whatever discipline he's been trained in. Can be used as a lesson horse because if a beginner gets the aids mostly right or even vaguely right, he'll do what the rider is sort of asking for; and he won't do anything unexpected or dangerous. Can be expected to behave reliably, even with an inexperienced rider, in any situation you could reasonably expect to encounter. And one more category: Bombproof dead broke. This is the horse you can put grandma who's never been up on a horse before up on, and you know he'll take care of her. Will do what he's supposed to do even if he's given contradictory aids: if he's supposed to walk off quietly, he'll do that even if someone is pulling back on the reins or kicking him hard in the flanks; if he's supposed to stop, he'll stop even if the reins are totally loose and the rider is whacking him on the fanny with a stick; if he's trotting or cantering and he feels the rider coming loose, he'll transition to a walk or halt without being told to and will stay quiet while the rider organizes (or falls off). You can trust him to not shy or bolt or get upset even in the face of unexpected loud noises and scary sights, and even if people do something idiotic to him or around him. A bombproof broke horse might or might not be advanced in some discipline, but he definitely will do as expected and is completely reliable even for inexperienced riders.
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- Anonymous8 years ago
Just say it's not working out
- 8 years ago
Say that when you love someone so dearly that you have to let go and that you're letting her go