Can you press charges on specific people for a crime, but exclude others?

You don't get to decide the charges or how things are handled. You can report something when you think there's a crime, but it's up to the state (police, prosecutor, etc.) if they want to pursue criminal charges and which ones.

No, the person whose property was damaged doesn't get to choose charges. They can report what happened and why they think someone is worse than another, etc. But the police will objectively investigate and the prosecutor will determine who gets charged with what and why.

If the person whose property was damaged wants to sue someone civilly, they can have more leeway since they're pursuing the matter themselves, and seeking financial damages. But even then, if it's not fair to pursue more from one person than another, that's going to be a defense the person brings up in court.

If it's a civil suit, the person who had their property damaged could charge whomever they wished. But it would be up to them to prove it. If it's a criminal suit, they have nothing to do with the charges, or who is charged. The police do that. But why would you want to press charges against one person and not another, if both were involved?

Despite popular belief, the victim NEVER presses charges. Only the DA/prosecuting attorney can press charges. Therefore, no you cannot choose who does/doesn't get charged in your example. Now, if you choose to file a civil suit, then yes you can absolutely pick & choose who to sue.

The people never have a choice in charges that is up to the police and the DA. You can give your opinion and ask that someone not be charged or that charges be dropped but they do not have to listen to you.