If someone implied over the phone that it seemed you had a drug problem (&you did) how wld you respond?

Everybody is different,if someone is using drugs and is at the early stages where they actually feel or convince themselves they are better on them than before they discovered them - they may defend the drug use as if it is a best friend, as they likely feel very good on them and not so good off them.

It's very hard to help someone see how they behave on drugs other than to record it,and play it back to them at a time when they are sobering up and literally asking you what they were like.

I think sometimes you have to wait for the moment where the person is receptive as stressing the user may push them further into taking more substances or higher quantities.

Sometimes we have to accept,people make their choices

Sounds like typical addict behavior.

My uncle's wife was an extreme alcoholic. She was either passed out or throwing up. She had bottles hidden in every inch of the house, would regularly drive drunk, she couldn't work, she was just a mess. Whenever anyone sweetly advised she get help, she would say she doesn't need it. When people angrily called her a worthless drunk, she wouldn't even acknowledge it. She died at age 40 from liver failure.

An addict isn't going to change unless they want to. They enjoy using and/or they can't handle life without it. Sometimes interventions can sway someone into checking-in to rehab or going to meetings, maybe see an addictions counselor. But for an addict to truly heal they need to want it themselves. That usually happens when they reach their 'bottom' - after their disease has robbed them of everything they have. Its unfortunate but sometimes thats the only thing that could wake them up, especially if they wont listen to words or reason.

Try seeing if your family would like to hold an intervention lead by a mental health or addiction professional. Or perhaps get everyone to write a letter addressing their concerns and love for this person and mail it to them. All you can do is try. If it doesn't work, you all may have to step back and let them make their own choices.