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How to cope with this?

Well, therapy is going. I'll give you some backstory.

I initially began therapy because

a) deep feelings of guilt

b) shame from past event(s)

c) a few strange memories and nightmares that I can't explain

The last point, c, has left me confused about what might have happened to me as a kid. I remember some sketchy things happening. Those are concrete memories. Then there are other, less certain memories, yet more explicit, which were "recalled" (but not concretely?) after some other things happened. But these are in no way certain.

I told my therapist about these, and she said, based on the sexually explicit nightmares that I had as a child and the vague recollections, she thinks that it's near certain I was molested.

I have an issue with this because

a) how can anyone know?

b) she has a vested interest in my issues, although I trust her.

I'm still at the "maybe" part. I think maybe I was molested. I have no way of knowing though.

I asked my therapist how she would deal with a maybe, and she responded that she couldn't say because she isn't me.

So, I ask you all. How do you deal with "maybe"? How do you cope with uncertainties? My therapist told me what healthy coping might look like if I resolved to believe a yes, and I see how that would be helpful, but I'm not there. I'm not at a yes. At least, not yet.

What do I do?

Thanks.

1 Answer

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  • 8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    First, she said "near certain."

    Second, how she can be nearly certain is that you are a human being, with a human psychology. When children have sexual dreams it's nearly always, if not absolutely always, because someone was sexual with them.

    She has a vested interest? How so? You trust her? Is that because you think she is trying to HELP you?

    How to cope with uncertainties is first to realize that where you are in this moment is NOT the rest of your life. You're in therapy for help. It's a process. You are in, not after, that process.

    What you do is talk openly and honestly with your therapist.

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