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I have a long time friend who may not be a friend anymore.?

I met this friend about 13 years ago. Growing up we used to hang out together everyday until she started to become friends with the "popular girl" in school. We would all hang out together occasionally but I really did not feel comfortable around the popular girl so I never got to know her well. I was also semi jealous that " the popular girl" was spending so much time with my friend. I ended up leaving the country for 5 years and never received phone calls or letters from this long time friend. The only time we would speak is if I called her. This did not bother me at the time because I was enjoying my life and it was just nice when we did speak to laugh and catch up.

I came back occasionally to visit family and would drive to see her. She would never really come visit me when I was in town I would have to drive to her. When I would visit on vacation I would also buy dinners and nights on the town because I enjoyed the company of my old" friends". None of this bothered me at the time.

We are now both in our late twenties and live in the same area. When i first moved back I would still pay for things and go to visit her more than she came to see me. She was still good friends with "the popular girl" and they would drink and hang out everyday. I soon began to start saving money due to losing a job; the long time friend moved closer to me and stopped talking to "the popular girl" because she was drama. She told me about the popular girl always buying her drinks, dinners and shopping. She said that the popular girl buys her friends. My long time friend told me lots of dirt about the popular girl and made her sound so horrible and nasty.

NOW, i am still unemployed and my long time friend is working full time and so is her husband. Every-time we get together she says she is broke and has no money but she is always going to dinners and having cocktails with her co workers,buying new clothes and shoes. However, when we go somewhere she is suddenly broke and always wants to try what I have or have half of mine. she is drinking alot and I know they are not doing really well financially but I do know if she was honestly broke she would not be buying alcohol and clothes and eating out almost every night.

I.E We hung out this weekend and I told her I only had a couple dollars to spend. She decided to go shopping for three hours and then when we got food she took half of my plate.

Lately when we hang out whatever we do involves drinking alcohol and she usually only has enough for herself or wants to see what Im going to get. I dont want to let money ruin a friendship but I feel like she is abusing our friendship and maybe every friendship she has had. I am fearful if I tell her how I feel she will do to me what she did to the popular girl.

-how she can feel this is okay?

-What should I do to bring back our good times and stop having to worry about who is going to buy what?

-How should I approach her about this without sounding like she owes me something?

3 Answers

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  • 8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Sounds to me like maybe this other popular girl might have dumped her instead of the other way around. Have you thought about that ? If you and her hang out together make sure you eat before you leave your place and if she ask , aren't you hungry? Just say no, "I grabbed a bite before I left my place. I'm cutting back on eating out to save money. "That should eliminate that problem or piss your so called friend off. If she does get pissy then hey you've got your answer to your question. Maybe it may be time to keep your eyes open for another friendship to transpire. Who knows maybe your friend will straighten up and be sensitive to your needs and feelings. If not I wouldn't call her a friend would you ?

  • 8 years ago

    Really tough cuz u don't wanna lose a friend... it doesn't sound personal I. E. She only uses you for free food drinks etc. Sounds like she does it to everyone. As for her possibly talking bad bout you if u confront her..... well sounds like she will do it to u and if that's the case, maybe the friendship isn't as important to her as it is to u if money is gonna get in the way of it. Good luck. Let us know wat happens

  • ?
    Lv 5
    8 years ago

    It happens.

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