What should I do if I think I'm depressed?

Question

I feel really crappy, all the time. The sad feelings have been going on for almost a year, and it's gotten really bad over the past few months. I feel rundown a lot, like I could lie down and sleep, and all in all, I feel incredibly useless. I get up and lie around all day, and I don't see a point in getting up sometimes. 
  I get irritated a lot with everything, and I've been rude to my parents and I feel so bad because I've been so lethargic lately, and I feel like such a jerk for being this way. I tried to stop feeling so tired and rundown but I couldn't keep a smile on my face. 
 It's a bit odd because I feel better when I'm at marching band practice, or when I have a friend over. My good mood tends to fade quickly and I don't understand why I'd be happy. Or I start getting upset with myself for acting stupid, or I feel like I'm being exaggeratedly happy.
  I'm unhappy with my body because although I'm not an unhealthy weight, I hate how chubby I am and it really brings me down. I also really just want junk food and I haven't been eating well lately, or taking my medicine (it's for hypothyroidism, meaning my thyroid doesn't produce enough hormones).
  I've contemplated suicide when I'm upset, but I'm also scared to die. I just sit and imagine what it would be like if I was dead.
  I don't know what to do because my mom has depression and anxiety disorders, and she's having a few issues right now. I have a hard time working up courage to tell someone, and I don't want to worry my mom anymore than she's already stressed out with her own problems.
  Sorry for such a long question, but I have one more bit. It feels like if I'm aware of depression, then I'm making it up because if I really was depressed, why would I care or be worried about it? I don't want to come across as attention seeking, but I want to feel better sometimes. Now and then I get in a lighter mood, but then I get anxious and it's like I want to be lethargic and useless again.
  What do I do?

esmeh! · Accepted Answer

Being aware of your depression doesn't mean you're making it up, it just means you are self aware. If it runs in your family them you are more likely to get depressed. For example I did some research on my biological moms side of the family after being depressed for several years (I'm adopted so it took a little work) and not only did my mom suffer from severe postpartum depression, but her mom  also suffered from depression and committed suicide. Once I realized that it wasn't  my fault, that my brain had a chemical imbalance, I felt less ashamed to ask for help. My advice to you would be too talk to someone that won't judge you. For example a school counselor. Is their job to help students dealing with emotional problems. You can be sure that they have heard just about everything, so you won't seem like you're being dramatic to them, you are just reaching out for help. Which is three best and smartest thing to do. You could also talk to your mom. Maybe not tell her that you think you are depressed, but explain all your symptoms and I'm sure she could piece it together herself. Who would know better how to cope than your mom?

Anonymous · Answer

You are far too young to be contemplating suicide.  You need your parent's help with this battle.  You know that this type of problem can be inherited?  Since your mother has depression and anxiety, you may have inherited some of that from her.  I think she would feel even worse than she does now if she finds out you have this problem but have been keeping it from her.  Your parents can get you to a medical doctor for some possible medication help or perhaps some individual counseling would be a benefit to you.  Whatever you do, please do not keep your loved ones, especially mom & dad, in the dark.  I am sure they want you to be well.  Get this under control now so you won't have a bigger problem later.

Trending News

What should I do if I think I'm depressed?

2 Answers