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How to deal with a dead beat future step brother?
That may have been a poor choice of words, but you can deside through my explanation to why I think he is one. So my sister is with her future to be husband (Tom). They have a baby (Jill), she's awesome and I'm glad my sis (ash) had her. But her choice in husband candidates is terrible he is lazy and drinks to much. He's not abusive physically at all (maybe just talks to much and just get weird ( pyschoish)). He's also a wo- man ( no offense lady's, just saying he is a feather weight to any man). He is 30 and I'm 20, and I do 100% more manly jesters and tasks then he probably has done in his life!!!!ive tried to push him to join me in maybe building a grill or fixing something but he just acts like it's not his cup of tea (and usually it's his own items). I help out because I want them to be happy together for my nieces sake, I never had a full family so I know how it feels when they break apart. Anyone have advice on how to fix this guy? Oh and this isn't just me, my sis is trying hard to find reasons to marry him besides having a love child haha. Electric shock therapy would be a possibility, but to old school....
1 Answer
- Anonymous8 years agoFavorite Answer
well, i think you should consider his background, usually that has a lot to do with how someone behaves. Perhaps he was abused as a kid, or overworked at a very young age. Was he raised primarily by women? There are a lot of explanations on why this man may be a bit feminine. But, nonetheless, its your sisters decision on whether or not to stay with him, there must've been some reason she started dating him in the first place.
But on your part, you could ask (unless you already know) what your sister wants to change about him; you mentioned he's not very handy.
Well, maybe he's into books or video games, try to maybe ask him to do what he' interested in doing. It'll give you a decent outlook on him, and it'll probably help the whole family situation if they do end up getting married. Ease the transition of asking him to participate in what some would consider 'manly ' activities. Maybe suggest building a tree house for your niece, and request his help. If not in building but maybe the architect part of it,(I.e; choosing the right tree, what type of ladders/ropes etc).
Or more simply maybe just ask him to keep you company while doing these activities, he may not be interested in building a grill but maybe he'd enjoy talking to you.
But whatever you do, I would suggest making sure you suggest/do it in a pleasant non demanding way. You would probably dislike it if someone came up to you and tried to change you into a feminine man because that's how they were raised... good luck buddy!