Do I have tetanus (or am I crazy)?

you are fine nothing to worry about

If you're truly a hypochondriac then you've been diagnosed by a psychologist with this form of mental illness which is an abnormal anxiety and obsession with disease. From your description, you really don't have the symptoms. If you've never been diagnosed, it's better not to say you have hypochondriasis.

Why would think you have tetanus? Here is some information about this disease. It's caused by a bacterium called Clostridium tetani and C. tetani is found throughout the outdoor environment. It's also found in the intestines of many mammals, including man. While in the intestines, it's in spore form, a form that some bacteria can assume when conditions are unfavorable. When an animal defecates, spores are passed out along with stool. Stool dries up, breaks down and spores are released into the dirt. They may be blown away to other locations or tracked away by hooves, paws or shoes. Objects left lying in contaminated dirt can accumulate spores and if an object is sharp enough to cause a puncture wound, spores can be transferred to deeper skin layers. C. tetani is also an anaerobe, which means it can't survive in its infectious form in oxygen-rich environments. Puncture wounds are a perfect place for spores because the the upper layers of skin close over the deeper layers, effectively cutting off oxygen. Now the spores can revert back to their infectious form. Contaminated objects can be something like cardboard but things like broken glass, hard jagged plastic, wood splinters and pointed or sharp metal objects are the kind of thing that can cause the deep puncture wounds that C. tetani does best in. Not superficial abrasions, far too much exposure to oxygen and light.

Now, having read all this, do you really believe your kitchen sink is lying in feces contaminated dirt, is covered with spores and is sharp enough to cause a puncture wound?